AIBU to think my friend should mind her own business?

[MounjaMum]

Last month I spent £540 in going out. That does not include when we go out as a family and my husband pays. I wanted a new handbag as I was running shot and didn't want to dip in savings so hinted to my husband and he gave me the money towards it. My friend said that it was unreasonable of me to do so.
She is saying that I should stop going out so much and should have left it till when I have the money. I am actually upset by the way she said it and told her as much and she is saying that I am acting like a spoilt 'bitch' - her exact words.
Am I being unreasonable in thinking that she should mind her own business!

Imagine comparing about being skint, then giving the person you're complaining to an exact breakdown of money you spent on going out. Then wittering on about having to hint for a new handbag because you're so poor.

What did you expect her to say?

Your spending habits are for you and your husband to decide.
If your husband had a problem, presumably he wouldn't have bought the bag; and so what if he 'spoils you'?
Likewise, this is not the friend to share this information with. You now know she views your spending negatively, so talk about other things.

Well, she should mind her own business but equally, you shouldn’t tell her your business if you don’t want her commenting on it.

Well if you are skint because you spent so much money and then bought a bag she has a point doesn't she ? I mean you are still free to ignore her but your bag isn't going to see you through till next pay day is it ?

@Jammiesdodger - I do not like cooking! I do it when I absolutely have to - but as hubby was away, kids love going out to eat, so we treated ourselves :-)

I have two friends who frequently complain about being short of money in one breath, and then tell me the latest thing they've bought that they could arguably wait for or live without altogether in the next. It's hard not to have an opinion.

With "good" friends I have said things like "you don't even play the guitar! You were telling me how skint you were last week!" (Response was "it's a very good guitar and worth more than I paid for it and besides, I'm going to learn how to play it" 🙄)

I also don't really understand "running short" of handbags.

You don't have to change what you do with your money though, so why does it matter?

Edited for very poor writing.

£540 on a single outing?

I guess you might go out 5x and spend about £100, or 10x and spend about £50. That's quite a lot but obviously you can afford it.

I don't know why you told your friend about how much you spend though?

She doesn't sound very nice and unless the spoilt bitch thing was a joke and you talk to eachother like that regularly then I'm not surprised you feel hurt.

Do you plead poverty, while she actually isn't as well off as you? That does grate on people. If your other posts are true and you've been given £ millions etc by your parents, she's probably just sick of you using terms like broke. Is she single? Perhaps have a bit of tact.

Good grief you two really do talk about how much things cost don’t you? Spending this, bracelet cost that. No wonder she felt able to pass comment as money was a strong theme of your conversation.

@MrsShawnHatosy - Not a single outing - that was since the beginning of June

How would she have school mum friends if she didn't have kids?! 🤦‍♀️

When I said I was 'broke'I do not mean I am actually broke as in I cannot survive til pay say - It is just a way of talking - it just means that I need to stop going out as much and she knows that.
She is not single, her husband is very generous with her.

Yeah I missed that I thought she said friend. Yeah it’s none of her business but I think it’s all very wasteful tbh.

You ate out for the entire week?

I honestly do not understand why so many think it is not normal to say how much things cost.
'Your dress is nice - where did you get it from?'- 'River Island - £x' - is that not normal between good friends?
'X got me this bracelet for my birthday - 'cannot believe he paid £800, I think it looks awful'
'Y wants some new trainers - he has outgrown his ones already - bloody Jordans are over £200!'

Just normal things among other things that we talk about - holidays, our parents, cooking, siblings chit chat, diet, weight, gym' etc etc

Why does this post sound like a humble brag from the OP? Buy what you want OP you don’t need anyone’s approval but fwiw you do sound kind of spoilt, eating all your meals out to avoid cooking, draining your account to spend on frivolous things and then hinting for more from your husband. Weird dynamic

we went out 3 days and had take away 2 days. Nothing fancy just Nandos, Tapas and Frankie's and had Pizza and fish and chips take away.

Did your children pay for what they had or did you just split the bills? 🤔

Along with saying you're "broke" when you're "not broke" I can see you're prone to telling it like it isn't.

To be honest, if I was having a convo with one of my friends and she was saying she was skint, and then went on to say she had spent £540 on goin out in the last few weeks I would probably make a comment like that. You're saying you're skint, but then stating you didn't want to dip into your savings so hinted to your DH to give you money towards a new handbag. You make it her business by discussing your finances with her and so she is allowed to give her opinion (and I think she makes a good point). Sometimes friends give us advice we don't want to hear, because we know they are right. It's called being a good friend. Your finances are totally up to you, and as long as you and your husband are on the same page it's fine, so just don't talk about them to other people if you don't want them passing judgement.

Sounds like you were boasting about your social life and your new bag.

how will they pay? they are at school!

When I said I was 'broke'I do not mean I am actually broke as in I cannot survive til pay say - It is just a way of talking

Maybe her husband isn't as generous with her as you think, or maybe it comes with conditions you are unaware of, either way she's clearly had enough of you wittering on about "having no money".. when you clearly do and have access to way more from your DH whenever you want it for whatever you want.. you've turned it into a competition that she can never win.

Tone deaf at best.. completely self involved at worst.

Eating out with the kids for a week because you won't cook is just the icing on the cake.

You said "we treated ourselves" so I was being facetious.

@NewbieSM Frivolous things??