AIBU to think my friend should mind her own business?

[MounjaMum]

Last month I spent £540 in going out. That does not include when we go out as a family and my husband pays. I wanted a new handbag as I was running shot and didn't want to dip in savings so hinted to my husband and he gave me the money towards it. My friend said that it was unreasonable of me to do so.
She is saying that I should stop going out so much and should have left it till when I have the money. I am actually upset by the way she said it and told her as much and she is saying that I am acting like a spoilt 'bitch' - her exact words.
Am I being unreasonable in thinking that she should mind her own business!

She should mind her own business. But you should not overshare as you did.

Yay for you, having money to burn in a col crises. It's non of my business how you spend your money, however, I would love you to consider using independents rather than chain restaurants. That way you can help your local economy experience some of the same luxuries too.

Why not? Can you describe the harm done to them?

It’s their money. I don’t see how a spouse paying for a bag for another spouse is them being “spoiled” particularly.

How does your friend even know what you spend. If you've been bragging about it then no wonder she was off with you. I think it's quite a lot to spend on just going out.

It's more about setting a precedent to young children. Her kids may not grow up to be as well off as she is. They may not have the option of automatically eating out when the person who usually cooks goes away for a week.

So perhaps more about setting the example that just because the usual cook is away for a week, you don't immediately start ordering up take aways and eating out? Rather the normal, adult thing to do in the circumstances is cook for yourself, even if it's not your favourite thing to do.

It's not something I particularly feel strongly about, mind you. Just one of those horses for courses issues.

I know someone like this that has to mention how much everything costs but she grew up with very little and I think for her it feels like a sign she is doing well. I often think people that need to mention how much everything costs, have something they are trying to prove or an insecurity somewhere.

I dont think spending on a nice bag is an issue at all but the need to mention the price of each item often is a want to prove something. I think ive only ever mentioned how much something costs me if someone has directly asked, otherwise its very odd.

This exactly.

Shes not a very good friend. She doesn't seem to like you

What an excessive overreaction. The OP has described one week in her life, and it's irrelevant to what she posted.

It's a pile on and nothing less.

How am I 'overreacting'? I explained a point of view, and said I don't feel particularly strongly about it.

If anyone's 'overreacting' it must be you, to respond like that to such a mild comment - and one where I was explaining what another poster might have meant. I haven't 'piled' on anyone.

I think your replies would have been different if you'd quartered your figures. Sounds like your income and lifestyle is well out of reach of most of us here and they're putting their judgement of how you spend your money on the situation rather than answering your AIBU.

I didn't say you were piling on – I said this thread is a pile on, and over-focusing and over-reacting to OP's food choices is most definitely contributing to that.

Agree

Bit harsh to get your husband to pay because you didn't want to dip into your savings. So the bag wasn't worth £400 of your money but you didn't mind when it was his money. Does he have at least as much savings as you do?

Agree … the way OP is writing does not sound typically British.

People work in chains too do they not deserve paid ?

Very few people with children would spend over £500 on their own social events in one month, potentially that’s what your friend was a bit confused about? And the way you’ve worded how you “don’t ask” your parents and now your husband for things is definitely hinting/asking. But I also accept that for someone who has grown up wealthy enough for trust funds to be involved perhaps doesn’t have an understanding of more average monthly spending patterns. I’d just not talk about money.

She doesn’t sound much of a mate. If she’s jealous, nothing stopping her upping her income. 🙄

And I reject your assertion that I was 'over-reacting' in my comment. You were 'over-reacting' in your response to my post.

And why were you asking the other poster to explain their position? If you think the thread is 'over-focusing' on OP's food choices, why didn't you just let the matter drop? Instead you ask posters to explain their views on the eating out issue and then take the arse when you get a response.

Why did poster feel the need to divert the post with irrelevancies? ... and around we go. Asking them gives the opportunity to explain why on earth it's relevant – alas, it wasn't. It never is.

All it is is MN annoyed at someone who has money and somehow turning her post into a fictionalised play-by-play on why she's a bad mother.

Yeah the spoiled princess gives me the ick,and I’d assume my financial situation is very simpilar to yours. Although I earn much of it myself.m

spoiled princess is so juvenile. I do think you’re very materialistic and focused on money;, which makes me wonder if you’re actually used to money. As those who are fo not talk as you do. Wealth is discreet. You are far from that.

I could not agree more. Princess is vomit worthy for a child and beyond embarrassing for an adult woman.