To think life is more of a pain in the arse than it's worth

[CurdinHenry]

Another day another random assortment of hassle and pain

And this is pretty much the best it's ever been (ok the 00s were better)

Aibu to wonder why this is a secret truth?

Ah, yes, for sure 👍🏻

I don't think the OP is really in a dark place, I think they just started a philosophical discussion about the general futility of life, didn't they?

I don't agree that questioning the point or pointlessness of life means you have a mental illness or that it shouldn't be discussed.
I think you can hold those thoughts but also continue with life and even enjoy bits of it even if underneath that you think it's all inherently pointless.

To think life is pointless and a pain in the arse struggle most of the time doesn't have to mean you want to end it.

No, I don't agree. OP is either in a dark place or just showing off.

I disagree. The same way motherhood is not for someone, life can be not for someone. It is a chore, a tedious drag and add in chronic pain, illnesses etc etc it feels more like a sentence (a life sentence). There is no easy way to opt out once you are in.

The only thing I’d say is that it is individual how we experience and feel it. Some people obviously enjoy it but others clearly don’t. I think religion was a great tool to convince the masses they should be grateful for their lot and shame them out of thinking anything that would make the current system crumble; slaves obey your masters, workers obey your bosses, pay taxes, and propagate so that there will be future workers to carry on this existence.

This is really interesting, thank you - I learned something new today.

Yes, i loved life so much before perimenopause kicked in, and when I was in rude health a decade ago before I had a head injury and post concussion syndrome (and was then injured permanently by an off label antipsychotic that gave me a movement disorder).

I'm certain if I'd not been so unwell, I'd be thinking life was still peachy.

I think there's there’s an important distinction between happiness and pleasure.

People on the whole (if they’re in a position to) plan & do pleasurable activities. I don’t think this is happiness but I think people convince themselves it is (and like to document it on social media, but that’s a whole other post).

I’m sorry to hear that, my life also changed due to a chronic illness. I think health can have a big impact on happiness but there are of course very ill people who are happy.

I will say though that to a certain extent having money really does impact happiness and misery though I’ve always roughly felt the same. More money does help you cope far better and endure better.

When I was a child I was helpless to change my situation and would wish never to have been there… the only glimpses of light were when I thought things could change (and I knew it would only be to more easily endure life) but I escaped one cage to another cage and now I’m so injured from my flight it will be hard to escape again.

Yes! That is such an interesting distinction. I don’t know if it is reasonable to expect to be happy all the time but perhaps some people feel a general contentment? An inner joy?

I think too that people forget you can look happy, be making the most of things on the outside by quietly enduring or barely coping on the inside. I’m always amused when people say how cheerful I but if I can just by being not make life more miserable for anyone I’m okay being misunderstood.

Honestly, I've felt like this from a very young age. I used to look around and be like "am I the only one?".
The couple of times I mentioned it, I got the comments in here.
I get on with life and genuinely have some great times, but if I had the choice, I wouldn't have been born.

As cute as it sounds, you genuinely have to look for the good in life. Realistic I’m can get a bit depressed. DS is really ill and has ASD too so he challenging.
I’ve perimenopause too but I enjoy the little moments, like watching the birds. Posting on mumsnet, today I carried an elderly woman’s bag to her house, helping others takes you out of your bubble.
Life is short you can try to embrace the good or indulge in the bad.
These days you even have the choice to opt out of life a short plane ride away,

No she/he isn't, it's just a discussion.
They say it themselves early on in their posts.
And why would wanting to discuss the point of life be the OP "showing off"?

Who knows.. I'm not them but if you feel life is futile then you must be depressed on some level..

Yep you can see how people are quick to shut down any conversation around this with "you're mentally ill, normal people don't feel like you, everyone I know is happy" when in reality people can't express any of these feelings because you'll be called a downer or worse-that you're trying to make everyone else miserable. So how would anyone really know all their friends are happy?

The weird word vomit is definitely showing off.

Some things in life you don't choose.

But in life there will be paths to choose and choices to make for most people.

Having depression makes it difficult to see the choices and help on offer. It's difficult to help a person who won't help themselves.

Don't be so silly and narrow minded

I know what you mean.
I don’t think happiness is a default state but it’s expected to be and I sometimes find the pressure quite irritating.

That’s not say I don’t like laughing, I really do.

This was even more pronounced growing up in a certain religious denomination. It was sacrilegious not to think life was a gift, anything else was an attack from the enemy(the devil) but I can’t actually blame them too much.

How do you control a society and make it produce future workers otherwise? You can’t have too many people opting out. You need to shame people for thoughts that might disrupt the system. Not that that is working anyway, the birth rate is low around most of the world, we have a looming climate crises and employment crisis but we don’t want the system to fall…

I'm not. You can't seriously think that the OP is posting in good faith!?

Agree with this (I’m quite with Karl Marx on that one, although not a communist by any means).

My grandmothers were born into grinding poverty. Left school at 13, worked in mills, 10 hour days. No contraception, no NHS, women couldn’t vote.
I am very aware of how very, very lucky I am. Perhaps, consider how lucky you are rather than whine about the ‘drudge’ of a life free from the fear of TB, poverty, the workhouse or war.

Absolutely. I find all of this ridiculous whining very distasteful.

It would be one thing if these depressed people kept it to themselves, but they never do. They always have to poison the well for everyone.