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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would I be unreasonable to complain to school

203 replies

geekygardener · 17/06/2026 19:20

Hello,

Today one of my dc took part in a sports event at school. The event was an all day thing. Dc is in secondary school.

Unfortunately, in the morning, my dc suffered an accident when another child hit her with the equipment. Complete accident and I don’t blame the other person, who did apologise. I also fully understand that accidents do happen, especially when lots of children are doing sport. I am not one to worry unnecessarily and I am not one to complain easily.

When I went to pick dc up from school (an hour and a half after normal time as the event went on past school hours) I immediately noticed she looked completely different. She was getting in the car and it was sunny, so I couldn’t see her closely at first, but it was strange because of how different she looked in her face.
When she was fully in the car I could see that she had two black eyes and pretty bad swelling on her nose and between her eyes. There was/is bruising across her nose and a small cut. It is quite obvious that her nose is broken.

Dc explained what happened. She did tell me she had a headache and felt dizzy all afternoon. Teachers witnessed the incident, which included DDs head being knocked back quite violently, and told her that as they were in the middle of the activity they would see how she was afterwards. Despite this no one did check on dc and no one sought or applied first aid. There was time between activities where other staff were present and no one said or did anything.

Later, dc told a member of staff that she had a headache and felt dizzy and was told “it’s just a bump“ and to carry on with the next sporting activity.
One teacher eventually did offer an ice pack but this was hours later and dd declined (this teacher wasn’t part of the event and saw dd in between the activities and seemed quite shocked upon seeing her face) . Dd is extremely shy and said she felt uncomfortable and bad for the other child so declined the ice pack. I told her I think she should have concentrated on her own well-being rather than worry about others but really staff should have assessed her because lots of people decline treatment after an accident due to shock or adrenaline. Dd said she didn’t want to make a fuss and tried to play it down, which I believe because this is how she is.

No one checked her for concussion or showed any care during or after the incident. No one contacted me to give me the heads up, or even allow me to make a decision to seek medical advice. Dc was left to carry on the day (hours as this happened first thing) despite feeling rubbish. No one did anything as the day went on despite the swelling and bruising becoming more severe.

If I was in charge of a group of children (which I often am) and saw a child with this level of swelling and bruising I would most certainly be concerned, be providing first aid and notifying parents.

Dd does not want me to contact the school. She is embarrassed and says she doesn’t want to cause a fuss as she is fine now.

I am not in the habit of overreacting and making small injuries into something they are not but every time I look at dd I feel sad, sorry for her and furious that no one helped her. Luckily nothing more serious happened but I feel it’s negligent to not consider the possibility when a child suffers a head injury.

Despite dd asking me not to approach the school, I feel that I should. I feel like they need to look at their first aid procedures and maybe reflect on this to prevent a much worse outcome next time.

It doesn’t help that a friend of mine lost her little boy recently due to a head injury from him falling over. It’s made me quite conscious of the dangers and I feel quite angry and sick that this could have been a lot worse and no one checked. Her face is quite a mess so it’s bad enough as it is.

AIBU to contact school. If people think I should what would you say?

OP posts:
Pinkdayss · 17/06/2026 20:35

OP, really hope she will be ok.
The schools actions are very poor.
She has been clearly injured and they completely abdicated their responsibility to her.

My son's friend woke in the middle of the night vomiting and his parents were so concerned they brought him to A&E as he was 8, where it emerged he had had a nasty knock to the head and was seriously concussed.

The school hadn't mentioned anything and neither had he.

He was in hospital for several days and their was a huge review in the school.

This is very very poor.
I hope she recovers well.

SnippySnappy · 17/06/2026 20:36

So you took the time to type this out and post this on Mumsnet at 7.20pm to complain about the lack of school's action, rather than taking action yourself as her parent by getting her to A&E for an X-ray?
Poor kid has been let down all round.

PurpleFlower1983 · 17/06/2026 20:36

Yes this needs reporting and the injury will need to be reported to the local authority or higher up the academy hierarchy. This is unacceptable. What did the doctor say? Is it definitely broken?

Childanddogmama · 17/06/2026 20:38

Really bad on behalf of the school and you must complain about this.

sharkstale · 17/06/2026 20:38

Pippa12 · 17/06/2026 19:35

Tbh, if my daughters nose ‘was quite obviously broken’ I would have driven her straight to A&E. I wouldn’t be asking my mum to check on her and I absolutely wouldn’t be posting an essay on here before I got her medical care.

For these reasons I’m leaning to you likely exaggerating/over reacting.

Your care has been no different to what the school has offered- absolutely nothing and it’s 19:30 at night.

This was my first thought.

StasisMom · 17/06/2026 20:39

I see your point OP - I had a similar injury and did go to the hospital, and was told to just rest etc. You’re her mum and know her best, so you keeping an eye is no bad thing. I’m glad you are going to get her checked though, just in case. And you definitely should contact the school! I hope she’s much better soon.

countrylife00 · 17/06/2026 20:40

What did they say when you took her to A&E?

chocoluv · 17/06/2026 20:41

geekygardener · 17/06/2026 19:42

It’s not an emergency. She is acting her normal self, eating, drinking, chatting to her friends, moving around as normal, can breath ok. She is fine to wait an hour and not be rushed to A and E, where she will likely sit there for hours and hours. If she was showing serious signs of severe concussion or losing consciousness then yes. A and E is for acute medical emergencies which are life and death.

I voted YANBU and then changed my mind after reading that you’re not concerned.

If you’re not concerned and think she can easily wait 8+ hours to be checked out, then the school obviously weren’t concerned either.

It’s either an emergency or it’s not.

If you don’t think it’s an emergency and she can wait to be seen - then I wouldn’t contact the school.

If you think it is an emergency - then why not go directly to A&E straight after school.

Goonie1 · 17/06/2026 20:43

My son broke his wrist (due to a bullying incident) He knew it was broken as he’d broken his other wrist a while ago (at school again!) Anyway, he went to his class, told his teacher who then did not ask him any questions about it, did not offer first aid and made him continue his lesson. I didn’t get a call from school and he had to get the bus home. They got an email from me requesting someone phone me as we were walking back to the car from A&E.
Your daughter’s situation is a head injury and absolutely should’ve been dealt with more seriously than it was. I can’t believe they basically disregarded her injuries to be able to continue with the sports! The school have a duty of care and absolutely should’ve done more. Please contact them.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 17/06/2026 20:46

Potential concussion and facial fracture in a child? You go straight to your hospital emergency fgs.

Goonie1 · 17/06/2026 20:46

Ps. A&E is not just for acute medical emergencies which are life or death….they are for accidents too, hence the name Accident and Emergency. If you went to a GP with a broken arm (not an acute medical emergency) they would send you to A&E

Growlybear83 · 17/06/2026 20:47

I agree with others that the school have behaved very badly but I can’t imagine the circumstances when I would be prioritising asking for advice on an internet forum on whether to make a complaint to the school over taking my daughter to be checked for a very obvious facial injury 😳

geekygardener · 17/06/2026 20:47

@countrylife00 we are sat waiting in minor injuries

OP posts:
Nearly50omg · 17/06/2026 20:49

geekygardener · 17/06/2026 19:49

Do people realise that they don’t do anything for a broken nose anyway. The advice is to treat it at home and seek medical attention if it is not better in 3 weeks.

Obviously I am taking her due to the head injury and headache but a broken nose itself is not an emergency

They will xray it and may need to operate on her depending on whether she has broken bones in her face! You are under reacting as much as the neglectful school have! Also from a legal point of view and social services etc too she needs checking in hospital

SadFaceEmoji · 17/06/2026 20:52

A broken nose can require surgery. I’m also surprised you’ve waited to take her.

Would I complain to the school? You bet your life I would.

Goonie1 · 17/06/2026 20:52

geekygardener · 17/06/2026 19:49

Do people realise that they don’t do anything for a broken nose anyway. The advice is to treat it at home and seek medical attention if it is not better in 3 weeks.

Obviously I am taking her due to the head injury and headache but a broken nose itself is not an emergency

I went with a broken nose last year, they don’t “do anything” as in patch it up or put it in a cast but they checked me for concussion, where the swelling was etc and also whether blood had pooled which would’ve been a very bad thing I was told and would’ve needed some further care and treatment. So yes, they do do something!

Tired6789 · 17/06/2026 20:52

This is a serious failure by the school. Take pictures of the injuries and email the head teacher and copy in the chair of governors asking for an explanation and what steps they will be taking to ensure this doesnt happen again. I would consider contacting ofsted too.

chocoluv · 17/06/2026 20:53

OP i genuinely don’t understand why you’d wait so long to take her.

Surely your DD is going to be tired going to minor injuries so late.

A lot of the time minor injuries will send you to A&E if they think she needs a doctor or X-ray.
I used to always take my DC as early as possible, just in case I needed to go A&E and wait hours to be seen.

Hopefully you’ll be in and out quickly.

SunnyRedSnail · 17/06/2026 20:56

geekygardener · 17/06/2026 19:30

I wanted to add that they also let dd out to walk home alone after the event.

This makes it even worse!

They have failed so badly on every requirement when it comes to injuries.

Even at secondary school (I'm a teacher) they need to phone the parents for a head injury and log it in the accident book.

Take lots of photos and document what happened while your waiting in the MIU then email the school.

I cannot believe they let her walk home on her own looking like that!!

PS - minor injuries is absolutely the right call. They will then send you on to A&E if required. Our MIU is amazing and they even stitched my daughters head when she fell at school and split it open badly.

SummerDive · 17/06/2026 20:58

geekygardener · 17/06/2026 20:47

@countrylife00 we are sat waiting in minor injuries

I’m really happy to read that @geekygardener
I hope your dd is ok and will be feeling better soon

Fwiw my dc had accident quite similar to your dd where he ended up with a black eye etc…
It took him about 5 days to recover. He slept all day solidity first the first 3~4 days.
She might need a few days to recover too

AllyMacbealmyarse · 17/06/2026 20:58

I generally think parents complain too much and that was my initial thought when I saw the thread title but having read the detail you also should complain and I’d be raising hell if it were me. The teachers have entirely failed your dad in their duty of care and the least they need is a bloody rocket, your poor DD being in pain and embarrassed all day. I’d like to see how they coped with similar injuries, bet they have been out of work like a shot.

Hope your DD is feeling ok now.

Greybeardy · 17/06/2026 20:59

geekygardener · 17/06/2026 19:49

Do people realise that they don’t do anything for a broken nose anyway. The advice is to treat it at home and seek medical attention if it is not better in 3 weeks.

Obviously I am taking her due to the head injury and headache but a broken nose itself is not an emergency

A broken nose can definitely be an emergency. (Doi: doctor)

BlueOrangeDreams · 17/06/2026 21:00

Id definitely complain. Id expect them to check on her and call you.

Freakyfriday777 · 17/06/2026 21:04

geekygardener · 17/06/2026 20:47

@countrylife00 we are sat waiting in minor injuries

Just an fyi, minor injuries won’t treat a head injury. Hope your daughter is okay! That is shocking by the school and absolutely should have been escalated. Take pictures to document injuries no contact the school in the morning. Hope she feels better soon x

Butterontoastandtea · 17/06/2026 21:10

OP you should definitely complain to school, they have failed their duty of care. I’m a TA and a call home should have been done asap.
Glad you made it down to minor injuries, I hope your DD is ok.
But just to say my DD suffered a head injury a few weeks backs, felt sick, dizzy, headache and blurred vision. Two hours down minor injuries and was just about to leave but threw up so sent up A&E. She had mild concussion and not allowed any sports for two weeks. About 5 days later she felt funny again (sick / dizzy) and I picked her up early from school. She has been fine since but P.E teacher still checking in on her and asking her to sit out if she finds it too much.