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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would I be unreasonable to complain to school

203 replies

geekygardener · 17/06/2026 19:20

Hello,

Today one of my dc took part in a sports event at school. The event was an all day thing. Dc is in secondary school.

Unfortunately, in the morning, my dc suffered an accident when another child hit her with the equipment. Complete accident and I don’t blame the other person, who did apologise. I also fully understand that accidents do happen, especially when lots of children are doing sport. I am not one to worry unnecessarily and I am not one to complain easily.

When I went to pick dc up from school (an hour and a half after normal time as the event went on past school hours) I immediately noticed she looked completely different. She was getting in the car and it was sunny, so I couldn’t see her closely at first, but it was strange because of how different she looked in her face.
When she was fully in the car I could see that she had two black eyes and pretty bad swelling on her nose and between her eyes. There was/is bruising across her nose and a small cut. It is quite obvious that her nose is broken.

Dc explained what happened. She did tell me she had a headache and felt dizzy all afternoon. Teachers witnessed the incident, which included DDs head being knocked back quite violently, and told her that as they were in the middle of the activity they would see how she was afterwards. Despite this no one did check on dc and no one sought or applied first aid. There was time between activities where other staff were present and no one said or did anything.

Later, dc told a member of staff that she had a headache and felt dizzy and was told “it’s just a bump“ and to carry on with the next sporting activity.
One teacher eventually did offer an ice pack but this was hours later and dd declined (this teacher wasn’t part of the event and saw dd in between the activities and seemed quite shocked upon seeing her face) . Dd is extremely shy and said she felt uncomfortable and bad for the other child so declined the ice pack. I told her I think she should have concentrated on her own well-being rather than worry about others but really staff should have assessed her because lots of people decline treatment after an accident due to shock or adrenaline. Dd said she didn’t want to make a fuss and tried to play it down, which I believe because this is how she is.

No one checked her for concussion or showed any care during or after the incident. No one contacted me to give me the heads up, or even allow me to make a decision to seek medical advice. Dc was left to carry on the day (hours as this happened first thing) despite feeling rubbish. No one did anything as the day went on despite the swelling and bruising becoming more severe.

If I was in charge of a group of children (which I often am) and saw a child with this level of swelling and bruising I would most certainly be concerned, be providing first aid and notifying parents.

Dd does not want me to contact the school. She is embarrassed and says she doesn’t want to cause a fuss as she is fine now.

I am not in the habit of overreacting and making small injuries into something they are not but every time I look at dd I feel sad, sorry for her and furious that no one helped her. Luckily nothing more serious happened but I feel it’s negligent to not consider the possibility when a child suffers a head injury.

Despite dd asking me not to approach the school, I feel that I should. I feel like they need to look at their first aid procedures and maybe reflect on this to prevent a much worse outcome next time.

It doesn’t help that a friend of mine lost her little boy recently due to a head injury from him falling over. It’s made me quite conscious of the dangers and I feel quite angry and sick that this could have been a lot worse and no one checked. Her face is quite a mess so it’s bad enough as it is.

AIBU to contact school. If people think I should what would you say?

OP posts:
VIII · 17/06/2026 19:41

It's unacceptable of the school and you should definitely complain but I genuinely can't understand why you're so cross with them and yet you haven't sought medical attention for her either?

geekygardener · 17/06/2026 19:42

It’s not an emergency. She is acting her normal self, eating, drinking, chatting to her friends, moving around as normal, can breath ok. She is fine to wait an hour and not be rushed to A and E, where she will likely sit there for hours and hours. If she was showing serious signs of severe concussion or losing consciousness then yes. A and E is for acute medical emergencies which are life and death.

OP posts:
Squidward2026 · 17/06/2026 19:43

Bloody hell, this is a clear A&E case. Get there now! The severe effects of concussion can take time to appear so sure she might seem fine now but not be later.

And yes, 100% contact the school. Their conduct was unbelivably dangerous.

JoshLymanSwagger · 17/06/2026 19:45

geekygardener · 17/06/2026 19:42

It’s not an emergency. She is acting her normal self, eating, drinking, chatting to her friends, moving around as normal, can breath ok. She is fine to wait an hour and not be rushed to A and E, where she will likely sit there for hours and hours. If she was showing serious signs of severe concussion or losing consciousness then yes. A and E is for acute medical emergencies which are life and death.

And your medical degree came with a box of rice crispies?

I feel very sorry for your DD.

Neglected by her school, and you're really not much better.

She should have been checked at A&E hours ago.

I'm out.

Eenameenadeeka · 17/06/2026 19:46

If she's had a headache and felt dizzy all afternoon after a knock to the head then she needs urgent medical attention immediately. Do that now and worry about the school later.

geekygardener · 17/06/2026 19:47

@JoshLymanSwagger no from the school of common sense actually

OP posts:
abathofmilkwithladydi · 17/06/2026 19:47

I was completely with you OP until you decided A&E is unnecessary for a “very clearly” broken nose.

if it’s broken and it swells overnight, that can cause considerable damage.

if it’s not broken, then what on earth should the school have done differently? They also clearly decided it wasn’t serious enough for medical attention.

Nicnak2223 · 17/06/2026 19:47

Do you have a minor injuries unit near you. I agree this isn't a and e but medical attention is needed. Also please complain to the school.

PurpleLovecats · 17/06/2026 19:48

You’re being as placid as the school surely?

NinaGeiger · 17/06/2026 19:48

A&E is for broken bones and to check out concussion too.

geekygardener · 17/06/2026 19:49

Do people realise that they don’t do anything for a broken nose anyway. The advice is to treat it at home and seek medical attention if it is not better in 3 weeks.

Obviously I am taking her due to the head injury and headache but a broken nose itself is not an emergency

OP posts:
JoshLymanSwagger · 17/06/2026 19:50

geekygardener · 17/06/2026 19:47

@JoshLymanSwagger no from the school of common sense actually

@geekygardener Where is your common sense?

Sorry, but she has a facial/skull injury and you want her to see your MUM, not a Doctor?

You do know there's football tonight?

That probably means the queues at A&E will be bigger the later you leave it.

Please, Please just take her to A&E.

VIII · 17/06/2026 19:50

You know the A in A&E is for accidents right... Hmm

If it's clearly broken what do you think staying at home waiting for her gran to check it out is going to achieve?

TigerRag · 17/06/2026 19:51

Poor kid. It seems no one's that bothered?

I've injured my head and hobbled straight to minor injuries. (because it's a 15 minute walk and I felt ok) Certainly not something that could have waited

Crazydoglady1980 · 17/06/2026 19:51

You can’t complain to school if you are doing the same thing. Yes medical advice should have been sought when the injury happened but the first thing school will ask if you complain is what has GP/doctor said?

VIII · 17/06/2026 19:51

geekygardener · 17/06/2026 19:49

Do people realise that they don’t do anything for a broken nose anyway. The advice is to treat it at home and seek medical attention if it is not better in 3 weeks.

Obviously I am taking her due to the head injury and headache but a broken nose itself is not an emergency

My friend broke her nose she needed surgery. I'm going to be blunt here but you sound ridiculous.

You're obviously not taking her for the head injury or you would have taken her already. Your poor daughter.

Pippa12 · 17/06/2026 19:52

geekygardener · 17/06/2026 19:49

Do people realise that they don’t do anything for a broken nose anyway. The advice is to treat it at home and seek medical attention if it is not better in 3 weeks.

Obviously I am taking her due to the head injury and headache but a broken nose itself is not an emergency

I’m also a very experienced nurse. Both you and your mum are very wrong about this.

Poor kid.

geekygardener · 17/06/2026 19:52

Thank you @Nicnak2223at least someone is making sense. I am taking her to the minor injury clinic now. Some posters would have her blue lighted to A and E and anything else is neglect snd dc should be taken away ! No wonder there is hours and hours of waiting in our A and E departments.

OP posts:
JustAnotherWhinger · 17/06/2026 19:53

geekygardener · 17/06/2026 19:49

Do people realise that they don’t do anything for a broken nose anyway. The advice is to treat it at home and seek medical attention if it is not better in 3 weeks.

Obviously I am taking her due to the head injury and headache but a broken nose itself is not an emergency

The headache and dizziness from a head injury means she should be at A&E now.

The school have been utterly neglectful and I absolutely would speak to them about it, but you also shouldn’t have her sat at home eating instead of at A&E.

MyEasterBonnet · 17/06/2026 19:53

geekygardener · 17/06/2026 19:42

It’s not an emergency. She is acting her normal self, eating, drinking, chatting to her friends, moving around as normal, can breath ok. She is fine to wait an hour and not be rushed to A and E, where she will likely sit there for hours and hours. If she was showing serious signs of severe concussion or losing consciousness then yes. A and E is for acute medical emergencies which are life and death.

So what’s your complaint against the school?

Losingtheplot2016 · 17/06/2026 19:54

It sounds like it will be obvious at school by how she looks so this makes it easier for you to bring it up.

i think you can say - she’s not complaining and doesn’t want a fuss - but I am !

TheyGrewUp · 17/06/2026 19:54
  1. Get her to A&E - she may need a Rhinoplasty referral.
  1. Check out the head injury

When she's been medically assessed and you have firm answers about her injuries, I'd write a non confrontational letter ti the Head.

I am writing to cinfirm that when I collected dd from the sports event yesterday, she had two black eyes emerging, had been badly, albeit accidentally in the face and it is confirmed her nose is broken. The hospital have recommended x and she will not be at school before next Monday because she needs rest and recover.

That accident took place x hours before the event finished and it appears that dd was not assessed by a first aider, and as you should be aware, I was not telephoned.

I trust there is a formal accident report lodged already.

I am not happy about the support and assistance offered to dd and shall be grateful if your secretary will please telephone me to make a mutually convenient appointment for you and I to discuss this matter and for you to set out a procedure to be implemented in future to ensure similar events are more assiduously handled.

Yours
OP

FWIW when DS sustained a suspected broken nose at an after school match, I was telephoned immediately, collected him and took him to A&E. His housemaster phoned me later that night and the school nurse rang firsr thing on the Monday.

Smilingzebra · 17/06/2026 20:00

If you were reluctant to go straight to A&E why did you not at the very least call 111 immediately given the headache, dizziness and visible injuries? I'm very pleased for your daughter that you are finally getting her some medical attention though and I hope she is ok.

geekygardener · 17/06/2026 20:01

@MyEasterBonnetthey didn’t give first aid or check her to assess for concussion or to assess how bad it was. Which I have done

OP posts:
Duckyfondant · 17/06/2026 20:02

You're right about the medical advice OP, as I'm sure you know. A quick look at the NHS page confirms that what you've done is correct.

I imagine OP expected the school to give first aid and call for her to be collected, at least. Not immediately rushing her to a and e isn't really the point

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