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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would I be unreasonable to complain to school

203 replies

geekygardener · 17/06/2026 19:20

Hello,

Today one of my dc took part in a sports event at school. The event was an all day thing. Dc is in secondary school.

Unfortunately, in the morning, my dc suffered an accident when another child hit her with the equipment. Complete accident and I don’t blame the other person, who did apologise. I also fully understand that accidents do happen, especially when lots of children are doing sport. I am not one to worry unnecessarily and I am not one to complain easily.

When I went to pick dc up from school (an hour and a half after normal time as the event went on past school hours) I immediately noticed she looked completely different. She was getting in the car and it was sunny, so I couldn’t see her closely at first, but it was strange because of how different she looked in her face.
When she was fully in the car I could see that she had two black eyes and pretty bad swelling on her nose and between her eyes. There was/is bruising across her nose and a small cut. It is quite obvious that her nose is broken.

Dc explained what happened. She did tell me she had a headache and felt dizzy all afternoon. Teachers witnessed the incident, which included DDs head being knocked back quite violently, and told her that as they were in the middle of the activity they would see how she was afterwards. Despite this no one did check on dc and no one sought or applied first aid. There was time between activities where other staff were present and no one said or did anything.

Later, dc told a member of staff that she had a headache and felt dizzy and was told “it’s just a bump“ and to carry on with the next sporting activity.
One teacher eventually did offer an ice pack but this was hours later and dd declined (this teacher wasn’t part of the event and saw dd in between the activities and seemed quite shocked upon seeing her face) . Dd is extremely shy and said she felt uncomfortable and bad for the other child so declined the ice pack. I told her I think she should have concentrated on her own well-being rather than worry about others but really staff should have assessed her because lots of people decline treatment after an accident due to shock or adrenaline. Dd said she didn’t want to make a fuss and tried to play it down, which I believe because this is how she is.

No one checked her for concussion or showed any care during or after the incident. No one contacted me to give me the heads up, or even allow me to make a decision to seek medical advice. Dc was left to carry on the day (hours as this happened first thing) despite feeling rubbish. No one did anything as the day went on despite the swelling and bruising becoming more severe.

If I was in charge of a group of children (which I often am) and saw a child with this level of swelling and bruising I would most certainly be concerned, be providing first aid and notifying parents.

Dd does not want me to contact the school. She is embarrassed and says she doesn’t want to cause a fuss as she is fine now.

I am not in the habit of overreacting and making small injuries into something they are not but every time I look at dd I feel sad, sorry for her and furious that no one helped her. Luckily nothing more serious happened but I feel it’s negligent to not consider the possibility when a child suffers a head injury.

Despite dd asking me not to approach the school, I feel that I should. I feel like they need to look at their first aid procedures and maybe reflect on this to prevent a much worse outcome next time.

It doesn’t help that a friend of mine lost her little boy recently due to a head injury from him falling over. It’s made me quite conscious of the dangers and I feel quite angry and sick that this could have been a lot worse and no one checked. Her face is quite a mess so it’s bad enough as it is.

AIBU to contact school. If people think I should what would you say?

OP posts:
ThesebeautifulthingsthatIvegot · 17/06/2026 21:56

FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 17/06/2026 21:30

Our policy for any head injury is to contact the parent/carer to arrange for the child to be collected asap.
The school have failed in their duty of care to your child and should absolutely be held accountable.
I'd be fuming.

It's not a reasonable policy to arrange collection for all head injuries.

It is absolutely sensible to have all head injuries assessed by a first wider and if there is any concern about serious injury or possible concussion, for all sports to be stopped, child kept in and parent contacted. OP's child must have taken a serious knock to the head and she believes that adults saw this happen. It's definitely inappropriate that no one assessed her properly.

lessglittermoremud · 17/06/2026 21:57

I would contact the school first thing tomorrow, attaching photos of her black eyes/cut and swollen nose.
Accidents happen but telling a minor to continue with a sporting event, not administer first aid, not contact the parents to give them an option of attending and seeking medical treatment is awful.
You don’t have to kick off and get irate, reassure your daughter that you’re just making contact to make them aware of the severity of the bruising etc
I’d be quietly fuming whilst looking at her poor face, hope the check up goes ok!

Okiedokie123 · 17/06/2026 21:59

Why would you complain to the school about the negligence regarding your daughter’s injury when you yourself have been so slow to seek help regarding it?

SmashThePatriarchy · 17/06/2026 22:02

GoldenPineapple15 · 17/06/2026 19:25

I am a secondary school teacher. You definitely should contact the school . This is not only unacceptable, but could have had an even worse outcome than it did ( which is already terrible .) I can not believe that you were not contacted or first aid given . You don’t mess around with a head injury .

I’m also a secondary school teacher and I agree. This is simply not good enough.

Poppinpoppinpopcorn · 17/06/2026 22:02

Yes complain to school. I wouldn't have wasted anymore time by posting. I would have had her at a&e as soon as I saw her

Baconandonions · 17/06/2026 22:04

Yes, you should definitely raise this with the school and take photographs.

My secondary school age child, got injured during PE, purely by accident and told he was fine, run it off.

He said he was hurt, but also felt a bit embarrassed as it was quite a public accident.

He had two fractured ribs.

BrendaSmall · 17/06/2026 22:05

geekygardener · 17/06/2026 20:01

@MyEasterBonnetthey didn’t give first aid or check her to assess for concussion or to assess how bad it was. Which I have done

There’s always 2 sides to every story!
Maybe speak with the school and see what they say they done to help.

SillyGooseyGander · 17/06/2026 22:06

This is really awful of the school and I would definitely ask for an investigation into how this could happen. They need to review their procedures.

For reference, my teen DD fell during PE recently and landed hard on her face. School phoned me immediately, a teacher met me in the carpark to escort me to the sick bay so I could collect her. Her head of year, the PE teacher and her form tutor all separately emailed me that evening to check on her.

Btw, I took her to minor injuries and they confirmed she broke her nose too and I was told it was the right thing to bring her in. Some broken noses can be left, but if breathing is impacted they'll fix it once the swelling has gone down.

SillyGooseyGander · 17/06/2026 22:07

Keep a photo record in case school try to minimise things and say they weren't aware she was badly hurt - they can't very well claim that when you present them with the photographic evidence.

Nursemumma92 · 17/06/2026 22:07

Nearly50omg · 17/06/2026 20:49

They will xray it and may need to operate on her depending on whether she has broken bones in her face! You are under reacting as much as the neglectful school have! Also from a legal point of view and social services etc too she needs checking in hospital

They don't routinely x ray children's noses- the nasal bones are small and overlap on a 2D image that an x ray provides. OP is not underreacting, she has taken her to minor injuries to be checked and is closely monitoring her.

Sleepbeautifulskeep · 17/06/2026 22:09

BeRoseSloth · 17/06/2026 19:29

I think an injury like that and a headache/dizziness needs checking this evening.

This

Sleepbeautifulskeep · 17/06/2026 22:11

School so negligent

Poppinpoppinpopcorn · 17/06/2026 22:11

Nursemumma92 · 17/06/2026 22:07

They don't routinely x ray children's noses- the nasal bones are small and overlap on a 2D image that an x ray provides. OP is not underreacting, she has taken her to minor injuries to be checked and is closely monitoring her.

But she had time to post this thread before taking her. When my child got injured during pe posting on here or on social media was the very last thing in my mind, the only message I sent was to his grandparents to care for my other kids while I took him.

countrylife00 · 17/06/2026 22:12

Cfcbaz · 17/06/2026 21:54

Yes I would definitely contact the school and complain! I can't believe they didn't even contact you or do an incident form. They have failed their duty of care. Also if she didn't have obvious signs of injury, would your daughter of told you how bad the injury was and then without the school's input you then wouldn't even think to look to for signs of concussion.
You should definitely ask if they completed an incident report and ask about their Safeguarding and first aid policies.
I remember in secondary school I walked into a door as it was closing and banged my head and they made my mum get me and told her she has to take me a&e as it was a head injury and I had a little bump, although I felt fine.
I hope your daughter is feeling OK.

i do feel something went wrong here.
if the injury was not obvious at first, was Sports Day chaotic and were there masses of pupils complaining that they had been injured?
I absolutely hate sports day now. I must have 100 pupils telling me that the feel sick, they are going to faint, that they have pulled a muscle, that they tripped and banged their head or have heat stroke. No one wants to be a first aider and the whole day is a nightmare.
last year a student had an anaphylaxis, one collapsed and I literally cried.
Saying that, I would have sat your child down, given them an ice pack and told them to stay with me…

Attackcats · 17/06/2026 22:20

Bruising around both eyes can be a sign of a basal skull fracture so combined with her other symptoms your daughter should have been in ED hours ago.

Frostynoman · 17/06/2026 22:22

You would be unreasonable if you didn’t raise this with the school.

I hope your daughter recovers soon and I’m so sorry for your friends loss

HB1625 · 17/06/2026 22:22

Just to add to what many others have said, no you are not overreacting and yes you should absolutely contact the school.

In my school, an ice pack would be provided straight away and a phonecall home would have been made, followed by a record of the incident logged on our system. You would have been invited to come in and check on her (I always think what would I want/expect if it was my child and I wouldn't want the shock of seeing her badly bruised/injured and not being told beforehand). We are required to ring home for EVERY head injury, even a minor bump to the chin, for example.

For something as bad as you've described, especially dizziness, headache, nausea, she would be monitored until you'd been in to see her, not left to her own devices. Of course, parents don't HAVE to come in, but at least we will have given you the heads up to make that decision.

As there has been a visit to the hospital, additional paperwork needs to be completed (I think this is sent to the LA).

Hope your daughter is feeling better soon and fingers crossed nothing is broken. Let us know how you get on.

BiteSizedLife · 17/06/2026 22:33

Absolutely wild that the mother's first action is to write a mumsnet thread asking if she shoukd complain to the school....

.... rather than taking the girl to A&E/MIU

Wrong way around, much??

FTMaz · 17/06/2026 22:34

Hello - assistant headteacher safeguarding and behaviour. A head injury by policy should have a phone call home. In this situation I would have insisted parents collect and get her checked out. Very poor practice. Hope she’s okay.

countrylife00 · 17/06/2026 22:35

FTMaz · 17/06/2026 22:34

Hello - assistant headteacher safeguarding and behaviour. A head injury by policy should have a phone call home. In this situation I would have insisted parents collect and get her checked out. Very poor practice. Hope she’s okay.

And that would hopefully be your job.
The first aider would be trying to cope - no phone on the field.

FTMaz · 17/06/2026 22:41

countrylife00 · 17/06/2026 22:35

And that would hopefully be your job.
The first aider would be trying to cope - no phone on the field.

I don’t understand the point of your comment but secondary schools have walkie talkies to communicate throughout the day or staff mobile phones. It would only be senior staff who make decisions about children being sent home, for a serious injury I would expect someone from the senior team to speak directly to the parent yes.

independentfriend · 17/06/2026 22:45

There's a learning thing for your daughter here; teachers will be expecting somebody who is injured and in pain and behaving normally to keep asking for help. That's not right but they have internal models that might recognise somebody behaving bizarrely as having a head injury and miss people in her situation.

If somebody not known to be dramatic looks / reacts in a horrified way to an injury it's worth questioning what they can see and how it differs from what she feels.

Assuming they have mirrors in the loos and the loos are open to use it's a useful general rule to look at your face in a mirror after a head injury to keep track of any swelling/ bruising

There are definitely ways she can protect herself whilst not making a fuss.

If she has the opportunity to learn first aid this would be worth accepting. Cold compresses are usually worth seeking out because they reduce pain.

I think you're going to have to contact the school because they should have better head injury monitoring systems (what do they do with kids who get injured playing rugby?). But think about how to minimise the potential difficulties for your daughter (?talk to the school together, ?email a specific person, ? explicitly say you daughter would rather you weren't contacting them)

BirdsongSunshine · 17/06/2026 22:47

Hope your DD is feeling ok and hope you don’t have too long to wait this evening.

Manxexile · 17/06/2026 22:48

geekygardener · 17/06/2026 19:32

I am going to get her checked. I have asked my mum, who is a nurse, to take a look before we go as well because she is very levelheaded and will tell me if I’m overreacting

Make sure you get a photograph of her injuries before treatment.

Do you have legal expenses cover on your car or house insurance?

MsAmerica · 17/06/2026 23:06

I don't know what you should say, but it's for you to decide - not for your daughter. Children naturally shy away from parental involvement.
I only know that my mother would have stormed in and lunged for someone's throat.