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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would I be unreasonable to complain to school

203 replies

geekygardener · 17/06/2026 19:20

Hello,

Today one of my dc took part in a sports event at school. The event was an all day thing. Dc is in secondary school.

Unfortunately, in the morning, my dc suffered an accident when another child hit her with the equipment. Complete accident and I don’t blame the other person, who did apologise. I also fully understand that accidents do happen, especially when lots of children are doing sport. I am not one to worry unnecessarily and I am not one to complain easily.

When I went to pick dc up from school (an hour and a half after normal time as the event went on past school hours) I immediately noticed she looked completely different. She was getting in the car and it was sunny, so I couldn’t see her closely at first, but it was strange because of how different she looked in her face.
When she was fully in the car I could see that she had two black eyes and pretty bad swelling on her nose and between her eyes. There was/is bruising across her nose and a small cut. It is quite obvious that her nose is broken.

Dc explained what happened. She did tell me she had a headache and felt dizzy all afternoon. Teachers witnessed the incident, which included DDs head being knocked back quite violently, and told her that as they were in the middle of the activity they would see how she was afterwards. Despite this no one did check on dc and no one sought or applied first aid. There was time between activities where other staff were present and no one said or did anything.

Later, dc told a member of staff that she had a headache and felt dizzy and was told “it’s just a bump“ and to carry on with the next sporting activity.
One teacher eventually did offer an ice pack but this was hours later and dd declined (this teacher wasn’t part of the event and saw dd in between the activities and seemed quite shocked upon seeing her face) . Dd is extremely shy and said she felt uncomfortable and bad for the other child so declined the ice pack. I told her I think she should have concentrated on her own well-being rather than worry about others but really staff should have assessed her because lots of people decline treatment after an accident due to shock or adrenaline. Dd said she didn’t want to make a fuss and tried to play it down, which I believe because this is how she is.

No one checked her for concussion or showed any care during or after the incident. No one contacted me to give me the heads up, or even allow me to make a decision to seek medical advice. Dc was left to carry on the day (hours as this happened first thing) despite feeling rubbish. No one did anything as the day went on despite the swelling and bruising becoming more severe.

If I was in charge of a group of children (which I often am) and saw a child with this level of swelling and bruising I would most certainly be concerned, be providing first aid and notifying parents.

Dd does not want me to contact the school. She is embarrassed and says she doesn’t want to cause a fuss as she is fine now.

I am not in the habit of overreacting and making small injuries into something they are not but every time I look at dd I feel sad, sorry for her and furious that no one helped her. Luckily nothing more serious happened but I feel it’s negligent to not consider the possibility when a child suffers a head injury.

Despite dd asking me not to approach the school, I feel that I should. I feel like they need to look at their first aid procedures and maybe reflect on this to prevent a much worse outcome next time.

It doesn’t help that a friend of mine lost her little boy recently due to a head injury from him falling over. It’s made me quite conscious of the dangers and I feel quite angry and sick that this could have been a lot worse and no one checked. Her face is quite a mess so it’s bad enough as it is.

AIBU to contact school. If people think I should what would you say?

OP posts:
Theonethatlurks · 18/06/2026 09:16

@geekygardener how is your daughter? What did they say at the Minor Injury? I hope everything is ok. I would always rather overreact than underreact if it comes to my children.

ImaSpringChicken · 18/06/2026 09:24

Yes. I think the school should have called you, but given the fact that when you did find out you didnt see fit to do anything for hours, i think complaining would be hypocritical!

BringBackCatsEyes · 18/06/2026 09:39

ImaSpringChicken · 18/06/2026 09:24

Yes. I think the school should have called you, but given the fact that when you did find out you didnt see fit to do anything for hours, i think complaining would be hypocritical!

I agree. Maybe they can’t do anything for a broken nose, but a child with a head injury complaining about feeling dizzy…..I’d say that’s pretty urgent.
Minor injuries will likely send a child with a head injury to hospital, at least that was my experience with my teenager and a rugby incident. Small injury but on the head = take no chances.

IdentifyingAsAWoollyMammoth · 18/06/2026 09:48

I was injured at a primary school sports day in 1982 when I was 8 - nothing like this but I got a whack on the forehead and started a bump. I was immediately bundled into a car and taken to the A&E 3 miles away to be checked out while the school contacted my mum. At the A&E I promptly threw up and was diagnosed with concussion (bump was huge by this time).

That's long before health and safety existed the way it does now. Long before soft mats underneath equipment in a play park.

Complain. Strongly.

zingally · 18/06/2026 10:02

Pippa12 · 17/06/2026 19:35

Tbh, if my daughters nose ‘was quite obviously broken’ I would have driven her straight to A&E. I wouldn’t be asking my mum to check on her and I absolutely wouldn’t be posting an essay on here before I got her medical care.

For these reasons I’m leaning to you likely exaggerating/over reacting.

Your care has been no different to what the school has offered- absolutely nothing and it’s 19:30 at night.

Same!

You should have taken her straight to A&E from school if she genuinely looks that bad. If you left it until 7:30 at night, and want your mum to look at her first, she can't look "that" bad.

PJ98 · 18/06/2026 10:47

geekygardener · 17/06/2026 19:32

I am going to get her checked. I have asked my mum, who is a nurse, to take a look before we go as well because she is very levelheaded and will tell me if I’m overreacting

I couldn't imagine underreacting this much 😖

Goditsmemargaret · 18/06/2026 11:38

I would absolutely flip in your shoes. She could have been concussed and fallen on the street.

Tamtim · 18/06/2026 12:29

I’ve fortunately never had to take either of my kids to A&E or minor injuries but I think I would do for this. The school sounds like they’ve been quite seriously negligent. I hope your daughter is doing well and that her nose isn’t broken.

SummerDive · 18/06/2026 13:46

Restlessdreams1994 · 17/06/2026 21:12

OP is correct, a broken nose does not require any immediate treatment unless there is ongoing bleeding. It cannot be properly assessed or treated until the swelling goes down which takes at least a week. A conscious alert child with none of the red flag signs for head injury also does not need to “go to A&E NOW” as some previous posters are advising, nor is OP a neglectful parent for not doing so.

(Doi: A&E doctor)

Edited

You mean dizziness after a shock on the head doesn’t require to be checked??
Thats news to me

Dahliasrule · 18/06/2026 17:01

OP, please tell us if your DD is alright after minor injuries visit.

geekygardener · 18/06/2026 17:57

Sorry I have not been back on. We got back late and so slept in this morning. Then I have been working this afternoon.
She was assessed and they said it’s concussion and to rest.

OP posts:
countrylife00 · 18/06/2026 18:21

FTMaz · 17/06/2026 22:41

I don’t understand the point of your comment but secondary schools have walkie talkies to communicate throughout the day or staff mobile phones. It would only be senior staff who make decisions about children being sent home, for a serious injury I would expect someone from the senior team to speak directly to the parent yes.

Only senior staff making the decision to send children home?
At our school it’s mostly support staff. Welfare, medical, year leaders etc. SLT only get involved if someone is being excluded.

FTMaz · 18/06/2026 18:25

countrylife00 · 18/06/2026 18:21

Only senior staff making the decision to send children home?
At our school it’s mostly support staff. Welfare, medical, year leaders etc. SLT only get involved if someone is being excluded.

Depends on the policy of the school. I personally feel that it needs to be signed off by SLT as if there is any come back it comes to the right person

Dahliasrule · 18/06/2026 18:56

Thanks for letting us know. So pleased it is nothing worse though still awful for your child to suffer and the way it was treated was appalling.

CousinBette · 18/06/2026 19:50

Concussion?! Even more reason to complain to the school. What did they say about her nose?

countrylife00 · 18/06/2026 21:27

FTMaz · 18/06/2026 18:25

Depends on the policy of the school. I personally feel that it needs to be signed off by SLT as if there is any come back it comes to the right person

I run a busy medical room.
i am qualified nurse and see 50 - 60 pupils a day.
i am far better qualified to decide whether a student needs to go home. None of our SLT are medically trained.
if I had to contact them, they would be in my room nearly all day. Our SLT are extremely busy.

FTMaz · 18/06/2026 21:43

countrylife00 · 18/06/2026 21:27

I run a busy medical room.
i am qualified nurse and see 50 - 60 pupils a day.
i am far better qualified to decide whether a student needs to go home. None of our SLT are medically trained.
if I had to contact them, they would be in my room nearly all day. Our SLT are extremely busy.

Like I said it’s whatever works for the school and who they want making that decision. For me it’s not about whether you are qualified it’s about accountability. I’d be concerned if my schools medical room had that many visits per day if I’m honest.

ScaredButUnavoidable · 18/06/2026 22:13

FTMaz · 18/06/2026 21:43

Like I said it’s whatever works for the school and who they want making that decision. For me it’s not about whether you are qualified it’s about accountability. I’d be concerned if my schools medical room had that many visits per day if I’m honest.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

This made me laugh!!

I bet some quiet paediatric A&E departments don’t even see 60 children a day.

I’m also very interested to know what’s going on at this school that means up to 60 kids need to see the nurse each day 🤣

FTMaz · 18/06/2026 22:50

ScaredButUnavoidable · 18/06/2026 22:13

🤣🤣🤣🤣

This made me laugh!!

I bet some quiet paediatric A&E departments don’t even see 60 children a day.

I’m also very interested to know what’s going on at this school that means up to 60 kids need to see the nurse each day 🤣

I was trying to be polite but yes I agree. Largely I expect it’s become a convenient way to avoid a boring lesson and in this case…get sent home! which the kids have figured out isn’t being monitored by anyone. Hence my original point….get the SLT member who oversees attendance to monitor it that will soon stop 😂

countrylife00 · 18/06/2026 22:54

FTMaz · 18/06/2026 22:50

I was trying to be polite but yes I agree. Largely I expect it’s become a convenient way to avoid a boring lesson and in this case…get sent home! which the kids have figured out isn’t being monitored by anyone. Hence my original point….get the SLT member who oversees attendance to monitor it that will soon stop 😂

It doesn’t stop.
i know the kids better than anyone.
So the majority of course, do not get sent home.
When I started in this job I saw a max of 20 a day, but since Covid, it’s getting out of hand….
Our SLT all teach and have loads of responsibilities
It won’t stop until parents start parenting.

countrylife00 · 18/06/2026 22:57

ScaredButUnavoidable · 18/06/2026 22:13

🤣🤣🤣🤣

This made me laugh!!

I bet some quiet paediatric A&E departments don’t even see 60 children a day.

I’m also very interested to know what’s going on at this school that means up to 60 kids need to see the nurse each day 🤣

I often tell parents I see more people than our local NHS MIU, with about 20 NHS staff.
Parents send their kids in and say ‘ if you don’t feel great, go to Medical’.
They are queuing at 8am….

FTMaz · 18/06/2026 22:57

countrylife00 · 18/06/2026 22:54

It doesn’t stop.
i know the kids better than anyone.
So the majority of course, do not get sent home.
When I started in this job I saw a max of 20 a day, but since Covid, it’s getting out of hand….
Our SLT all teach and have loads of responsibilities
It won’t stop until parents start parenting.

its actually quite simple to tackle it you need an electronic medical book on excel, planned checks filter by name, see what kids are constantly coming down to medical and make a plan. I’m not blaming you, leadership need to do something. Everyone has lots of responsibility - so someone’s must be lesson attendance!

countrylife00 · 18/06/2026 23:02

FTMaz · 18/06/2026 22:57

its actually quite simple to tackle it you need an electronic medical book on excel, planned checks filter by name, see what kids are constantly coming down to medical and make a plan. I’m not blaming you, leadership need to do something. Everyone has lots of responsibility - so someone’s must be lesson attendance!

I literally don’t have time now to put students on the database.
we are an outstanding school!
All The local hospitals are now recommending students with severe medical needs come to us, because we have the facilities.
But it’s getting out of hand and I am exhausted.
Working in the NHS was a holiday in comparison….

Cycleaway · Yesterday 07:43

geekygardener · 18/06/2026 17:57

Sorry I have not been back on. We got back late and so slept in this morning. Then I have been working this afternoon.
She was assessed and they said it’s concussion and to rest.

Oh gosh, hope that she’s feeling a bit better today.

if you haven’t already, I definitely think this needs to be flagged up with school - the outcome could have been very different, and ultimately, even though there was a lot going on, they were also a pretty blasé about a potential head injury

TheyGrewUp · Yesterday 07:53

How big's the school, if 60 children go to the nurse every day?

I agree with the Excel Medical book.

Are many of the children attending due to MH issues? If so, is there no school councillor.