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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would I be unreasonable to complain to school

203 replies

geekygardener · 17/06/2026 19:20

Hello,

Today one of my dc took part in a sports event at school. The event was an all day thing. Dc is in secondary school.

Unfortunately, in the morning, my dc suffered an accident when another child hit her with the equipment. Complete accident and I don’t blame the other person, who did apologise. I also fully understand that accidents do happen, especially when lots of children are doing sport. I am not one to worry unnecessarily and I am not one to complain easily.

When I went to pick dc up from school (an hour and a half after normal time as the event went on past school hours) I immediately noticed she looked completely different. She was getting in the car and it was sunny, so I couldn’t see her closely at first, but it was strange because of how different she looked in her face.
When she was fully in the car I could see that she had two black eyes and pretty bad swelling on her nose and between her eyes. There was/is bruising across her nose and a small cut. It is quite obvious that her nose is broken.

Dc explained what happened. She did tell me she had a headache and felt dizzy all afternoon. Teachers witnessed the incident, which included DDs head being knocked back quite violently, and told her that as they were in the middle of the activity they would see how she was afterwards. Despite this no one did check on dc and no one sought or applied first aid. There was time between activities where other staff were present and no one said or did anything.

Later, dc told a member of staff that she had a headache and felt dizzy and was told “it’s just a bump“ and to carry on with the next sporting activity.
One teacher eventually did offer an ice pack but this was hours later and dd declined (this teacher wasn’t part of the event and saw dd in between the activities and seemed quite shocked upon seeing her face) . Dd is extremely shy and said she felt uncomfortable and bad for the other child so declined the ice pack. I told her I think she should have concentrated on her own well-being rather than worry about others but really staff should have assessed her because lots of people decline treatment after an accident due to shock or adrenaline. Dd said she didn’t want to make a fuss and tried to play it down, which I believe because this is how she is.

No one checked her for concussion or showed any care during or after the incident. No one contacted me to give me the heads up, or even allow me to make a decision to seek medical advice. Dc was left to carry on the day (hours as this happened first thing) despite feeling rubbish. No one did anything as the day went on despite the swelling and bruising becoming more severe.

If I was in charge of a group of children (which I often am) and saw a child with this level of swelling and bruising I would most certainly be concerned, be providing first aid and notifying parents.

Dd does not want me to contact the school. She is embarrassed and says she doesn’t want to cause a fuss as she is fine now.

I am not in the habit of overreacting and making small injuries into something they are not but every time I look at dd I feel sad, sorry for her and furious that no one helped her. Luckily nothing more serious happened but I feel it’s negligent to not consider the possibility when a child suffers a head injury.

Despite dd asking me not to approach the school, I feel that I should. I feel like they need to look at their first aid procedures and maybe reflect on this to prevent a much worse outcome next time.

It doesn’t help that a friend of mine lost her little boy recently due to a head injury from him falling over. It’s made me quite conscious of the dangers and I feel quite angry and sick that this could have been a lot worse and no one checked. Her face is quite a mess so it’s bad enough as it is.

AIBU to contact school. If people think I should what would you say?

OP posts:
Notyouagaindear · 17/06/2026 20:04

I think many of us are concerned due to the mention of 2 black eyes - in case it’s the “raccoon” sign. Apologies if I missed it but I wasn’t sure if she had also hit the back of her head after being struck eg if she fell to the ground.

concertinacornflake · 17/06/2026 20:04

Yes definitely complain, that is very negligent of the school.

Ask to see the entry in the accident book.

Hope she checks out ok.

concertinacornflake · 17/06/2026 20:05

MyEasterBonnet · 17/06/2026 19:53

So what’s your complaint against the school?

That they didn't get her checked, that they didn't administer appropriate first aid, that they didn't alert parents.

BauhausOfEliott · 17/06/2026 20:08

Pippa12 · 17/06/2026 19:52

I’m also a very experienced nurse. Both you and your mum are very wrong about this.

Poor kid.

I was hit in the face and had two black eyes a few years ago and was told very clearly that there wasn’t anything they could do in A&E. I had to wait a few days for the swelling to go down before they could assess the damage and decide whether I’d need surgery further down the line. It wasn’t considered an emergency.

Pippa12 · 17/06/2026 20:09

BauhausOfEliott · 17/06/2026 20:08

I was hit in the face and had two black eyes a few years ago and was told very clearly that there wasn’t anything they could do in A&E. I had to wait a few days for the swelling to go down before they could assess the damage and decide whether I’d need surgery further down the line. It wasn’t considered an emergency.

Depends of the type of break, sometimes you need ABXs.

MyEasterBonnet · 17/06/2026 20:09

concertinacornflake · 17/06/2026 20:05

That they didn't get her checked, that they didn't administer appropriate first aid, that they didn't alert parents.

But OP has said she’s acting her usual self, chatting to her friends etc and so hasn’t rushed to get her checked over, yet it sounds like the school have thought the same.

Watchoutfortheslowaraf · 17/06/2026 20:11

It’s awful that school haven’t notified you about the incident. They should have notified you right away and you should have sought medical attention much quicker than you are doing with it being a head injury that’s caused black eyes. I hope it’s nothing serious when you do get her seen and her nose isn’t broken. I would definitely complain to the school.

ThesebeautifulthingsthatIvegot · 17/06/2026 20:11

Notyouagaindear · 17/06/2026 20:04

I think many of us are concerned due to the mention of 2 black eyes - in case it’s the “raccoon” sign. Apologies if I missed it but I wasn’t sure if she had also hit the back of her head after being struck eg if she fell to the ground.

Agreed.

OP, no one mentioned an ambulance. A&E is not "only for life and death."

Minor injuries is the correct course of action as it is available, but in many places A&E is the option.

It's sad that she had all day in school with what must be significant pain. You should ask school why first aid was not given and why you were not contacted. If there isn't a satisfactory answer, you would be fair to escalate.

But you were also wrong to prolong the time she waited to get an appropriate evaluation, unless you are excagerating the injury.

I hope she got painkillers as soon as she got home.

RVectensian · 17/06/2026 20:12

When I broke my nose (twice) as a teen it was x-rayed and then splinted with a funny little paster cast.

Do they not do that any more?

Trishthedish · 17/06/2026 20:13

As a former school nurse you should definitely complain. I would also insist on seeing the accident report. This is negligence and the PE dept must do better. I hope your daughter is better soon. Also please photograph her injuries.

itsgettingweird · 17/06/2026 20:14

geekygardener · 17/06/2026 19:42

It’s not an emergency. She is acting her normal self, eating, drinking, chatting to her friends, moving around as normal, can breath ok. She is fine to wait an hour and not be rushed to A and E, where she will likely sit there for hours and hours. If she was showing serious signs of severe concussion or losing consciousness then yes. A and E is for acute medical emergencies which are life and death.

As much as o agree about him wanting to complain.

You can’t really complain they left her all day and didn’t respond if you are then refusing to get her checked asap.

Admittedly as a first aider in a school I would have rang. I would have informed Iona he was refusing Annie pack and of the injury. I would have informed you of o saw any symptoms from the nhs head injury list I would contact you back to take her to be checked or we would take her/ call an ambulance if needed.

However you can’t really complain a school didn’t do what you aren’t doing yourself. They waited as didn’t deem it urgent - as are you.

Pippa12 · 17/06/2026 20:15

Your question was are you over reacting- it sounds like your daughter is essentially absolutely fine, behaving completely normally. This is probably the assessment school have made when watching her. They didn’t feel she needed immediate medical attention which seems to be the same conclusion you have come to. The racoon eyes comparison and sickness/ dizziness seem to not be bothering her or you now or you would be concerned about concussion- so this all seems a lot of hot air over nothing.

I don’t think you need to complain to school and it sounds like you like to exaggerate and likely on the blower to them multiple times a year.

itsgettingweird · 17/06/2026 20:16

geekygardener · 17/06/2026 20:01

@MyEasterBonnetthey didn’t give first aid or check her to assess for concussion or to assess how bad it was. Which I have done

They offered an ice pack - that is first aid for head bumps.

Mayne they did assess her and came to the same conclusion as you? Especially as your own DD admits she played it down.

I do think they should have rang you - I’d complain about that.

But nothing else seems like they make any different decisions as you have.

RVectensian · 17/06/2026 20:17

Like this. Height of summer as well. Loved that at 14, or 15 or whatever I was.

Would I be unreasonable to complain to school
Stressedoutmummyof3 · 17/06/2026 20:18

JustAnotherWhinger · 17/06/2026 19:53

The headache and dizziness from a head injury means she should be at A&E now.

The school have been utterly neglectful and I absolutely would speak to them about it, but you also shouldn’t have her sat at home eating instead of at A&E.

So why are you angry with the school then? They didn't get her any medical attention but you also waited hours to get her any attention.
I can't understand why you didn't take her straight to A&E or minor injuries. I don't think you can be angry with the school when you behaved the same way.

ehb102 · 17/06/2026 20:19

The thing I am absolutely disgusted about is that they saw she had a blow to the head and then continued to expect her to participate in sport without a proper assessment. That could have made a minor injury much worse.

Reisscon · 17/06/2026 20:20

I work in a secondary school, and I am also a first aider.
Absolutely your daughter should have been seen straight away.
Any head injuries, the student should be collected by parent/carer to get checked.

stichguru · 17/06/2026 20:22

OP you are not over reacting. The school are miles into the wrong here. Report tomorrow to school and ask to talk to the safeguarding lead. All the teachers and first aiders who saw your daughter/the incident need to be in serious trouble, or at least be retrained on basic first aid care. Their neglect of your child's injuries shows utter incompetence.

JustAnotherWhinger · 17/06/2026 20:23

Stressedoutmummyof3 · 17/06/2026 20:18

So why are you angry with the school then? They didn't get her any medical attention but you also waited hours to get her any attention.
I can't understand why you didn't take her straight to A&E or minor injuries. I don't think you can be angry with the school when you behaved the same way.

I’m not the OP…

MixedFeelingsNoFeelings · 17/06/2026 20:23

I don't know if there's a difference, medically, between being hit in the face and being hit on the head/skull. An adult friend of mine was accidentally hit on the head months ago and still has episodes of headache and confusion. Whereas a friend who got a black eye from a hockey ball was basically fine.

With a child, surely it's common sense to check out any injury to the head. Especially now that we know so much more about the serious effects of concussion from football, rugby, boxing etc. Would the school have reacted the same way if the injury had happened to a boy on the playing field I wonder.

geekygardener · 17/06/2026 20:30

Come on ! It’s a bit different her being at home on the sofa, after having paracetamol and with me keeping a close eye on her, and having checked her over multiple times and asking her relevant questions to see if she needs a and e: as opposed to being in school all day, continuing sports, including rock climbing, and no one even asking her if she is in pain, or keeping a close eye on her as she was in a group of children all doing various activities, and being left to walk home alone (I picked up but they didn’t know that). She was offered an ice pack but this was hours after and by a member of staff not involved in the event. This member of staff was shocked upon seeing dd and had not been informed of her injuries by staff. No one even looked at her face to face after the incident to see if she was badly injured. You must see how different that is to me allowing her to sit at home for an hour before seeking medical advice.

OP posts:
CousinBette · 17/06/2026 20:31

I really hope she’s got proper medical attention. That nose might need resetting. If it’s done now, your dd won’t need surgery later. (And surgery is often unsuccessful).

Let the doctors investigate and decide. The swelling will hide any displacement at the moment. Ask me how I know!!! Don’t make the mistake I did!

PreachyPie · 17/06/2026 20:32

Chair of govs here.
Please raise this with school, this is totally unacceptable.

Livingthebestlife · 17/06/2026 20:33

The school should have contacted you.

Your dd should have received medical attention. The head and face are so delicate.

Injuries to the head can sometimes take hours to become much worse.

A headache means pain inside the head, we only get pain to tell us something is wrong. Dizziness is quite serious too.

It's not always about what they can do to fix the look of her face, it's more to find out what's going on inside the head.

She'll hopefully be ok.

Octavia64 · 17/06/2026 20:34

She needs medical attention to be checked over for head injury.,

yes you need to contact school but the medical attention is far more important.