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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would I be unreasonable to complain to school

203 replies

geekygardener · 17/06/2026 19:20

Hello,

Today one of my dc took part in a sports event at school. The event was an all day thing. Dc is in secondary school.

Unfortunately, in the morning, my dc suffered an accident when another child hit her with the equipment. Complete accident and I don’t blame the other person, who did apologise. I also fully understand that accidents do happen, especially when lots of children are doing sport. I am not one to worry unnecessarily and I am not one to complain easily.

When I went to pick dc up from school (an hour and a half after normal time as the event went on past school hours) I immediately noticed she looked completely different. She was getting in the car and it was sunny, so I couldn’t see her closely at first, but it was strange because of how different she looked in her face.
When she was fully in the car I could see that she had two black eyes and pretty bad swelling on her nose and between her eyes. There was/is bruising across her nose and a small cut. It is quite obvious that her nose is broken.

Dc explained what happened. She did tell me she had a headache and felt dizzy all afternoon. Teachers witnessed the incident, which included DDs head being knocked back quite violently, and told her that as they were in the middle of the activity they would see how she was afterwards. Despite this no one did check on dc and no one sought or applied first aid. There was time between activities where other staff were present and no one said or did anything.

Later, dc told a member of staff that she had a headache and felt dizzy and was told “it’s just a bump“ and to carry on with the next sporting activity.
One teacher eventually did offer an ice pack but this was hours later and dd declined (this teacher wasn’t part of the event and saw dd in between the activities and seemed quite shocked upon seeing her face) . Dd is extremely shy and said she felt uncomfortable and bad for the other child so declined the ice pack. I told her I think she should have concentrated on her own well-being rather than worry about others but really staff should have assessed her because lots of people decline treatment after an accident due to shock or adrenaline. Dd said she didn’t want to make a fuss and tried to play it down, which I believe because this is how she is.

No one checked her for concussion or showed any care during or after the incident. No one contacted me to give me the heads up, or even allow me to make a decision to seek medical advice. Dc was left to carry on the day (hours as this happened first thing) despite feeling rubbish. No one did anything as the day went on despite the swelling and bruising becoming more severe.

If I was in charge of a group of children (which I often am) and saw a child with this level of swelling and bruising I would most certainly be concerned, be providing first aid and notifying parents.

Dd does not want me to contact the school. She is embarrassed and says she doesn’t want to cause a fuss as she is fine now.

I am not in the habit of overreacting and making small injuries into something they are not but every time I look at dd I feel sad, sorry for her and furious that no one helped her. Luckily nothing more serious happened but I feel it’s negligent to not consider the possibility when a child suffers a head injury.

Despite dd asking me not to approach the school, I feel that I should. I feel like they need to look at their first aid procedures and maybe reflect on this to prevent a much worse outcome next time.

It doesn’t help that a friend of mine lost her little boy recently due to a head injury from him falling over. It’s made me quite conscious of the dangers and I feel quite angry and sick that this could have been a lot worse and no one checked. Her face is quite a mess so it’s bad enough as it is.

AIBU to contact school. If people think I should what would you say?

OP posts:
CaesarAugusta · 17/06/2026 23:29

geekygardener · 17/06/2026 19:49

Do people realise that they don’t do anything for a broken nose anyway. The advice is to treat it at home and seek medical attention if it is not better in 3 weeks.

Obviously I am taking her due to the head injury and headache but a broken nose itself is not an emergency

Not in my experience. When I broke my nose, they made an appointment for me to go back the following week after the swelling had died down, where they discovered I had a deviated septum and did a minor operation to move it back before it set out of place.

CaesarAugusta · 17/06/2026 23:32

You absolutely should complain, OP. I hope you took some photos of her when she came out of school?

Snaletrale · 17/06/2026 23:40

I’d do it in a “for your information” way, rather than complaining per se. And ask them to amend policies to ensure it doesn’t happen again as the next outcome might not be so positive.

LeopardPants · 17/06/2026 23:41

geekygardener · 17/06/2026 19:49

Do people realise that they don’t do anything for a broken nose anyway. The advice is to treat it at home and seek medical attention if it is not better in 3 weeks.

Obviously I am taking her due to the head injury and headache but a broken nose itself is not an emergency

Not true. Broke mine a few years ago - went to A&E as you do (well not you, but I did) and it was surgically reset within days. If it is broken and needs resetting, then needs seeing to asap. Also your posts are weird - initially mad that school did nothing. And then incredulous that everyone pointing out you’re also doing nothing! Strange.

Hankunamatata · 17/06/2026 23:43

Usually ours would have been sent straight to the nurse.

Does school have a nurse?

SecretSquirrelSect · 17/06/2026 23:47

Restlessdreams1994 · 17/06/2026 21:12

OP is correct, a broken nose does not require any immediate treatment unless there is ongoing bleeding. It cannot be properly assessed or treated until the swelling goes down which takes at least a week. A conscious alert child with none of the red flag signs for head injury also does not need to “go to A&E NOW” as some previous posters are advising, nor is OP a neglectful parent for not doing so.

(Doi: A&E doctor)

Edited

But bilateral black eyes following a blow to the head, does require an ED assessment.

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/black-eye/

nhs.uk

Black eye

Find out more about a black eye, which is bruising and swelling around your eye, usually caused by a blow.

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/black-eye

PlayingDevilsAdvocateisinteresting · 17/06/2026 23:52

MyEasterBonnet · 17/06/2026 19:41

Are you not doing the same thing that the school did, by not taking her for medical attention?

Absolutely this ^^

I can't believe that @geekygardener has just ignored it the same way as the school did!

CrispySquid · 17/06/2026 23:56

Yes I absolutely would complain. The School failed in duty of care here.

CyanMaker · 18/06/2026 00:33

When I was a teacher, parents were always notified right away even for minor injuries. The staff at that school were unbelievably negligent regarding caring for your daughter.

CyanMaker · 18/06/2026 00:39

Did I miss something? You had written that you picked your daughter up late after school hours and then later wrote that the school let her walk home alone.

MrMucker · 18/06/2026 02:18

I'm not quite on your side op, with all your shouldve but didn't, because you're making such a huge deal about it, but even if they had done things the way you d have expected, the outcome would be no different. A broken nose.
It's not as if it has been worse broken because of a lack of attention.
If you're going to complain then you should be looking at an outcome from them, and what outcome are you expecting? That they magic away your daughter's injury? If you're truly bothered about their procedures then share your concerns and request they review procedures, but an actual complaint? Plus a nice long thread about it from you, rather than just contacting them.

God,iI really wish people would stop complaining about schools.

PlayingDevilsAdvocateisinteresting · 18/06/2026 04:06

Restlessdreams1994 · 17/06/2026 21:12

OP is correct, a broken nose does not require any immediate treatment unless there is ongoing bleeding. It cannot be properly assessed or treated until the swelling goes down which takes at least a week. A conscious alert child with none of the red flag signs for head injury also does not need to “go to A&E NOW” as some previous posters are advising, nor is OP a neglectful parent for not doing so.

(Doi: A&E doctor)

Edited

Sorry to disagree with you @Restlessdreams1994, but would you mind telling me what hospital you are an A&E doctor in please, so that I can avoid it like the - Covid 19!

For a start, they can x-ray her nose with a very small dose of radiation, as used frequently at the dentists.

A broken nose gives the risk - however small - of a shard of bone piercing through to her brain, so any nose injuries definitely need to be checked ASAP after the damage.

As to your statement saying:

"A conscious alert child with none of the red flag signs for head injury also does not need to “go to A&E NOW”..."

From the OP's OP:

"Later, dc told a member of staff that she had a headache and felt dizzy....."

So, Restlessdreams 1994, aka A&E doctor, you don't think that a headache and dizziness could possibly be two red flag signs of a head injury? Well, I would not be able to ignore those two potential signs that the OP's child had developed during the day, and if that was my child, or even if it was someone elses child, I would get them to an A&E department as quickly as I safely could!

I am going to insert another one of the OP's paragraphs underneath this one, as a way to finish my far too long post. It is one that I screenshot earlier, as it explains how horrible the poor girls injuries look and sound.

"... her nose is very swollen at the top. She looks like one of the aliens from avatar if that makes sense, it’s the best way to describe it. There is no shape to it, it’s just fat. The natural curve in between/just below her eyes is flat and swollen. Plus she has two black eyes and that whole area is bruised ......"

NonViolentProtest · 18/06/2026 04:52

I'm a school first aider and I would absolutely complain to the school. A head injury should be dealt with very carefully and informing parents about how it happened and what warning signs to watch out for is the bare minimum your child's school should be doing. A primary school left a student to die of an asthma attack by sitting them alone outside a classroom. It's very important that all staff at school know what to do if a child is injured or ill.

ItsNotMeEither · 18/06/2026 05:33

Another teacher here and I would absolutely be in touch with the school over this.

I do wonder if your daughter and her friend were perhaps mucking around with the equipment and that's why she doesn't want you to contact the school. Even the most sensible kids can sometimes do silly things on days like this. All kids would downplay this.

That aside though, the school is leaving themselves wide open to issues by not following some sort of head injury protocol. Where I am, even if your DD said she was fine, we would be giving a parent a call. Head injuries are tricky, any damage can't always be easily seen. We call parents for even a minor head injury, explain what has happened and get the parent to decide whether to collect their child or not (unless it's obvious that immediate medical attention is required). The parent can even speak to their child if they want to. It also means that even if a child is 'fine' at the time, then the parent is already aware of what has happened in case anything changes at home later.

Sweetstreams · 18/06/2026 05:41

The school staff involved showed a real lack of care. I don’t think the circumstances of the injury matter how it happened. It seems the sporting event took priority over a head injury. If you sent her to school with two black eyes that occurred at home I bet their safeguarding alarm bells would be ringing. I would definitely complain, they should have notified you also.

steff13 · 18/06/2026 06:18

VIII · 17/06/2026 19:51

My friend broke her nose she needed surgery. I'm going to be blunt here but you sound ridiculous.

You're obviously not taking her for the head injury or you would have taken her already. Your poor daughter.

I have a friend who got a broken nose as a child and her parents didn't seek medical attention. Her nose looks awful.

Whatafustercluck · 18/06/2026 06:48

MrMucker · 18/06/2026 02:18

I'm not quite on your side op, with all your shouldve but didn't, because you're making such a huge deal about it, but even if they had done things the way you d have expected, the outcome would be no different. A broken nose.
It's not as if it has been worse broken because of a lack of attention.
If you're going to complain then you should be looking at an outcome from them, and what outcome are you expecting? That they magic away your daughter's injury? If you're truly bothered about their procedures then share your concerns and request they review procedures, but an actual complaint? Plus a nice long thread about it from you, rather than just contacting them.

God,iI really wish people would stop complaining about schools.

There's complaining about schools because little Jimmy got a detention for, say, his relatively small part in a big incident, and then there's complaining to school because of their failure to act on a pretty horrific head injury. Can't you see the difference? This isn't just about a broken nose, though that is bad enough.

BusyMum47 · 18/06/2026 06:57

Jesus, that’s all kinds of wrong! I’m a Primary School Teacher & we have a head injury protocol which involves all kinds of care, monitoring & parental contact etc for the mildest of bumps, let alone the kind of injury that you described! Horrific failure of duty of care. 100% complain. ASAP.

Ethelspagetti · 18/06/2026 07:05

Yes absolutely you should complain. Take photographs and attach them. That’s awful as first aid should be given. They acknowledged it happened but no injury assessment?! I would report it to the governors too.

ScaredButUnavoidable · 18/06/2026 07:39

You should complain they didn’t call you, absolutely.

I wouldn’t focus on the fact they didn’t seek out medical attention though because neither did you. If you were that concerned you would have gone straight to minor injuries when you first collected your daughter and that will 100% be their defence. Your reaction to the severity of her injuries was no different to theirs.

Anon501178 · 18/06/2026 07:59

Can't believe you're even asking on here if you should complain to the school after such shocking conduct....and asking your mum if you're 'overreacting' to get her medical attention when she has two black eyes!!
Come on OP stand up for her rights, get some fire in your belly and protect your child....no wonder she was scared of asserting herself when in pain and worrying about the impact on others, she is clearly copying your 'don't make a fuss and don't complain' people pleasing attitude.
I think you need to really lay into the school, in front of her, so she starts to see you advocating for her, then maybe might have the confidence to believe her needs actually matter!
And A&E is not for 'life threatening emergencies' that's 999.

RVectensian · 18/06/2026 08:01

LeopardPants · 17/06/2026 23:41

Not true. Broke mine a few years ago - went to A&E as you do (well not you, but I did) and it was surgically reset within days. If it is broken and needs resetting, then needs seeing to asap. Also your posts are weird - initially mad that school did nothing. And then incredulous that everyone pointing out you’re also doing nothing! Strange.

Agreed. I mean, it was 30 years ago I broke mine a few times and each time it was seen to.

Blueberrybonanza · 18/06/2026 08:25

I wonder if minor injuries sent them to A&E anyway and thats why OP has not been back to update yet

CaesarAugusta · 18/06/2026 08:39

MrMucker · 18/06/2026 02:18

I'm not quite on your side op, with all your shouldve but didn't, because you're making such a huge deal about it, but even if they had done things the way you d have expected, the outcome would be no different. A broken nose.
It's not as if it has been worse broken because of a lack of attention.
If you're going to complain then you should be looking at an outcome from them, and what outcome are you expecting? That they magic away your daughter's injury? If you're truly bothered about their procedures then share your concerns and request they review procedures, but an actual complaint? Plus a nice long thread about it from you, rather than just contacting them.

God,iI really wish people would stop complaining about schools.

The point is, though, that this is not just a broken nose, is it? There was a head injury with clear signs of concussion, and ignoring.a head injury with those signs is always a clear no-no.

Why should schools be immune from complaint if they fuck up?

Poppinpoppinpopcorn · 18/06/2026 08:51

School should have called parents and been seen by a first aider. Parent should not have posted before getting urgent medical care. Both where in the wrong. The last thing on my mind when I have an injured child is posting online🙄 care for the child, get care, don't try to get sympathy online, it's not about you.