Refusing to drive on a motorway/long distance in a Fiat 500?

[CheeseSandwich1]

What the title says really!

DC’s Dad and I aren’t together. He moved 30 minutes away and now lives in the countryside.
He expects me to drive to his new home but it’s very hilly and is in the arse end of nowhere, I really don’t feel comfortable driving there in my small car. For reference his own Mum also won’t drive there in her small car.

I also really don’t like motorway driving in my car as I feel nervous as it’s so small and I have to put my youngest in the front seat rear facing. This means anywhere the children need to go that includes motorway driving DC’s Dad has to take them.

I can’t afford to upgrade my car at the moment.

DC’s Dad thinks I’m being unreasonable about driving but he has a huge car (I would feel safe if I had his car as the children are all in proper car seats in the middle of back of the car).

AIBU?

I think the OP has a valid point, a motorway crash might be at 70mph hitting a larger car/van/lorry at that speed is far worse than a crash at 40/50 on a rural A road. A Fiat 500 might have passed its safety tests but i wouldn't like to hit a larger vehicle at speed in one. Besides if the ex choose to move away he should do the pickups.

Pickups?

She’s driving them to school near him as she’s fraudulently used his address to get them into a school there.

She's used their father's address, which is also their home (or should be), regardless of who has physical custody. It's not like she used a friend's address. If we're going to use the term 'fraud' it's definitely at the very minor end and not like raiding a pension fund!

Cars all pass safety standards but it's disingenuous to think that all cars are equal when it comes to who would emerge better from a crash.

I drive a 20 year old car (had v low mileage so in many ways it's younger than a newer car). It's automatic and doesn't really like the camber of some roads, but it's passed its MOT and is roadworthy. Would I like to drive it regularly on a busy motorway? Not really. Would I feel safer in a Range Rover? Hell yes!

All cars are not created equally, when it comes to safety. At the very least, a car with back doors is going to be quicker to get the kids out of in the even of an accident.

Edited to add - if children are 50/50 time split between homes either address can be used on application. Not sure what situation here is but doesn’t sound like this to me. My SC used our address for school applications as the high schools were in the area where they had also attended primary and it was Mum who moved into a different area

OP if you have genuinely put your kids school application through for a school in your ex-DPs area then not only is this fraud but you will either a) have to do this drive daily or b) have to have child live over there

On a further note - from experience - I had both of my children in a school over half an hour away when I split with DP and moved back into my old house (which had been rented out). The school run each day was nothing short of a nightmare. With morning traffic the commute was up to an hour, the only saving grace was that I also worked near to that area too. But if it was just for the school then it would be a huge no. Worst still were days I was WFH and I’d say it was around 2-3 hours driving for cover pick up and drop offs

If you think your kids are going to stress you out doing the occasional trip there, imagine it daily. My car became a mobile snack unit/skip with various snacks and absolutely anything and everything kids could need during the day because the sheer horror of forgetting something was a nightmare - and yes I forgot non uniform one day which also included a detour to Tesco to buy and entire outfit for my daughter

You need to start thinking long term

Surely the simple solution is to sell the fiat and buy something bigger from the proceeds.

Or just keep driving it, because there's nothing wrong with it.

Well that's helpful, isn't it?

If he's earni f well then surely he is paying a chunk in child maintenance. You really shouldn't be on the bones of your arse with a well off ex.

A Fiat 500 is no more likely to roll over than any other car, and would need to be driven spectacularly badly for it to happen.

@Tedsnan1you might be on the bones of your arse if he pays himself min wage through his company but takes a large dividend later. Rich men who are arsehokes can find plenty of ways to dodge proper child support if do inclined. Esp if the aren't married to the mother of their dc.

A small car is easier in so many ways, easier for other cars to move round, easier for you to squeeze through gaps in queuing traffic, easier to get round tight corners and sharp bends, easier to etc etc. If it's a smaller less powerful engine you're also less likely Worst case scenario if there's a pile up and everyone is screeching to a halt you're also easier to swerve around and not get a car in your arse.

Right now you're being unreasonable. It's your confidence that's the issue, not the size of car. It's only 30 minutes, it's over before you know it. Maybe you could gets some Pass Plus driving lessons or go on a refresher course in your new car?

Yeah but buying a different one surely would stop the neurotics lol.

Mind you if I was given a fiat 500 id soon sell the ring , think they are pig ugly

Pretty sure there were stories of Fiat 500s toppling over on large hills. Saw one almost tip into a ditch at a crossing point on a country lane.

Unlikely!

Exactly, if a car tips into a ditch it's because it's being driven badly, whatever it is.

They were literally built for the alps.