Refusing to drive on a motorway/long distance in a Fiat 500?

[CheeseSandwich1]

What the title says really!

DC’s Dad and I aren’t together. He moved 30 minutes away and now lives in the countryside.
He expects me to drive to his new home but it’s very hilly and is in the arse end of nowhere, I really don’t feel comfortable driving there in my small car. For reference his own Mum also won’t drive there in her small car.

I also really don’t like motorway driving in my car as I feel nervous as it’s so small and I have to put my youngest in the front seat rear facing. This means anywhere the children need to go that includes motorway driving DC’s Dad has to take them.

I can’t afford to upgrade my car at the moment.

DC’s Dad thinks I’m being unreasonable about driving but he has a huge car (I would feel safe if I had his car as the children are all in proper car seats in the middle of back of the car).

AIBU?

I replied to the original question......did i read all posts. I did not.....thank you so very much for pointing out my lack of thought.

So why is she complaining then? If the kids are closer to him. Why isn't he picking them up from school dropping them off then she picks them up and drops them in her visiting times. I had the impression she was doing all the travelling......from the original post....I don't like drip feeding. Get to the point.

To be fair a Defender is probably a terrible car to be in on a motorway, as it’s more likely than most brands to break down, and the last place you want to be stuck with children is the hard shoulder! Then of course the fact that in accidents SUVs are more likely to roll over, and child seats aren’t really designed for that scenario, also makes them good but not great at protecting occupants

To be fair a Defender is probably a terrible car to be in on a motorway, as it’s more likely than most brands to break down,

What are you basing this on? My Defender has been great

Yeah, there's some very odd ideas on this thread about big cars being good and small cars being bad. The thing is, just about anything on the road now that's looked after properly and has an MOT, is going to be perfectly safe enough and adequate enough to cope with 99.9% of the roads in the UK, even in quite bad conditions.

My car has el-cheapo tyres on it of the sort petrolheads sneer at, and I've still never had any trouble.

Lol local road to me blocked today by a broken down defender

What Car reliability rankings had them pretty low down initially, but to be fair they have improved and new models are doing reallly well.

What car seat is your youngest in? Could you afford to upgrade to something that might fit better behind you?

definitely stick rear facing, but they should also be fine in the front! Why isn’t ex collecting and dropping them back off to you?

It is known for its less than reliable reputation oil and electronics are the two culprits

30 minutes???? Thats less than most people commute to work.

On the experience of several friends who’ve purchased new range rovers and land rovers and had serious problems. Indeed, I am currently in France with a friend who has a Defender. We drove in separate cars me from Italy, her from the U.K.. The Defender broke down yesterday and my friend is returning to the UK by train, because Land Rover in France cannot fix the car due to parts not being available for 5 weeks. So, I think my comment is warranted. Your experience might be fine of course :)

This might be a situation OP where taking the attitude of “I’m going to show myself how resilient I am, I CAN do this, it’s not a big deal at all, I do not need ex-dh to provide a fancy car for me” will reap rewards in terms of confidence. Don’t allow yourself to feel hard done by- even if the situation (that we don’t know anything about) suggests it. Crack on with being fabulous and bossing your own life.

Why can't you get them both in the back? I have a Fiat 500 and managed to get two car seats in, including one rear facing. Means the passenger seat has to be quite far forward but fine if you don't have a passenger!

I think if she didn’t put the fear in the post and asked if she was unreasonable to not drive their child to see him because he chose to move away I think the vast majority would be agreeing it’s his job to make the journey both ways. What she did was give him an excuse to say she’s being unreasonable

Except it isn’t just about drinking to his house. She also does t want to have to drink her son to school….the school that she choose.

So the OP doesn’t want to do lifts due to drinking? Well that changes things a bit! Surely no car is safe to drive after a tipple or two.

DP used to commute to the Netherlands on a weekly basis.

He didn’t want to put so many miles on his good car so bought a Fiat 500 to do it in.

It’s 320 miles each way.

I think people despair slightly at the “I’m just a poor wee woman who is scared to drive” act.

A modern fiat 500 is absolutely fine for hills, mountains and motorways.

Yes you tend to spend more time in lower gears and with your foot to the floor than you would in a 5L V8 Range Rover, but on the other hand they are nimble and narrower than that so better away from the motorway.

They come out terribly in reliability surveys, in large part down to electrical problems.

We’ve a Range Rover, which we love for long journeys with lots of luggage but are aware that they are both unreliable and cost a fortune to insure.

Indeed. And most of us are tired of the number of poor drivers who decide they "have to" drive a car as huge as a tank and then take up two parking spaces/fail to navigate country lanes/ mow down children having a picnic Infront of their school

Are there any campaigns against fat cars? I'd back them if there were. Or petitions to parliament that people know of?
Edited to add - just got my tax bill for my little 22 year old polo and it is £275.... Why? It doesn't smash up the roads like fat cars do, emissions are not terrible and it fits in a parking space with room around it.

I get it OP❤️ I drove a Fiat 500 as a hire car and it felt like a biscuit tin on wheels. My DD wanted to buy one for her first car but I vetoed it because I felt they were so insubstantial they wouldn’t protect her in an accident with a larger, heavier vehicle.

Your X sounds like a knob of the highest order. You will get through this and life will get better. Your kids will judge him when they are older and truly understand.

This is what I think.

A Fiat 500 is perfectly fine for motorway driving. Obviously it’s not going to work for off road driving or something but on all normal roads it’s fine!

But he has the responsibility for driving because he moved to the middle of nowhere!

Surely most small cars could be described in the same way? And as Defenders also got panned on this thread, it seems that most cars are deemed unsuitable for hills, villages, motorways or driving to an ex’s house!

In my eyes a Fiat 500 is an expensive car too!

I’m only giving you my experience. DD got a fiesta in the end and it just feels “weightier” for want of a better word.

I’m sure the Fiat 500 passes all the road safety rules but it genuinely felt like driving a Quality Street tin on wheels. I did a 4 hour round trip - A roads, not motorways - and was a nervous wreck by the end. I am an experienced and competent driver not usually overtaken by nerves.