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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed that my parents never gave me a sense of responsibility when it comes to money?

228 replies

spendyspend · 30/05/2026 09:00

My parents have always been pretty well off - a successful business, rental properties and healthy pensions.

They have never been ones for investing, and although my dad is quite tight, my mum is the opposite. If i ever saw something I liked as a child she’d tell me to buy it, birthday money would always be “oh let’s go on a shopping trip”, there was never any mention of saving it. They never really bought into the saving for your kids thing either.

That attitude carried on, and I ended up in a bit of a mess in my early 20’s because of it, and I’m only just starting to get myself out of it in my late 20’s.

But looking back, I can’t really believe they did this? I’m not in a hugely well paying job but they encouraged me to act like I was - if I ever mentioned liking something they’d just say “oh well buy it”, never encouraged saving for a home etc., and I just feel like it was really irresponsible of them. They’ve not taught me about pensions, investing, anything like that. I feel a little let down by them to be honest. AIBU to feel that way?

OP posts:
Missey85 · 03/06/2026 18:49

Dweetfidilove · 03/06/2026 15:55

It's amazing OP learnt 'spend, spend, spend'; but not - 'build businesses and maximise pension savings' so you have actual money to 'spend, spend, spend-.

OP Learnt that mummy and daddy will pay for it 😂

TheVeryThing · 03/06/2026 19:06

Even if they had taught you those lessons, how do you know you would have been receptive?
Quite often we ignore the advice of our parents or deliberately do the opposite to what they have modelled for us.
I don’t think it’s a simple as some mumsnetters seem to believe. I do my best to pass on my advice and good habits to my kids but they’re not exactly hanging on my every word.

MiaRosexo · 09/06/2026 09:45

Completely understand you on this one, I am in a similar situation! Family’s attitude was always “treat yourself” “let’s go shopping” “just put it on a credit card” - zero lessons given around investing, pensions, savings etc! I’m now 29 (which I know is still young) but only just started learning about investing etc and very much playing catch up with saving. My friends were encouraged from having their first job to save, looking at pensions etc and I can tell it’s made a huge difference for them. You’re not on your own feeling like this x

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