To be annoyed that my parents never gave me a sense of responsibility when it comes to money?

[spendyspend]

My parents have always been pretty well off - a successful business, rental properties and healthy pensions.

They have never been ones for investing, and although my dad is quite tight, my mum is the opposite. If i ever saw something I liked as a child she’d tell me to buy it, birthday money would always be “oh let’s go on a shopping trip”, there was never any mention of saving it. They never really bought into the saving for your kids thing either.

That attitude carried on, and I ended up in a bit of a mess in my early 20’s because of it, and I’m only just starting to get myself out of it in my late 20’s.

But looking back, I can’t really believe they did this? I’m not in a hugely well paying job but they encouraged me to act like I was - if I ever mentioned liking something they’d just say “oh well buy it”, never encouraged saving for a home etc., and I just feel like it was really irresponsible of them. They’ve not taught me about pensions, investing, anything like that. I feel a little let down by them to be honest. AIBU to feel that way?

I agree, they were pretty crap about that. I taught my kids everything you wish you’d been taught.

But I also agree with other posters. It’s time to let go. Everyone’s parents are crap in some way. Hopefully this is the worst thing they did and they didn’t set you up for a lifetime of crippling anxiety or teach you that abuse is ok.

It sounds like you had a lovely childhood. You sound ungrateful. You were very lucky.

Time to grow up now. Stop blaming your parents and be a responsible adult.

Seems to be a lot of people nowadays who whine and whige about debt and not having the same financial leeway as their parents.

Times have changed big time. And the days of guaranteed large pensions, smug feather bedding, and guaranteed investments returns have long gone .

COL high rents, mortgages etc are difficult but just a fact of life Everybody has dealt with them rich or poor.

Just wait until AI really kicks in.

You can blame your parents for anything/everything but ultimately you're an adult so it's up to you. Glad to hear you are investing now. It's life changing.

"Oh no I had a nice childhood my parents had money that's so hard"

If not teaching you how to save or spend money responsibily was the biggest error of your parents ways then I would suggest you have had good parents. You are an adult now and to continue blaming them is frankly very unreasonable and kinda pathetic.

What a nauseating attitude from op. The need to reproach others and play the victim is literally an epidemic.

Brilliant, 😂😂😂

I'm annoyed my parents didn't force me to learn the harpsichord and piano from a very early age. I could probably have been another Mozart (although I don't speak Austrian, so that's another failing of my parents).

Your parents have the personalities they have. You can't change them for different ones.

YANBU. I actually do think it is a parents job to teach their children about budgeting and managing money, savings habits and so on. The earlier you start the more chance there is of the child or teenager being responsible with money and not getting into debt as an adult. Your mums attitudes of buy stuff regardless of whether you can afford it may well be because she could afford it but presumably you just starting out in life won’t be in the same position.

The mantra I taught our girls was Do I need it or do I just want it when considering a purchase. Can I afford it or buy it cheaper elsewhere or do I already have something which will do the same job? I recommended they do a monthly budget and put something into savings each month plus save for things like car repairs, holidays, insurances etc etc. Don’t take out debt for anything which is not essential. So credit cards for holidays, clothes gadgets etc is a no no and should be saved for. MSE, Dave Ramsey in US or Martin Lewis show are all good sources of info. Read up on Pensions, Investments, ISAs and mortgages.

The main thing I realised with money though is your attitude has a lot to do with how financially astute you are. The wealthiest or most financially secure people don’t necessarily flaunt it or splash it around and often those who throw money around buying expensive stuff may be doing it to make themselves feel better. Just because you have money it does not mean you have to spend it. Keeping it in reserve is a good plan.