I hate being fat :(

[Scarlettjune]

I'm 5 foot 3 and 14 stone 6 pounds. I hate being fat. Why can I achieve so much else in my life but I can't achieve losing weight.
I have tried so many times.

I went on mounjaro last year and it just made me really sick. I didnt lose any weight on it. I am off it now.

Both me and my brother had very bad childhoods and we are both overweight. Obviously we are eating to comfort ourselves. I'm not sure how to break the pattern. Was anyone on here able to break out of the pattern of emotional eating?

Forget the jabs , they aren't for you OP

You say you have achieved so much in your life....what? I'd be interested to find out.
Is being slim an achievement or work in progress?

Op look up Freud vs Adler in relation to trauma survivors and recovery. Maybe time to try and move forward (Adler approach) rather than living in the past. What you need is another way to process and move on from your emotions in the moment to avoid reaching for food. I personally have a couple of low impact endurance hobbies that not only burn calories but help clear my head. They have given me a new appreciation for nature and take me to places that make me (and my past trauma) feel very small. Weight training also helps.

sometimes we need to draw a line under the past and make new memories to replace the bad ones and that’s how we gradually process and move forward. I don’t mean to trivialize your trauma at all but you have a choice to make to stay stuck or move on. Focus on the life you want and find your passion for whatever floats your boat. You’re not in that situation any more, bring your head and body with you.

An acquaintance of mine also feels constantly nauseous whilst taking MJ. Unfortunately, she has a terrible problem with food noise, so as soon as she came off it, she gained back all the weight. She now says she will have to take it for the rest of her life at a cost of £180 a month.

I also can't afford to take WLI again. So I definitely won't be taking them again. I think I'm going to try slimming world and the michael mosely fast 800. Thanks for those suggestions. I haven't tried those yet

Before MJ the only thing that worked on my food noise was intermittent fasting. I did the 5:2 Michael Mosley diet for about 18 months. I lost 3 stone and maintained at that, but got discouraged as I needed to lose more and the sale would not shift further. On the two days a week I did the “fast” I would not eat a breakfast and have a light low cal late lunch. Then a healthy evening meal emphasis on protein and fibre. I mostly went low carb on those days as I find sugar and carbs are definite drivers of hunger and cravings for me.

Honestly the MJ helps me with a simular way of eating with the first couple of days after the jab being low carb and not able to eat as much. But I try to balance over the week. I am also trying to minimise Ultra processed foods as a lot of the research links this strongly with obesity levels shooting up from the middle of the 70’s and onwards.

if I could have lost the rest with the 5:2 plan I would have stayed on it, but I think I needed to increase exercise which I didn’t do enough of at that time. On MJ I have done that as well.

I see it as a tool to get me to a weight and health I want and it helps me to move to more exercise and better diet. but although it’s harder it can be done without. Even if you increase your exercise, even 30 mins walk a day is a help and even losing some weight is a boost to health. So try to frame it less as “getting thin” and more “getting healthy” and work on mental health as well as physical health. Good luck OP

If SW worked, everybody would be thin. Ask for data on long term weight loss before you join.

Slimming world has a 97 percent regain rate. It’s the highest of all diet plans. Weight watchers is 95 percent. Other types of diet 80 percent.

If it worked they’d both have went bankrupt a long long time ago. It not working is how they make their money, they need it to be unsustainable to make money.

a friend of mine has done it for decades. She’s fatter now than ever. She’d do it, lose the weight, regain, go back and do it again. Completely unsustainable for the overwhelming majority of people , she’s spent a small fortune over the decades to end up fatter than ever.

she said to me a few months ago, I’m not sure slimming world works. And it took every part of me being restrained to not say, you think? The definition of madness is to do the same thing over and over and expect different results.

I had emdr (didn't 'cure' my ptsd but made it manageable) went on to loose 5 stone and keep it off.
I was really sceptical about emdr but felt it was my last resort. I was told that complex multiple traumas are harder to deal with than a one off trauma however it did help enough to help me function in life and therefore be able to think about areas of my life eg.diet.
I calorie counted along side it and continue to do it to maintain. Also brought in meal planning to take the stress out of the week and an online shop to avoid temptation.

To everyone on this journey: don't think about 'going on a diet' because that carries with it the concept of coming off it again and back to the habits that caused the overweight in the first place.

Think instead of a permanent change in how you think, feel and behave around food.

Start with thinking it through.

Why you want this weight loss - all the reasons that are driving you. For me it was:

Being obese, over 60, in the last 1/3 of my life, had two surgeries under GA in 7 years = more risk should there be further need for surgery.

A history of slipped disc, frozen shoulder, varicose veins and gout - everything clearly not helped by being fat.

Several photos / videos posted online by friends ... 😬

And generally slowing down, getting sluggish, having to stop on the way up hills for puffing, and the clincher ... Being unable to get out of the bath without rolling over onto my front and getting on hands and knees first...

Also the NHS chart staring me in the face telling me I was obese.

Decision time.

Visualising my ideal weight, size, how I'd look, feel, move, be.

Permanent change in thinking - will eating that help me get these goals? No.

So what will?

Learning about nutrition, calorie counting, meal planning, allowing treats as part of the calorie allowance not on top of, better balance of protein, carbs, veggies/salads.

Feeling proud, charting achievements, every small loss celebrated, buying interim size jeans and bras on my way down. Because I am worth it.

I've reached my initial BIG GOAL, and would like to go a little further down.

Tip - exercise. I wish I had joined a gym. But we're walking a lot!

This is one reason I’m so glad I’ve been able to lost weight without WLI. I don’t need to depend on medication that might make me nauseous. I’m often very sensitive to meds. And I’ve had what seems like mild IBS from when I was a kid so I already feel queasy now and again after certain foods.

Feeling proud, charting achievements, every small loss celebrated, buying interim size jeans and bras on my way down. Because I am worth it.
I've reached my initial BIG GOAL, and would like to go a little further down

Well done- you must feel so pleased! @JFDIYOLO

Well done! You should be really proud at putting your health first.

I’m a bit overweight but it’s amazing the difference a few pounds makes when it creeps towards obsesity. I feel sluggish and my joints hurt. Plus exercise and building muscle mass and the resultant strength and flexibility hugely improves my sense of wellbeing and my overall health.

Same here. I do have other reasons, but the potential of the symptoms I’ve known others to have, also puts me off.

It’s a quality of life issue for me. Yes I want to lose weight; and am doing so, but I have absolutely no desire to spend £180 on nausea.

Do look into the WeightWatchers app too. I have lost 3st 3lbs so far, but still more to go. Good luck!

Yikes - that's grim

You may (or may not) wish to read Eli Lilly's patient information leaflet on various side effects (and contraindications) before saying various of the things you have with such overwhelming confidence. I mean, because it's fact based and data driven rather than anecdotal and opinion based

I'm not far off your height and weight.
And until you fix the trauma, you won't fix the weight.
People often don't understand and think it's just down to greed but it's essentially like being on substances or alcohol. You have an addiction to the thing that eases the pain and gives you endorphins even though it's shortlived.
So it isn't just a case of eat better.
You need to find a new outlet. I started going to the gym and when I get those urges I try to do a bit of exercise instead, or go and clean something.
It shifts the focus and those things also release endorphins and if you keep at it eventually the habit will start to change from reaching for food to doing some squats or giving the bathroom a scrub.

It's early days for me but it is very slowly working.

I’m sure the poster has as they are accurate and contextualising. Is that what you’ve done, read a leaflet then went round your living room panicking?

Amazing good on you! I lost 14 kg on it. It's fast so it's super encouraging. I dont blame you not wanting to be in endless therapy, it's actually quite rare that long term change comes from it anyway. I don't think the food issue is because of your childhood as I said, I think it's just appetite. There was an excellent Australian study done on this which essentially concluded that the only difference between people who are thin and larger people is appetite, not metabolism. That's not your fault and it's not a weakness. The best thing is 'the path that's made by walking'. Action is where it is at, doing something different. As you lose weight, which you will, your confidence will increase. Embrace it!

Hi i started doing the michael mosely diet and i think I've lost a few pounds. I haven't weighed myself yet but I look better. I radically need to change my way of eating.
I see all I'm doing wrong. There is a shop near me so I buy too many snacks there. I was eating lunch at work and that was very greasy.

I think Michael Moseley’s suggestions really work. The food is both healthy and delicious and quite filling.

Only shopping for food a couple of times a week can help…

I also did a few days where I didn't eat all day until 20.00.

I can afford to fast, my body has weight to burn

@Scarlettjune It’s brilliant that you’re keeping on trying.
I saw this the other day from a guy called Sam Gibson who is all about how to regain control around food noise and emotional eating. Here’s a Sam Gibson quote, a bit long, sorry, but worth it.

Sam Gibson:
“ I was having a conversation with a client the other day

And we got talking about the relationship people have with “failure”

“Failing” in life is inevitable

You will mess up more times than you win

The game of life is stacked against you every single day.

If it was easy?

We would have never evolved to experience the human nature for desire.

For growth. For challenge. For a sense of pride and achievement

You can’t experience these emotions without failure being built in your hardwiring.

People’s perception of failure really keeps them stuck mentally.

Take emotional eating for example

Let’s say you’ve been overeating every night for years on end, a consistent theme in your life for years

To the point where its eroded your self esteem down to a little nub..

But you decide to do something about it

After 2 weeks of hard work

You’ve been able to stay clear from the junk food before bed.

But on the 15th day

You crash and burn; life stresses you out

And you find yourself overeating again..

This is the moment that will either “make or break” you

You can berate yourself.
Shame yourself.
Beat yourself up for “failing”.

Decide “you’ve ruined it” and go back to your old ways and continue every night with another binge

Because “what’s the point”…

Or option 2

Congratulate yourself for going 2 weeks without overeating.

But accept you still have work to do and that a relapse is often inevitable

Look for the lessons in your failure and learn from it

While accepting the last 2 weeks of no binge eating was a HELL of an improvement from the previous 2 decades of binge eating every night…

And that tomorrow is another day.

And you will try again.

The reason people stay stuck with option 1

Are down to unreasonable expectations and the need for instant gratification

While having a TERRIBLE perception of what failure actually is...

You are SUPPOSED TO FAIL

Then you’re supposed to try again

This is how you grow.

There is no other way out of the binge cycle than this.

Change your perspective on what “failure” actually is

Failure is an opportunity to learn what DIDN'T WORK so you can accept it and look to learn from it.

You will carve out an unstoppable mindset which will guarantee you win eventually

IF you keep playing the game long enough to see it pay off…

If you quit.

You don’t see it pay off..

You stay stuck…

This is what breaking the all-or-nothing mindset looks like.

You dont just wake up one day and stop failing.

You wake up one day and decide to stop quitting despite it.

Read that last line again.”

So many of us give up trying because of ‘what’s the point?” and an over eating session leads to a downward spiral instead of being what it is, just a temporary blip which could be a single episode instead of a cascade of ‘start on Monday’ binges.

I think it’s great that you want to keep trying, mindset shifts about failure lead to failure never stopping you and if you never stop, you’ll get there regardless of the number of failures along the way.
Good luck!