I hate being fat :(

[Scarlettjune]

I'm 5 foot 3 and 14 stone 6 pounds. I hate being fat. Why can I achieve so much else in my life but I can't achieve losing weight.
I have tried so many times.

I went on mounjaro last year and it just made me really sick. I didnt lose any weight on it. I am off it now.

Both me and my brother had very bad childhoods and we are both overweight. Obviously we are eating to comfort ourselves. I'm not sure how to break the pattern. Was anyone on here able to break out of the pattern of emotional eating?

A poster on this thread wrote that taking mounjaro made her end up in hospital. So how is it that unusual?

It’s unusual because hospitals are not full of people due to taking Mounjaro. It’s extremely rare anyone is hospitalised with this as the cause.

Cross posted - which explains why I didn't write it out before.

I promise I'm not selling anything. There is a liver and gall bladder cleanse, it does involve buying a book for about a tenner off Amazon, which I did. I've linked it below.

Basically, it's a natural detox for your liver, which also softens the stones and allows them to be expelled without any pain. After the first cleanse, I felt like a new woman. I instantly felt healthier. I did more cleanses to be sure, 6-8 in total over the course of a year, but after the 3rd, I didn't expel anymore stones.

It's certainly worth giving it a try because gallbladder removal does increase your risk of bowel cancer (as the bile then seeps into your bowel), and gallstones are actually formed in the liver, so removal won't necessarily improve overall health of the liver.

Anyway, this is the book I bought and followed, it's really really good. I promise it's nothing to do with me & I don't make any money from this at all. Just passing on what worked for me.

The Liver and Gallbladder Miracle Cleanse: An All-Natural, At-Home Flush to Purify and Rejuvenate Your Body: Amazon.co.uk: Moritz, Andreas: 9781569756065: Books

Scientific studies suggest this is nonsense

If it’s not fixable having tried drugs and therapy then maybe acceptance is the way to go. Being heathy is still good even if you can’t be thin. Maybe concentrate on doing some exercise daily or stepping up what you do already/ trying something different and ensuring you get 5 a day or 10 if you already do 5, get some lovely new clothes and great hair and make up (I know lots of women who yes are overweight but still look amazing to me) Overall try to switch to a mindset of doing good self caring things instead of thinking of taking stuff away.

It definitely increases the risk of gallstones. However, it’s as a result of rapid weight loss. Any rapid weight loss (from memory that’s classed as around 20kg over a year) greatly increases the risk. So, if Mounjaro is effective in someone the weight loss they will have a significantly increased risk of gallstones.

Yes but it is not unusual for mounjaro to make you sick. Several posters on this thread have now said that mounjaro made them sick.

Eh I feel sick just at the memory of taking mounjaro. Mounjaro gave me nausea, stomach pain, burps, facts, diarrhoea, loss of bowel control, headaches and tiredness

Well, this "nonsense" rid me of painful gallstones and massively improved my liver function (proven by blood tests), as I said - good luck with your surgery.

Good luck with your sales pitch

The medication itself upsets the gall bladder. I lost no weight on it at all and immediately had gall bladder flare ups.

Jesus, I'm just someone who bought a recommended book, followed the method, and got rid of my gallstones. I'm not selling anything, just genuinely trying to help people FFS. There's really no need to be rude when I was just trying to help you avoid surgery.

My friend was on MJ and she was so sick and had the worst stomach cramping ever she said she’d rather be fat!!!

me and my sister do slimming world maybe something like that would be better? Plus we go to a really nice group and have made some nice friends there too and everyone is there because they want to loose weight.

I hope you find what works for you ❤️

Thank you. Is there an online chat feature on the slimming world app?

I’m not sure there is a chat on the app as it’s more to record weight losses, success stories and recipes etc etc but our group has a closed Facebook page where people post their food and chat to each other and we have a wattsapp group too.

It is a lovely group and everyone is welcoming - if you go on the SW website and put in your postcode it’ll tell you where your nearest groups are x

Have you tried EMDR therapy? It’s apparently very good for trauma related recovery and doesn’t involve going into too much depth with the therapist about the situation.

How long were you on MJ, OP?

As a PP said, lots of people find they get on much better with Wegovy as it only works on one receptor so has less side effects.

You seem hell bent on finding reasons why different methods don’t work. If you are defensive then nothing will. Counselling? 🤷‍♀️

Well that sounds unbelievably shit!

I’m sorry they were so useless. Especially the one crying about your story. No use whatsoever at least until well into the therapeutic relationship where a small degree of showing genuine empathic emotional response can be helpful.

Have you had EMDR OP? It’s a different way of processing trauma that doesn’t rely on endlessly talking about the past to process it.

The other thing is have you read the Body Keeps the Score. It contains a huge amount of information about more body based therapies. In my experience there isn’t usually just one way in which people can process past trauma. Usually a combined approach is helpful. For example something like somatic experiencing or EFT tapping or parts based work like Internal Family Systems combined together can be really helpful. Also doing some mindful exercise like yoga, t’ai chi or Pilates can also help.

There’s also a group based therapy called PBSP which has helped people with very severe trauma.

Another person who gives a huge amount of information about trauma is Carolyn Spring. You might want to read her web site.

If your trauma came from childhood experiences then Pete Walker’s book From Surviving to Thriving is very good.

Finally you might find the work of Peter Levine, Babette Rothschild and Deb Dana on YouTube and their written work really inspiring. There are many practical ways you can use at home to bring down your level of emotional overload in a healthier long term way than overeating. For example you may be stuck in a constant flight or flight state and it’s important to start to feel a place of safety before you process your trauma otherwise it could be overwhelming.

These are just some ideas for you but obviously you will find your own way forward. I wish you well. As you realise yourself it is really hard to tackle your emotional eating without first processing the underlying trauma. I’m so sorry that happened to you,

Was born prematurely in 1981 fitting into toy baby clothes but throughout my life so far been known as the dumpy one. Fought to survive hours old.

Hit puberty at 10 and ballooned up with under active thyroid, late 30s when life style diabetes was round the corner, what a mess, the surgeon couldn’t contain themselves and giggled at diabetes reversal with a bmi of 40 just before I ended up on the emergency operating table last year when life looked at its best.

In my early 40’s the latest is a lymphoedema diagnosis- does all my fat end up in my feet, people say well just buy tight fitting shoes but those tight and ill fit shoes just expose you to more swelling, redness and risk of infection.

The weight loss meds only work for a certain period of time and rarely have I felt any tough side effects beyond 24 hours. It is a lot of money to find when it is isn’t working for you beyond the initial honeymoon period of starvation.

From my experience i always lost the most weight when focusing more on my health and happiness rather than the scale. Take care of yourself and do things that make you feel good. You could make a "dopamine menu" that might take some of the pressure off food as an only source of comfort.

I dont know about weightloss drugs, but gall stones often grow when people lose weight. Ive lost 2.5 stone over the past 18 months just by changing my eating and have developed gallstones - apparently the cholesterol in your blood has to go somewhere!

Is it possible to comfort eat but still make it pretty healthy food?

Fillet of salmon on a bed of brown rice, fried onion, broccoli or salad, mayo, avocado and so on... not wholly slimming but no bad carbs, sugar or processed food. Have as much as you like and it is delicious. Switch to canned fish if not feeling too flush.
Brekkie can be Greek yoghurt, walnuts, chopped apple, banana and blueberries. Again, not that slimming but healthy and not that fattening. It tastes delicious.

I think it was winter and TV presenter Richard Osman who said the only way he dealt with his cravings was to just not have junk food like biscuits etc in the house, or he would eat all of it there and then. Just as an alcoholic can't have booze in the house, they can't ration it, once they start that's it.

Well, losing weight without montjaro. The answer to that is simultaneously both very simple and very difficult. Simply put, you need a calorie deficit if around 3000 calories to lose 1ib in weight. The difficult bit is that our emotional state, social life, genetics, bowel health, gut flora, the fact that sugar is found in masses of food nowadays, how much we exercise,all contribute to the complexity of weight loss, as does the fact that diets work until you stop them, when the majority of people regain the weight they lost.
Initially, I'd suggest that you keep some sort of food diary. Don't try to diet, just note things like, when do you always eat? What are the situations where you snack or binge? What triggers your emotional eating? What's happening with the eating - are you, for example, literally swallowing your feeling with the food, or trying to make yourself feel better (sweeter) with sweet things? Once you've done start changing things. Think about how you can change things so you dont automatically eat at certain times or certain situations. Or eat differently. Build treats and comforts into your life that arent food. Remember its a journey, if you buy a packet of sweets or binge at midnight then dont give up, just stop it and start again. Use tricks - putting down your knife and fork between mouthfuls helps because you eat more slowly and give your body more time to send the full signals ( this usually takes about 30 minutes for your body to say its full). Sugar bypasses the full signal so try not to eat it. You are trying to establish a regime for life, not a diet. Therapy might or might not be a good idea but eating habits are exactly that, habits, you need to change them deliberately. It takes at least 2 years for your body to accept any new lower weight as the new set point and stop piling on weight the instant you eat a little more. Your gut flora will be crying out for the old food, you have to wait for the bacteria to adjust. Exercise can suppress appetite as well as increase the calories your body burns naturally. Build treats and comforts in your life that aren't food. Try and find a way that fits in with your gamily and life. Good luck.

I'm not sure therapy or a focus on mental health is the answer. I'm sure your childhood trauma didn't help the weight situation and perhaps they are related, but remember many people who had very happy childhoods and no trauma also struggle with their weight. It's common - in fact the majority of people struggle with this.

Don't be in a mindset of thinking these issues have to be solved before you can lose weight or if you did make progress there, the weight would fall off. I would focus on cutting back calories and finding a diet you can stick with for a while, and not worry as much about the why. Why could simply be - food tastes great and is satisfying for us as humans, this helped us to survive when food was scarce, we haven't yet adapted to the fact that it now isn't.

I can completely relate to the OP - have also had so much therapy for other things that hasn't worked that I'm cynical that it would work for this.

This comment from LittleMyLabyrinth stuck out for me though and I wondered if it might spark any interest for you?

Little - do you have any more info on a 'dopamine menu'? Is that something you've tried? How did it work and were the results long term? I think for many people it looks like the OP is dismissing every suggestion, and I completely get it - but this one was new to me and I'd love to know more!

When I first started taking WLI I was under a private provider that also offered some counselling.

I found the counselling very useful and it focused on what they called the 4 pillars of weight loss. Sleep, stress, diet and exercise.

Honestly at the time it made not much difference to my weight as I didn't lose much on the WLIs anyway, and now I am being queued for bariatric surgery.

My pre-surgical dietary advice though has been revolutionary though and contradictory to other NHS diet advice I've had in the past where it's been focused on specific diets such as keto, vegan, slimming world etc.

Combining the 4 pillars of weight loss strategies, with the dietary advice from the bariatric team though has weilded some results because it's reduced a lot of stress in my life from making decisions and also worrying about the next meal and when it will come because I am starving all the time despite being morbidly obese.

Basically I have 3 meals a day and each meal must have protein, carbs and fibre. I do not eliminate sugars or fats but I don't make an effort to add them either, they just happen to be in what I eat. I also have 1 single functional snack between my lunch and my evening meal, below 100 calories and mostly protein, so it is often some sort of egg. Boiled, scrambled, poached, steamed, onsen style with fresh chives or herbs and some low calorie sauce for flavouring.

I have a perfect meal plan for the week and then I have a not perfect meal plan for the week so if I don't have the bandwidth for any of the perfect meals I can just substitute out a less than perfect meal. These are usually my protein microwave meals from Iceland.

I will still be getting the surgery, and have been told weight loss isn't the goal here. If weight loss happens, good for me, but it's not the goal. Weight loss is happening though, even though I'm probably eating more calories. I'm getting the energy through the day I need to move more, sleep better, and not stress.

I have also done therapy for trauma, although it wasn't specifically for emotional eating I do think it has helped me accept that I have had a traumatic life, so what, I am an adult now and I can make responsible choices for myself and equally forgive myself for allowing me to get to this state but forgiveness isn't just in words of affirmation to myself, it's in the actions I choose. I wouldn't accept an apology from someone who had done something wrong to me, if they kept doing the thing I didn't like and I need to hold myself to the same standard and be accountable. I do think anyone with any sort of trauma can benefit from some proper trauma informed therapy because weight loss isn't just physiological it is psychological too.