Lend a Tenner to friend in financial difficulty?

[CertaintyOfTides]

Hello ,

So I'd like some outside perspective on this.
I've never been one to ask for money and have always paid money,probably taking it too far in fact . For example. Even if it was a £1.

So recently I've had a number of unforeseen issues ie . Poorly pets , deaths in the family and on my part , not being 100% thinking clearly .
I have a close friend , who we've both described as being like family . I know she has had issues before with lending people large amounts of money and being taken advantage of . She's since told me she never lends money .
Last week I found myself about £10 away from trouble bank account wise . I didn't want to ask for money but was desperate and texted her saying I will get paid in 2 days but can you please lend me £10 . And please feel free to say no .
At the very least as I thought we were best mates, I expected a text back .
Instead, I got absolute radio silence. I then recieved a text thanking me for her birthday card but criticising the present I got her.

AIBU to think that lending a close friend £10 for two days, when you have plenty of money and they are struggling should not be a big deal and that they should at least say no. Rather than ignore you .

Thanks .

I have had this same experience. I try to avoid lending money at all now for this reason. It starts with a tenner and then is (in my experience) always more and more over time....never again.

I posted earlier about lending money to a colleague and regretting it. However, I also have a friend who's lovely, but shit at managing money, and I have bailed her out a few times. She has always paid me back.

As I said before, I would never lend more than I could afford to give as a gift.

This.

She told she would never lend money and yet you still asked.

You were rude to ask.
She was rude not to answer but as you shouldn’t have asked in the first place her rudeness is proportionate and reasonable.

In fairness she lent money before to acquaintances about 15 years ago .
It's a different scenario and I absolutely would not have asked had I not been told before that she would make an exception for me .
I've had family die , poorly inherited chickens and all sorts randomly happening.

But yes , I'm actually over it now and will not be spending an extra penny this month .

Yes, I too would be happy to give a friend in need money rather than lend it.
It would be done and dusted and never referred to again.

I lent a very close friend 10k. I got about 7 back and we are no longer friends.

I would still give a friend a tenner if they were in need.

I am sorry she did not reply, my guess would be that she did not know how to say no so just said nothing.

I would have thought she might help you out but a tenner however small it seems is often the start and I get why she wasnt happy you know her as much as she knows you , that you were stupid to ask.

As for your present maybe she is criticising that if you couldnt afford it you shouldn't have bought it, that way its like shes paying for her present or part of it

If you were my friend I would have given you the £10 but I would also tell you that it would be the first and last time. I think maybe you could have approached it differently, maybe tell her what you were struggling with and she if she offered. If you asked me again after the first time it would be the end of the friendship because you would be crossing a boundary.

whatever happened to "a friend in need, is a friend indeed"
cant believe she refused you - very mean i think
i dont understand those people - Im not wealthy but would bend over backwards for a friend if i could help out

You must have spent a minimum of £3 for a card if it was posted, possibly that is enough without a present if you explain your predicament.
Could you have asked for a sub at work?
Hope you got through without too much trouble with the bank.