Husband has stormed out because I found messages on his phone

[Welshie2]

Hi everyone, I had so many supportive messages on my previous post which has now closed. I have started to implement some of the advice around finances etc. I’ve also filled this weekend with plans not involving my Husband. I said last night he was going at 100mph, and he is similar today. He has text me to say the delivery is arriving tomorrow morning and he can see if his parents can have DS so we can have some us time. I’ve told him I’m going to be out and he has just blanked me.

So thank you to everyone who is helping me navigate this. He is making it seem like everything is business as usual and that I am silly to be dragging it out in his words.

Could OP also start that online divorce form someone posted earlier in the thread? Is it something that can be started then go back to at a later date? I know she needs legal advice but if putting in their names and address on the form means it's officially started the process, then does that help her?

Anyone whose goodwill is contingent on OP doing what they want her to shouldn't be posting on here for her at all.

OP do you trust him enough to tell you the truth Tuesday afternoon ?

I attended a disciplinary meeting a couple of months back as a support person. We attended the earlier meeting to be tons up front a second meeting would be held same day but a few hours after the first.

this was before the first meeting/discussion had commenced. I knew then that whatever the employee had to say would not sway the outcome, that it had already been decided.

I fear in your husband’s case (I won’t use the standard DH as he clearly isn’t) he will come away from the meeting full of him and how he intends to appeal the decision regardless.

has an appointment been made with the union delegate prior to Tuesday ? This would give the rep the opportunity to lay the cards on the table and decide tactics. Having said that, again who is going to tell you what those are?

ps. Yes his parents need to know this weekend what has happened. yes it’s going to hurt them, but that’s on him.

Told not tons ^

They did with a former work mate of mine, and that was comparatively minor compared to what the OP's husband has done. Instant dismissal that day, not sure if it was at the actual meeting but she called me from her home in under an hour from when it would have ended to tell me.

Sounds like he’s hoping he can steamroll, manipulate and gaslight you into letting this all blow over. That’s why he’s just ignoring everything you say.

He sounds as thick as a brick but as cunning as a rat. You’ll need to have your wits about you.

I do agree with others, talk to your family / friends tell your truth and don't hide things for him or lie for him / to protect him.

Well done @Welshie2! Wishing you the best. Make a new thread as some the advice on here seems to be golden and helpful!.

I would tell him now, that not a penny of your savings will ever be spent on a fruitless battle to fight a dismissal.
If he wants to lose thousands, jog on.
He knows hes guilty, (he just thinks hes too clever)

@Welshie2 how are you doing? Just to gently remind you that we are on page 40 now. If you've found the support helpful, start a new thread so we can continue to support you 💐 and post it here, if you can.

Not good, it has been a horrible 24 hours with arguments and my husband making some vile comments after drinking. Really dreading this weekend.

Thanks for the reminder, I will start another one now x

We are all here to listen and not judge. If you feel it would be helpful, please let us lighten your load 🙏🏻

Thank you. This is the new one:

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5536014-husband-has-stormed-out-because-i-found-messages-on-his-phone

The new thread is under a different user name? Is it genuine? Because the user name of the new thread has another thread all about jam where she says her husband is a good man.
It is very recent, too.
Confused.

Why is it necessary to start a new thread? Genuine question - not inflammatory

Why is it necessary to start a new thread (even if it is 40 pages long)?? Doesn't it take you to the last page automatically in any case?
Genuine question - not inflammatory - thanks:)

Once a thread has 1000 posts it closes. How will OP continue to get support if she doesn’t start a new thread? This is absolutely standard practice.

Is that why it's been deleted?

I wondered why MNHQ were going on about jam and toast! @Welshie2 can you clarify with a 3rd thread under your own name? There are people wishing you well.

She posted the direct link to the third thread herself so presumably it was her - under a different username

I see - looks like we have been had. 😢

I had a suspicion after the HR process updates, they were a load of bollocks. Oh well.

I thought it strange the union rep was sharing the evidence. 🤔

I genuinely don’t understand why people do this?

None of that was as weird as.... the queening chair