AIBU to feel scared ahead of a Clare's Law disclosure call?

[Justpickitup]

So I did a Clare’s law request on a guy I have been seeing for a few months. I’ve never felt the need to do this before but I just had a gut feeling. He is quite protective and needy. Anyway I did it and now I have to have a video call as they are ready to disclose? I’m really really scared.

I imagine they are going to disclose something troubling so I can understand why you are nervous.

Well, it's understandable as you don't know what you're going to find out and it could be something bad about someone you've allowed into your life. That is pretty scary! But thank goodness for Clare's Law eh? Much better to have that knowledge than not.

I can entirely understand why you are nervous but knowledge is power.

I mean they might just want to tell me they haven’t found anything to disclose as apparently they let you know either way. They have asked for my ID

Well done on trusting your gut. Try not be scared of the call. The people on the other end are experts and will guide you through. They are there to help.

Its great you have done it. Regardless of the outcome i think you should end the relationship as something is giving you warning signs.

Are you still seeing him? I’d perhaps not to do so again now, based on the fact they’re likely to disclose something, and even if they don’t that you have found him already worrying in some ways.

It might be that they have something to disclose, OP. Or they might have nothing but still want to check if you are ok and whether there was anything in particular which prompted the Clare's law request.

Either way, it will be good to know what the police know - whether that's something or whether it's nothing.

Even if the police have nothing to share, please be careful and listen to your gut - something made you doubt whether you could trust this guy, and the lack of any disclosures from the police doesn't necessarily mean that there is nothing to worry about.

Stay safe!

You recently applied for a disclosure under Claire’s Law. We have now compiled this and we are ready to disclose the information to you. Can you please contact us on the number below, or reply to this email (please use “reply to all”) with details of your availability? We will need to see some photo ID prior to giving you the information.

Im Not going to sleep tonight am I?

Well done for making the application. Goodluck. Whatever the outcome is, please consider it carefully. There was a reason why you have requested this and you should trust your gut.
The last guy I dated appeared amazing but a little controlling and possessive. Turns out he stripped and beat his ex wife. She fled back to her home country and he convinced her to drop the case against him. They told me what he was accused of and the result was no further action. I was stupid and believed his story that he caught her cheating. My karma was he ended up hitting me too.

yes my new partner said he was cheated on too. I can speculate all I like but I won’t know anything until tomorrow

I think that responding via video call is an option some Police forces have when dealing with issues of this kind, OP.

It may be that they have processed the request and not found anything, but want to give you the opportunity to explain in privacy what led to your concern. Doing it this way allows you to discuss your worries without the person you are worried about knowing.

you have absolutely done the right thing and from the email it seems like they have something to share. My 18 year old DD did one recently and although he didn’t have any convictions they shared some details regarding an allegation made about him so that she could decide to continue seeing him or not. It was a hard no from her and hopefully if they share something it will be the same for you. Try not to worry

I was shocked by what I learned, but I was so pleased I found out sooner rather than later, don't be worried - Are you still seeing the guy?

I had a call like this, OP. There was nothing to disclose. There’s a chance that this is the case here.

Why is he still your partner if you are concerned enough to do a Clare’s Law application?

I hope it isn’t too bad for you OP. Are there things that made you feel you needed to do the request?

What kind of aspects have worried you, OP?

It doesn't sound as though he is a good match for you regardless of the outcome tomorrow.

Why do you think the fact that they asked you to show your ID is significant? They just need to ensure they are sharing the information with the correct person. This is true even if there is nothing to share.

Well done for doing this. There might be nothing to disclose, but trusting the gut suggests otherwise. Are you safe until you hear the results?

I am yes

As the saying goes , "Better Safe than Sorry"

Wishing you the best.

Would they send that email though if there was nothing to disclose?

What made you put the application in?