AIBU to feel upset there are no photos of my proposal?

[KatieHW]

DP proposed to me a couple of weeks ago. I feel really sad he didn’t arrange for anyone to capture this, there’s no photos let alone videos. I have said to him in the past that if I was to ever get engaged then it would be important for me to be able to look back on it in the future. When I put in my friends group chat I was engaged they all asked to see what happened and it was embarrassing to say DP didn’t think of this.

There is no point to this site any more. So many posts are fake. It’s such a waste of time. Pity

Through younger colleagues I have heard similar (I started a thread a while ago about a young colleague being pissed off that her BF hadnt done an official asking of her to be his GF) so that doesnt surprise me. What does surprise me is that the men concerned are prepared to do it!

Mind you, young colleagues BF did eventually do the BF/GF "proposal" with roses, night away etc and has cheated on her several times since. But as he buys her back with holidays and expensive gifts, maybe it works for them. Depressing as hell to me.

Then pay attention this time when posters discuss what they have got for their kids.

Eh? Why should she pay attention? Maybe she’s not interested in random kids’ Christmas shopping list requests.

😆
Hark at you instructing someone to pay attention to something she has zero interest in, rather than accept her viewpoint.

Looking at all of her replies this is clearly trolling and antagonising. She mentioned all the 'older people's not understanding but wanting a proposal to be private is still very much a thing as a 'youngish' person who got engaged and married in this era. You can use your words to tell your friends and show them a pic of your ring but surely your future fiance would have said things to you that he doesn't want anyone else to hear? I remember my proposal very well and it was very simple but meant a lot to me. My husband is very introverted and would have hated to be filmed so even though I would have loved to have had fireworks and elaborate plans that's not him at all so it would have no meaning. I smile telling the story of the proposal because it's very him and us. I'd recommend some b12 and omega 3 supplements if you're struggling to remember.

'Pay attention' to what other people buy for their children? Erm, why should literally anyone care? What an odd thing to say.

He surprised you with a trip to Rome to propose but you're still embarrassed to tell your friends he didn't think to take photos or arrange someone else to video it and you feel sad he didn't think to do this??? OK then. Good luck to your future husband

As everyone says, this isn’t a thing and should remain not a thing!

It’s quite possible to remember things in your head without photos/ a video to “look back on”. We should all be enjoying the moment more!

This is so staggeringly rude!

A proposal is still a proposal.

20-40 years ago is hardly the dark ages - people had cameras even then!

Life is not a social media feed.

Presumably it depends on how many CCTV cameras there are where you live!

I once shared a gondala with a proposing couple, in Venice. Gondolas are cheap if you book them online. The couple were very annoyed to discover that they'd got to share the gondola with other people. They wanted us all to be chucked off. This was not an option, it costs more for a private gondola and we had all booked the cheap deal.
The groom to be proposed on the crowded gondola and filmed it on his phone.
It may sound romantic having a proposal on a gondola, in Venice. No it's not. There was no element of surprise, the bride to be was arranging things. There was no privacy. It was all for "the Gram". I don't know if I feature on the engagement photos. I may be plastered all over the gram. I wish them well. Nice thought. I can think of nicer places in Venice to get engaged.

🤣🤣 sounds like a comedy sketch! I'd have loved/been so cringed out by that! Why on earth did they go ahead??

OP needs to get DP to up his game. Meghan Markle, allegedly, is in discussions about making a reality show of her and Harry's vow renewal after eight years of marriage.

On their reality show there is footage of her setting up filming of the marriage proposal for her now ex-best friend Jessica Mulroney. So spontaneous!

I remember your thread! It’s a strange world in some parts! I am also a bit surprised by how some people (men and women) will bend over backwards for an apparently insane partner, but I don’t usually say anything unless they ask directly 😁

Were you there? Don’t remember it? Was it sweet and lovely and romantic? Then surely you’ll remember it forever without needing photos?? I think seeing it from a third person perspective would be weird…?

I know the footage you mean. Very hard to watch. 'It's happening!' Jessica must have been a co-conspirator. Harry is so feeble, allowing a private moment to be hijacked. In the engagement interview, she said it was a surprise and they were roasting a chicken in their cottage. It was a lie, one of a series.

Oh my days.

But there are three in their marriage, Harry, Meghan and Netflix.

Four if you count Marcus Anderson.

Your fiance needs to klnow his worth and run a mile if the first thing you thought of when he proposed (on a surprise trip to ROME no less), the first thing you thought of was that he didn't arrange a photographer.

@KatieHW - going back to your ageist point about us dinosaurs not understanding how the world works now - I would point out that two of my dses have got engaged, and neither of them nor their lovely partners have felt the need to broadcast the whole thing on social media or to their friends/family.

Both boys planned trips to somewhere special (though ds2's proposal was kiboshed by a blizzard, and he had to come up with a plan B at short notice), and both of them simply took selfies of themselves and their fiancees wearing the engagement rings. Both were simple and beautiful, and very meaningful.

So I would argue that a social media extravaganza is not the norm these days, except amongst people for whom appearances matter more than real feelings.

We had all bought our tickets online, then had to meet as a group and load onto a gondola. It's all quite commercial really, but everyone wants to say they've been on a gondola in venice. We knew that we would be sharing a boat and were OK with that.
The couple concerned weren't expecting to share a gondola. It threw them off kilter. So they demanded that we should all be chucked off. They were told no.
Having made their plans, they went ahead with it. However, the bride knew all about the ring. No surprise. Lots of photos. We thought it was all rather sweet and silly.
I would have chosen a quiet square in venice - there are plenty of them, or the lido, or guidecca. A little romantic restaurant. Not a crowded Gondola in a tourist area.
My husband proposed sitting in a car on a pub car park. There are no photos.