Am I being harsh to finish with my date over his ‘home cooked’ dinner?

[WeeksJa]

I’ve had a few dates with a man over the last couple of months, and he invited me over to his last night for what he promised would be a ‘home cooked’ dinner. He knows I like my food and eat healthily/well.

This is what he served up:

Starter - Gyoza’s from the supermarket
Dinner - Curry; one of those kits where you fry off the spices and add provided sauce etc
Desert - chocolate brownie (supermarket purchased)

It just felt a bit…low effort. Not what I’d describe as ‘home cooked’.

My friends are divided - a couple say to finish it, a couple say to give him the benefit of the doubt, feedback my disappointment and see if he can redeem himself.

Thoughts welcome!

He could’ve made something really simple like grilled chicken and a nice salad, salads don’t have to be just lettuce tomato and cucumber! I don’t think the op is being awful, he told he’d make her something home cooked. He may as well have ordered a take away!

You sound hard work op

I'd end it so the poor guys dodges the bullet!

"see if he can redeem himself" - lol! Who are you? Gordon Ramsey?

Please dump him, for his sake.

Oh christ you sound like such a precious princess.

Hope you brought a decent bottle of wine round

They're not actually that difficult.

I’m with you op. Decent food is important to me, so I wouldn’t peruse a relationship with someone who didn’t feel the same. You’d just be setting yourself up for future conflict and disappointment.

I suggest you dump this guy and start dating one of your judgemental discerning friends.

It would put me off. There's plenty of simple tasty meals you can make even as a beginner. It's a lack of effort - both on the cooking side of things but also on the thinking side of things.

My dad served tinned soup followed by tinned fruit with condensed milk when he was dating my mum and tried to cook for her.

Strangely it didn't put her off.

I wouldn't care if my partner couldn't cook. I'd much rather gyoza and shop bought curry kit then them trying to do it from scratch and it being vile.

Not everyone is into cooking. It doesn't mean they're not into other interesting things.

Apart from the food, how was he in general as a person? He didn't try and pass off the food as home made did he?

What would you have cooked? I'm interested to know and understand your 'standard'.

If I was only fed a salad at someone's house, I would be starving! Now that would be low effort 😬

Your a rather judgmental and mean that isn't valuable......

You're really conflating frozen gyozas with the other red flags and abuse women talk about here? That's insulting.

This isn't about making an effort - he clearly did - and it's not about having standards. It's about thinking you deserve so much and that means you're not settling. That is not empowering; it's arrogant as @FieryA said.

These unrealistic checkboxes based on pretentions that no can live up to is a surefire way to being single forever. It's like those men who expect their girlfriends to always look put together, never swear, always wear make-up, always maintain a svelte body. No one can live up to that.

Starter - Gyoza’s from the supermarket
Dinner - Curry; one of those kits where you fry off the spices and add provided sauce etc
Desert - chocolate brownie (supermarket purchased)

Replace the brownie with an M&S strawberry tart and I'd marry him!

Not everyone is a good cook! He probably felt embarrassed but wanted you to have a nice dinning experience. He put in effort, just you decided to judge him. Not his issue

You sound very shallow. Poor bloke.

Just curious OP he’s done the same as half the middle classes of MN and used some pre-prepared ingredients - it’s just be bought them from Sainsbury’s rather than Cook. So what’s the difference? If you went to a friends dinner party and she served you a meal she’d bought from Cook would you feed back your disappointment?

I'd chuck him back if he didn't have a well stocked kitchen. Food is one of the great pleasures in life for me and I'd keep looking for someone who shares that with me. A lifetime of mealtime dissatisfaction is a dealbreaker.

Gyozas really aren't that hard.

Good grief, my parents ran a restaurant for years, I’m Chinese and could easily make all of that. I can make all manner of dim sum from scratch but I always have a few ready made ones in my freezer that I just buy.

My housemate was the other kind of Asian as we used to joke and he taught me how to cook curry from scratch, it’s really quite an effort. Grinding spices and simmering for a long time with the bones in for a full flavour.

If you want someone that can really cook well I suggest you write that in your profile. As an aside my very good cook DS was inundated on Hinge due to him posting pictures of food he had cooked along with his handsome face, well I am his Mother.

Agree with the consensus above about standards (yours it seems) but I think much of the problem with his 'cooking' is that it seems to be what a lot of people think is actually cooking - perhaps he thinks that heating up is cooking! As others have said, what is he like in other ways?

One hundred percent! Stay single and cook for yourself!

DEFINITELY leave and let this poor guy be free

This isn’t a “ red flag” FFS (except for him).

You can dump someone for any reason, but you’re likely to find yourself single for a long time if you’re this ridiculous. That may or may not bother you.

Do him a favour and let him go. He did make an effort and you’re too much of a snob to appreciate it.