Found out I have half brother my mum stopped my dad from seeing

[MayaYanney]

Hey guys

a few months ago I learned from a relative that I have a half brother one year older than me.

my father fathered a child in Russia when working there.

the story is allegedly my mother learned about him when she was about to give birth to me.

Allegedly the woman kept quiet she was pregnant and till the kid was one and then decided to tell my dad when my mum was about to give birth to me.

my father kept in contact by phone and visited him till I was 3/4. Think this Lady didnt know about me/my mum, not sure.

then one day she calls mother told her over the phone when she called “it was your choice to give birth. You were 38, last chance to have a kid. You wanted the kid for yourself so now raise him yourself” and hanged up.

some time later this woman called my mother had her friend say wrong phone number, this phone was sold.

my father never spoke to him after that. I guess he thought she disappeared again and wanted nothing to do with him? Idk? I am not sure if he continued paying child support.

now obviously you can’t stop a father who wants to see his kid but my father is a very weird man. He also has a relationship with my other much older half sister from previous marriage because her mother kept in contact. I really believe if my mother didn’t do this he would still be in contact with this boy.

now my mother says

it’s not her fault she found while married and pregnant he has a kid and she was very sick of this woman being annoying and calling non stop, very often, for hours when they were busy chatting about their son. Says “I was just sick of her calling constantly! We couldn’t get anything done! Maybe if she didn’t call everyday and wasn’t so annoying!!!”

I don’t know how to feel about all this. I am disturbed my mother did this. Am I right to think this was very cruel? And look at her differently now? My sister says I’m over reacting.

She obviously knew of your mother's existence when your mother was answering the God Damn phone.

Anyway... you've been told repeatedly that your anger toward your mother is completely unreasonable. You've no idea the bloody stress she would have been under.

You are now trying to say that your mother is using defense tactics... no she isn't. She doesn't need yo defend anything.

If your Dad wanted you to know you had a brother, he would have told you.

every Human is entitled to basic humanity

telling a single mother “get lost he asked me to tell you he doesn’t want anything to do with your kid” is just disgusting.

also she wasn’t harassing my mom, she was calling my dads phone. And no, she wasn’t even told “no” once.

The first time my mother ever spoke to her was when she picked up my dads phone and said what she said.

before that, they never spoke

She wasn't even told no once

It's handy that you can personally recall all the facts so well

What's your point...?

Maybe get therapy it’s not really normal
to be this mad at someone for what is ultimately another adults failures.

OP, listen to PPs. Your DM has done nothing wrong and you are an enabler for your DFs past behaviour.

I bet you wish you hadn’t posted. Ask for your thread to be removed.

My mother literally said this.

I asked her if she tried at least setting boundaries first. Asking dad to tell her less calls. She said no, she just one day picked up my dads phone and told her this

You want people to agree your mum is unforgivable. Unfortunately that isn’t going your way.

Let’s say people agree (which most don’t) what does that give you? What do you want from this?

exactly this.................

Also rather odd that this random women would accept just being told once by a women who she allegedly knew nothing off to disappear and then she just did.

You’ve never made a mistake op? Never told someone to just fuck off and leave you alone in anger?

One sentence from your mother shouldn’t of been able to kill the relationship

You are choosing parts of the story to believe though

Again, none if it matters.

Your Dad fathered multiple children and has evidently failed multiple children. Your mothers only fault was choosing him as a partner, unfortunately.

Why you are so angry about your poor mother who had to live this nightmare is just beyond me.

Where am I making excuses for him?

did you miss the part I said I haven’t spoken to him in decade.

im just disgusted my mother did what she did, I expected better from her

You’re expecting better of your mother because she’s normally a lovely person. She had one mad rant and now she’s the devil.

But you’re expecting more of her than the child’s own parent.

Her mother is still living the nightmare by the sounds of it. Her own daughter is placing blame ( wrongly ) on her for a man's complete incapability to handle his own shit.

Maybe stop having such ludicrous expectations then

Death by a thousand cuts!

you really believe telling a single mother “get lost he wants nothing to do with you” is ok?

my father being horrible makes it what she said to her?

she lost my sympathy when she said this

You totally skipped the part of that persons post where they point out that the number would not have been lost as it would have been on your fathers phone bills .........

Tell me this.

Picking up my fathers phone and telling a single mother on the phone “get lost he said he wants nothing to do with you”

is this ok?

I’m sure she doesn’t need sympathy from someone so closed minded. 😅

So your father impregnated the lady in question before he and your mum were together, and then it came to light that he had another biological child around the time you were born?

I'm kind of surprised by some of the responses, if it wasn't an affair baby.

I can imagine it being an awful position for your mother to be in and she probably wasn't being rational about it but yeah she didn't act brilliantly there - if it all happened as you think.

It was one of those top up credit phones

and even if he could of called that doesn’t change fact what my mother said to this woman

How did your mum know that she was 'a single mother'? The baby was a year old, she might well have been in another relationship and just wanted to speak to the father of her child whilst being extremely happy and fulfilled in her life.

Again op you’ve never said anything in anger you’ve ever regretted?

Never lashed out verbally when you shouldn’t have.

But most people realise nobody is perfect.

She didn’t wish her harm she wished her to fuck off.