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AIBU?

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Found out I have half brother my mum stopped my dad from seeing

230 replies

MayaYanney · 29/04/2026 15:33

Hey guys

a few months ago I learned from a relative that I have a half brother one year older than me.

my father fathered a child in Russia when working there.

the story is allegedly my mother learned about him when she was about to give birth to me.

Allegedly the woman kept quiet she was pregnant and till the kid was one and then decided to tell my dad when my mum was about to give birth to me.

my father kept in contact by phone and visited him till I was 3/4. Think this Lady didnt know about me/my mum, not sure.

then one day she calls mother told her over the phone when she called “it was your choice to give birth. You were 38, last chance to have a kid. You wanted the kid for yourself so now raise him yourself” and hanged up.

some time later this woman called my mother had her friend say wrong phone number, this phone was sold.

my father never spoke to him after that. I guess he thought she disappeared again and wanted nothing to do with him? Idk? I am not sure if he continued paying child support.

now obviously you can’t stop a father who wants to see his kid but my father is a very weird man. He also has a relationship with my other much older half sister from previous marriage because her mother kept in contact. I really believe if my mother didn’t do this he would still be in contact with this boy.

now my mother says

it’s not her fault she found while married and pregnant he has a kid and she was very sick of this woman being annoying and calling non stop, very often, for hours when they were busy chatting about their son. Says “I was just sick of her calling constantly! We couldn’t get anything done! Maybe if she didn’t call everyday and wasn’t so annoying!!!”

I don’t know how to feel about all this. I am disturbed my mother did this. Am I right to think this was very cruel? And look at her differently now? My sister says I’m over reacting.

OP posts:
Tableforjoan · Yesterday 07:27

MayaYanney · 30/04/2026 21:35

A woman being ok with having a deadbeat hubby, supporting his deadbeat ways and supporting that deadbeat dad not seeing his kid will always be immoral and gross

At least she didn’t create more children with a second deadbeat. Silver linings op.

ThePM · Yesterday 08:04

MayaYanney · 29/04/2026 16:28

Tell me this.

Picking up my fathers phone and telling a single mother on the phone “get lost he said he wants nothing to do with you”

is this ok?

Yes it is. Your mother felt threatened by all this and her fight or flight reaction was Fight. In the moment she did what she ‘had’ to do.

You sound so young, so certain, and so lacking in compassion in the way that only people who have never had to make hard choices do.

You need to seriously pipe down, and learn some manners. You are way over-stepping here to an extent that will embarrass when you reach your mother’s age. You have zero grounds to be “disappointed” in your mother.

MayaYanney · Yesterday 09:06

Tableforjoan · Yesterday 07:27

At least she didn’t create more children with a second deadbeat. Silver linings op.

Yeah only because she was too old and couldn’t

OP posts:
DeathNote11 · Yesterday 09:17

MayaYanney · 29/04/2026 15:45

MY FATHER BEING A POS DOESNT CHANGE FACT WHAT MY MOTHER DID WAS IMMORAL

Your mother reacted to an awful situation created by your father. A word to the wise - if you take this out on your mum you'll damage your relationship with her & that would be a huge mistake you'll most likely come to regret. Find a good therapist, work through this properly & don't burn any bridges in the meantime. Wishing you strength, it's an awful situation & I can completely understand why you're lashing out.

Tableforjoan · Yesterday 10:41

MayaYanney · Yesterday 09:06

Yeah only because she was too old and couldn’t

Edited

Maybe view that as her karma, it might help your mind.

In your eyes she took away a child from a dad, so the universe didn’t grant her another child she wanted.

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