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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to feel awkward about only my husband being invited to the wedding?

283 replies

Thewitchofwestminster · 26/04/2026 17:05

I don't know to feel about it.

Both myself and my husband work in an office with 'Jane'. I have always thought we got on well together and we have become friends outside of the workplace, socialising together.

Jane is getting married in a few weeks and has invited my husband to her wedding but not myself. Husband was given an invitation with his name only on and when he queried he was told it was only for him.

If she had come to me and said it was because of costs or if she invited me she would have had to plus one others I would have understood but it is all just a bit weird!

My husband is attending and that is fair enough but it has left me feeling so awkward.

Would you invite just one spouse to a wedding?

OP posts:
Charel2girl5 · Yesterday 03:02

If it was my DH ther is no way he wouldn’t go. What a weird, off the wall situation!

Charel2girl5 · Yesterday 03:03

Would go!

Wtafdidido · Yesterday 03:43

It’s very rude and my husband would 100% turn down the invitation and tell Jane why!

FaceIt · Yesterday 03:55

I just can’t understand people being so rude about invites.
It’s a real shame your DH is going.

Onthemaintrunkline · Yesterday 04:33

I think this invite is extraordinarily strange, and yes rude! I can’t imagine in a month of Sundays my H would want to accept/attend in these circumstances.

LucyLancaster · Yesterday 04:55

Thewitchofwestminster · 26/04/2026 20:23

'Do they socialise alone?
Did he work there before you?'

They don't socialise alone.
I worked there before him although he was on Jane's team before I was.

How long was he in Jane’s team before you joined?

AchingAils · Yesterday 05:04

Very very weird. I'd not attend a wedding if my partner wasn't invited and I absolutely know he wouldn't either.
I think it's strange to do and strange he's going anyway.

Some of the posts dissecting the relationships and splitting hairs I think are monumentally irrelevant. It doesn't matter if one knew her 3 days longer or had lunch with her once yet the other never has.
They're married.
They both know her - well.
They both work with her every week.

Absolutely no excuse to do this other than be controversial and cause waves.
I would, and have as have anyone at any wedding I've ever been to, invited the other half of a couple I don't even know because it's the done thing. It's batshit not to, as batshit as some of the posts dissecting this. Some things are as simple as she's got an issue with you and is choosing this to make an awkward example of it.

mixedcereal · Yesterday 05:09

Only your husband being invited is weird, but I think your husbands attitude to it is even weirder!!

Friendlygingercat · Yesterday 05:32

If there is a separate evening part to the wedding - say a disco or bar drinks with a few dozen people invited - I would make a point of joining my husband just for the hell of it. Say something like "I thought I would come and join Jack and wish you every happiness."

Reminds me of when I was in my 20s and a bit of a bolshy bitch. A colleague invited everyone in the department except me. Its the kind of thing you just dont do in a professional setting. She even invited others within earshot. You invite the people you dont like and hope they will refuse. None of the others realised I hadnt been invited. I simply rocked up with two of them and a bottle of wine in hand. The hostess could say nothing in front of the other guests without making an scene. I even proposed a toast and thanked her for her hospitality. Her face was a study. A few weeks later I organised anight out and made a point of inviting her in front of others. She turned on her heel and walked off.

Francestein · Yesterday 05:58

Jane’s reasoning is flawed. She sucks. Get her a cruddy statement present. Like a charity goat.

Arlingtonchase · Yesterday 06:31

She is being ridiculous and very rude, and your DH should be showing he realises this by not going.

MyLimeGuide · Yesterday 06:34

Jane is a bitch.

Flowersforyourchocolateprettyplease · Yesterday 06:37

Your DH has no loyalty to you.

He should have declined the invite when he found out you weren't included.

He shouldn't have brought back home that negative and divisive invite.

Going to celebrate a union whilst creating cracks in yours is poor form and not a sign of a good husband.

Soccerislife · Yesterday 06:40

It’s weird. It’s weirder your DH is going.

But the weirdest thing is husband and wife working together in a small team. Terrible idea.

Weatheronshuffle · Yesterday 06:43

Jane is weird. Your husband is even weirder. He loves a night out so much he'll let his wife be treated poorly by a joint colleague. Weird.

Hadalifeonce · Yesterday 06:43

So, his wife and his mother have both told your DH that this is weird/rude....... and he can't see it?

pilates · Yesterday 06:45

Yes strange and rude.

I would find it hard to continue socialising with her.

HelmholtzWatson · Yesterday 06:48

It's her wedding, she can do what she likes. Very similar thing happened to me recently, and didn't give it a second thought.

BogusBargins · Yesterday 06:56

To add to this, how many posts do we see on here of couples tying themselves in knots about their wedding invites and plus 1s as it seriously is such a worry about offending people - to me the reason for inviting your DH and not you is to send a clear message ~ which is so incredibly rude, and hurtful your DH is choosing not to see it.

MsGreying · Yesterday 06:56

Thewitchofwestminster · 26/04/2026 18:38

Answering questions.
Gina I cannot think of any reason at all outside of costs or inviting me meaning she would have to invite others. They have not worked specifically together more than others and I am not loud, obnoxious or anything at parties! If anything husband is the one more likely to be loud.

Husband just said he has been invited and thinks it will be a nice day and he wants to support his friend on her big day so he wants to go. He did not think it was weird at all until he was chatting to his Mum and mentioned it and she thinks it is rude. In fact he was rather put out that we both thought it was weird.

Bosses wife does not work there although we have met her on some occasions. I mentioned this to husband and he thinks Jane knows the boss would not come alone where as husband is ridiculously social and will chat to anyone so won't be the slightest bit bothered about not knowing people.
I did wonder if boss had just presumed he would have a plus one and presumed his wife was invited and has been talking about it and Jane has just gone with it and added her rather than look bad infront of boss.

No drip feed. Husband does not know anyone from the family at all apart from Jane, he has only met the groom briefly when we have gone out for dinner or drinks after work and he has picked Jane up or once when he attended too. (Groom works away often)

We are are a team of six (excluding the boss). Husband is the only one invited but Jane has openly said she does not particularly like other two members of the team. There is one other person who I was surprised was not invited as although they don't socialise outside of work they are very close within the workplace. I am the only one she does socialise with who is not invited.

I am not actually bothered at all about attending. I just thought it was weird and the thought of going back into work while Husband and her chat about the wedding made me feel a bit awkward.

Your husband chatting to her about her wedding?

Well that makes me wonder just how close they are.

He's chosen to go. I'd be annoyed with him as much as not being invited..

Weddings are not normally the place to invite the man only to. Not when you all socialise.

Floralibra · Yesterday 07:00

that’s so rude OP! Jane sounds horrible but I’d also be really disappointed in your husband.

He should have your back and declined the invite. If it was me I’d be really hurt by his actions more than hers.

Oddlyfull · Yesterday 07:01

Who can guess next thread from OP?

Im going with “seen inappropriate messages between H and his colleague, Jane”

EstherGreenwood63 · Yesterday 07:04

She is very ill-mannered and your dh is a dick. No way on earth my dh would want to attend under these circs. I would tell him plainly my view on this just to give him the benefit of the doubt. If he still attended, not sure what I would do tbh but he would be reduced in my estimation.

Butterme · Yesterday 07:05

I’m not sure why your DH is getting stuck here, if he wants to go to his friends wedding then he should do.

It’s not weird that you’ve not been invited, as no one else on the team has.

But it is weird/rude that she’s not acknowledged it you or DH to say they need to keep numbers down etc.

I don’t think it’s anything personal to you.
She sees DH as more of a friend friend and you as more of a work friend.
When you socialise, she likely sees it as her socialising with DH but you coming too.
I would try not to overthink it.

Poodlenose · Yesterday 07:06

So it didn't even occur to your DH that this was weird and rude and to turn down the invite?

Does he have form for not considering you in his decisions OP?

The Jane issue going forward is one thing, the husband issue is another. And a big one at that.

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