AIBU to feel awkward about only my husband being invited to the wedding?

[Thewitchofwestminster]

I don't know to feel about it.

Both myself and my husband work in an office with 'Jane'. I have always thought we got on well together and we have become friends outside of the workplace, socialising together.

Jane is getting married in a few weeks and has invited my husband to her wedding but not myself. Husband was given an invitation with his name only on and when he queried he was told it was only for him.

If she had come to me and said it was because of costs or if she invited me she would have had to plus one others I would have understood but it is all just a bit weird!

My husband is attending and that is fair enough but it has left me feeling so awkward.

Would you invite just one spouse to a wedding?

It’s very weird and rude from Jane not to invite you and from your DH to accept the invite . He should think really hard about the situation and reconsider going.

His stance about support is ridiculous tbh. What kind of support Jane might need from him at her wedding?

The only way imo that this could be acceptable is if a group of work colleagues had been invited all without their spouses and partners. Otherwise that's too weird and I'd have the hump of all humps!

Social etiquette is obviously not Jane's strong point. Your husband's loyalty is to you. He should not be going. They're both dicks in this situation.

Because it was a social event for everyone who worked in that particular industry, and most of the other people did have had their partners with them. Also, we knew a lot of the people who would be going, so they would immediately wonder why DH was there without me.

Are the other guests likely to ask your H why you aren’t there? If so, what will he say?

This is brilliant!

Jane is unbelievably rude and your husband should not go.

That’s so true. I work with some married couples and it would be incredibly weird if only one of them went to a mutual colleague’s wedding - well unless there was some sort of childcare issues involved, which doesn’t seem to be the case.

The poor OP is being humiliated on different levels. She’s been excluded as a colleague she’s been excluded as a friend and she’s been excluded as a plus one. She’s being humiliated by her husband attending under the circumstances, and then will be further humiliated by the fact her office would know she’d how badly she’d been humiliated.

And her husband doesn’t see this? He is either sleeping with/hopes to be sleeping with Jane, or a complete deadweight.

she’s not your friend, and your not so darling h is not very loyal.

Oh please say you have spoken to your husband since your original post @Thewitchofwestminsterand he isn’t going.
It’s just weird and wrong.

Hope we get an update on this!

That’s really weird. Im not surprised you feel awkward. That is awkward. My DH wouldn’t go in those circumstances

Or has one of Jane's mates got a thing for the DH? Or is it even worse that that?

Im just hoping that Jane is just socially inept or just plain rude rather than calculating.

"He is a people pleaser"

Well he isn't a wife pleaser. My dh wouldn't go, as it is a slight to me.
She is very rude.

Jane hasn’t just made it abundantly clear that she doesn’t want you at her wedding she has made it obvious to everyone else at work she doesn’t by only inviting your H! It will be noticed and spoke about by the other two members of your work team! It’s a deliberate divide and conquer tactic that shows Jane is toxic and not afraid of making the atmosphere at work awkward or uncomfortable for other members of the team let alone a married couple who she works and socialises with.
Your H doesn’t have your back at work or outside of it and got annoyed when his mum pointed out that you should have been invited as you both work with her. You don’t invite one without the other and it’s not simply an oversight on Jane’s part as she invited the boss’s partner to her wedding even though she doesn’t know her! Even the boss and partner will find it odd you’ve been excluded @Thewitchofwestminster and if I were the boss I’d be worried one of you isn’t t a great fit for such a small team at work.

Sorry, I'm pretty much of the opinion that you do things with your husband together and separately. I would happily go to a wedding alone and my husband would too - BUT - this is really odd. She does know you and I think it really rude and definitely wouldn't socialise again with her. The one I would be really miffed with though would be my husband for even entertaining the idea. Wrong, very wrong.

She’s a rude bitch and I’m gobsmacked your DH is going !
I wouldn’t try to change his mind.
I wouldn’t discuss it at all but it would change my opinion of him.
I’d honestly think that ‘ people pleasing ‘ was more important to him than having my back .