AIBU to feel awkward about only my husband being invited to the wedding?

[Thewitchofwestminster]

I don't know to feel about it.

Both myself and my husband work in an office with 'Jane'. I have always thought we got on well together and we have become friends outside of the workplace, socialising together.

Jane is getting married in a few weeks and has invited my husband to her wedding but not myself. Husband was given an invitation with his name only on and when he queried he was told it was only for him.

If she had come to me and said it was because of costs or if she invited me she would have had to plus one others I would have understood but it is all just a bit weird!

My husband is attending and that is fair enough but it has left me feeling so awkward.

Would you invite just one spouse to a wedding?

I’d assume number restrictions, I’d really not be fussed about this

You, DH and Jane are all on the same team? You yourself socialise with Jane? This is weird AF.

I don’t understand why your husband is going to the wedding. His presence is not required. This is absolutely a send a card with a token gift situation.

How many are in the small team Inc you Jane and your husband?

Well maybe he wants to go? I would.

Really?
I'm not a wedding person but I recognise rudeness when it's so blatant.
And disloyalty.

In those circumstances I think my DH would have declined and we’d have sent a gift from both of us

I think this “Jane” is astoundingly rude. And I really don’t think your DH should go to this wedding. As for “we have become friends outside of the workplace, socialising together”, clearly not any more.

In a normal work situation it would be fine.
But in this situation it's just weird

Really. I honestly don’t get the entitlement to go everywhere with your spouse. It’s a small team, who knows how many others Past the op and hee husband. I’m quite capable of going to a wedding without my husband and vice Versa and I would certainly not consider it rude if I wasn’t invited to a colleagues wedding.

people are so weird on here.

Pretty rude. If you’re married, it’s usual to invite both spouses to a wedding. I think you need to distance yourself from- and really, your DH should decline the invitation. Your colleague is very rude.

Wow, you’d end a friendship if you don’t get an invite to a wedding. Bloody hell/

I’m guessing some folks in here either just love a good wedding or don’t get out much?

It's not about entitlement.
It's about etiquette and manners.

This would be my worst nightmare- a wedding where I know pretty no one and my partner isn’t there to chat to. Why on earth is your DH going?

Leave him to it.

Don't get involved.

Do you have kids, if so, tell him to sort out a sleepover as you're out with your friends (ben and jerry) that night.

I think just inviting a workmate when you don’t their spouse is fine but not when they are in the same place. What explanation have they given?

What etiquette. You have to always invite the wife or your whole team. Everyone you socialise with. Who made up this rule?

It is if you are close to the couple. When it comes to work colleagues it is usually fine to invite without partners on the assumption you invite plenty of them so they have a group of people they know and can chat to. Inviting only 1 or 2 without partners is strange.

I agree that it’s strange that the boss and his wife are invited (does the boss’ wife worth there too?) yet your husband has been invited as a lone person when you socialise with them and work with them.
if it’s a numbers thing they would be better if not inviting your DH.
what does DH think about it? Does he feel it weird you’re not invited?

Very odd choice then!!

Both weird and rude in equal measure.
I’d expect my husband to put me first and decline the invite.

It’s odd that the two people she socialises with, and one is not invited, rude I think! Why doesn’t OP make the cut, but her DH does?

No, it's weird. You always invite spouses, and nowadays that would include long-term partners. Most people offer a plus-one anyway, so even boy/girl friends that don't live together often get invited.
Exceptions might be during a pandemic, or if you were an ex/had been problematic. Yes, she can do what she wants, including asking everyone to take a ten week holiday in Australia, wearing bikinis made from real diamonds, but it is weird, and if I were your husband I would definitely decline.

I think it is rude and strange she has only invited your husband.

Personally I would have been unhappy if my husband said he was going under those circumstances but I know younger people do things differently nowadays. What happened to a married couple being a team and supporting each other? My husband would never have gone without me under those circumstances because he'd know I was hurt and it's horrible and weird (almost spiteful) if you both know her equally well?