AIBU to feel awkward about only my husband being invited to the wedding?

[Thewitchofwestminster]

I don't know to feel about it.

Both myself and my husband work in an office with 'Jane'. I have always thought we got on well together and we have become friends outside of the workplace, socialising together.

Jane is getting married in a few weeks and has invited my husband to her wedding but not myself. Husband was given an invitation with his name only on and when he queried he was told it was only for him.

If she had come to me and said it was because of costs or if she invited me she would have had to plus one others I would have understood but it is all just a bit weird!

My husband is attending and that is fair enough but it has left me feeling so awkward.

Would you invite just one spouse to a wedding?

I think your husband is weird for not getting how strange this is.

I thought that.
Seems a deliberate snub.

If anything husband is the one more likely to be loud.

Is he the entertainment?

I'm really relaxed about spouses socialising without each other and having male female friends but this is next level. Its rude. She's telling you she dislikes you. Also really disrespectful that your dh is going. I'd be cutting her off. Go for the slow fade after the wedding. He'd better support you and drop her.

Are you sure they aren't shagging?

I think this is weird. I wouldn’t feel awkward, but I would be weirded out if my DH went without me. She’s got balls I give her that. If he’s going and you’re ok with it then just make a joke about instead of showing it bothers you, but I would give her a wide berth. She just sounds odd. Of course in MN world of black and white, she can invite whoever she wants to her wedding, but there are also social graces and manners. It’s just bad manners to invite one half of a couple you know, spend time with and work with equally.

How awful. Your husband is being exceptionally dim. I don't know what to suggest OP but this is not normal or okay.

Wow that’s really odd what did Jane say when your husband questioned it?

And yes I agree with others your husband should decline the invite and have your back on this.

It’s weird and rude because you have a relatively equal relationship with her to your husband and yet she’s cherry picked him. I get if she invited the boss, you, dh and other colleague and left two out it would look bad but surely easy to invite no one.

id be miffed if my husband choose to go.

This is weird, the 3 of you work together in the same team and also socialise together, but only your H is invited? This is a deliberate snub. My H would not go.

It's odd your H is defending this robustly; something smells off, OP.

Glad his mum also thought it rude. I’d go without dh and he’d go without me for work colleagues or school friends if he didn’t know them but in this case, you socialise and work together. She’s sending a message. An unpleasant one. Neither dh or I would attend in this situation.

We don’t know Jane
But would be weird for her to suddenly decide this unless she had a compelling reason.

Bizarre situation!!
I can’t believe your H is going either!!
I’d be really annoyed about both issues tbh grrr

Inviting work colleagues without a plus 1 isn’t unusual, especially if they were going as a group. Inviting 1 colleague and not their partner that is also a colleague is odd. If it was us, I wouldn’t tell DH he couldn’t go but he probably wouldn’t go.

This! Very rude, and also how can your husband not see that?! I would be annoyed at him for going if it was me

This, 100%. And like at least one PP has said, I'd be.cooling the out of work friendship right off too.

It is odd if she works and socialised with you both equally. If (say for financial reasons) she could only invite one of you then if anything the 'girl-code' should've meant it was you that she chose!

She can jog on.

It's your husband being willing to attend without you that's really the issue. You both work with this woman. Both socialise with her. But only he gets an invitation? Where's the solidarity with his wife, who's being disrespected?

The real question at this point is, is your husband still going?

I am equally shocked your husband didn't think twice about going without you.

I'd flat out ask her where's my invite and tell her she's made you feel very awkward

I think there will be more to all this. That we aren’t ever going to be privy to.

If I were your DH I wouldn’t be going.

I was in a similar situation but by then DP wasn’t working there anymore and was away during that weekend, so I ended up going with a few friends. We all collectively regretted it lol it sucked.

If this woman openly says she doesn't like 2 members of your team it sounds actually as though she doesn't like you either OP but hasn't come out and openly said it because she DOES like your H and wants to continue to socialise with him so she is willing to put up with your presence on the social outings.

Are you sure there is nothing going on with this woman and your H given that her fiance works away a lot?

So he asked if you were invited and she said no and that’s the end of the conversation ?
weird .

I think it’s fine to invite workmates without their partners generally.

It would also be ok to invite your team without partners and not invite a partner who worked in a different team. Its very weird to invite one person from your team and not the other when the other is their spouse that you equally socialise with.

Yeah I reckon this is because between you, her, your husband there is only 3 other people and she doesn’t want to invite them all.

I don’t really get responses in here, usually people hate weddings. But any sniff of not being invited and it’s like crime of tne century.

im fairly relaxed. I’d tell him to have a great time, send a lovely present and then go have lovely day.