AIBU to feel awkward about only my husband being invited to the wedding?

[Thewitchofwestminster]

I don't know to feel about it.

Both myself and my husband work in an office with 'Jane'. I have always thought we got on well together and we have become friends outside of the workplace, socialising together.

Jane is getting married in a few weeks and has invited my husband to her wedding but not myself. Husband was given an invitation with his name only on and when he queried he was told it was only for him.

If she had come to me and said it was because of costs or if she invited me she would have had to plus one others I would have understood but it is all just a bit weird!

My husband is attending and that is fair enough but it has left me feeling so awkward.

Would you invite just one spouse to a wedding?

'Do they socialise alone?
Did he work there before you?'

They don't socialise alone.
I worked there before him although he was on Jane's team before I was.

Yes I agree, if I were to receive an invite and my partner wasn’t included as in this situation, I definitely wouldn’t be going.

I think your husband just happily skipping off to the wedding of the person who has snubbed you hard, is pretty poor form.

I think it's awful for your DH to still attend. He should stand by you.

Completely agree, and I’d be speaking to her too!

The longer I'm a member here the more I become flabergasted at some of the threads. I'm not accustomed to writing this but as far as I'm concerned I would make sure my DH was under no illusion regarding this invite. If you accept it then make no mistake we are over & Jane can stick her goady invite where the sun don't shine.

👍

Absolutely this.

If you didn’t work there, then fine.

But as you not only work alongside them both in a small team but also socialise with Jane, this is a massive snub. I’m appalled that your DH doesn’t see this. By attending he’s validating her behaviour.

I wouldn’t be socialising with Jane again. Nor would I be “friendly”. I’d be perfectly polite and pleasant - but that’s it.

As is often said on here: when someone shows you who they are, believe them.

I would also be really disappointed in DH too. Socialising separately is fine - this is completely different. You’ve been purposefully excluded by someone you considered a friend and he’s happy to go along with that. Honestly, I’d be fuming.

Edit for typo!

I can’t believe your husband is choosing to go rather than stand by his wife!! It’s completely weird. She obviously doesn’t like you. He should decide, who matters more? His wife or his colleague.

I think it’s really rude of her but extremely odd that your husband is choosing to go alone. In that position I’d never go if my husband couldn’t and I know my husband wouldn’t either.
He should be putting you first IMOH

So he wants to attend and spend the day with his boss and bosses wife. A nice cosy 3 some there!

That's really strange and pretty rude of her.

I think your husband agreeing to go without you under those circumstances is pretty weird too. I'd stop the socializing with her. She's not your friend. I'd have a talk with your husband about why she's treating him differently. Is he senior to her because she's sucking up to him (and offending you) for some reason.

And what’s wrong with that?

Was he on Jane’s team for long before you?

The only way I’d see that as remotely acceptable is if it turned out your DH had worked with, and been friends with, Jane for donkeys years before you.

So basically if he’d be on the guest list even if he was no longer on her team. But that doesn’t really sound like the case.

This is blooming weird

And your DH needs to develop a bit of empathy and realise this is pretty rude and hurtful towards you, his wife, and therefore he shouldn’t be going. He doesn’t need to cause a drama, he can just make an excuse but I certainly don’t think he should be going.

It's really bloody rude and I'd be disappointed if my DH went knowing I'd been deliberately snubbed.

Weird for her to have just invited him, even weirder he’s intending on going

He shouldn't go. Why would he?

My DP wouldn’t go. I was recently only invited to a night do and him the full day do. He politely declined and we both attended the night do. I would have done the same also. Very odd.

Jane can go fuck herself.

Very odd.

I can see a scenario where she invited just the boss & DH - so they would know each other. Inviting you would mean also inviting other nice colleague, which would make it obvious she didn’t like the other 2 colleagues. However boss has made that look weird by bringing his wife, so it looks singular the DH has been invited on his own.

The most weird thing is that DH didn’t pick up that it was rude that you weren’t invited.

That scenario is definitely possible. However Jane seems comfortable inviting a colleague without his wife, another colleague, so I doubt she is too sensitive about offending people she works with.

There's no way this isn't rude. I would be expecting my husband to decline and I'd tell him that i think it's shitty that he hasn't out of solidarity

👏👏👏

Odd. Very odd