To be furious with DH for this?

[Coffeecherrymama]

First night home since giving birth and DH has gone out with his mates drinking and still isn’t home and he isn’t answering any calls or messages. He didn’t give me any choice, he just said he was going out with his “mates” and then left and said he would be back before 10pm but he’s still not home! I’m so angry that he has just left me here with our newborn when he knows I’m struggling but his mum says I’m overreacting and that he’s “entitled to a night out”! I feel like I could just cry to be honest! AIBU?

More to the point, a new mum shouldn't be left alone for long (if at all possible). Complications can show up after you've been discharged e.g. retained placenta or eclampsia.

What did he do once home with the first child?

25 acting like a teen, no sense of responsibility. Sorry OP, you’re with a Moron!

Send this man baby back to his mummy

Chill out -I was glad my DH was out and I got my lovely baby to myself

Please
Are you a man
If you are a woman you are a disgrace
Shame on you
Making excuses for piss poor behaviour

Why are people being weird?

Yes he shouldn’t have gone out but the fact is he did and he said he’d be home by 10.

Given the time the OP started the thread, I simply asked if he was late at the time of the call 🤷‍♀️

Why are you justifying bad behaviour

Going out your first night home is pretty shitty. But don’t get him mum involved, she’s going to be no help and just make you feel worse.

She knows he’s being a twat but giving a balanced argument to not add fuel to the fire, basically trying to keep the peace.

So he takes after his mum!
No, he's being selfish.

Is he home now?
No, he should not have gone out on your first night home with a new baby, that was selfish.
However I hope he is now back home and contrite, not too drunk.

From either man or woman imo - disgrace indeed.

He is still not home now and he’s still not answering any calls or messages

Not everyone is the same as you, the OP also said he was aware she was struggling.

Not sure who is the biggest prick - DH or MIL. They deserve each other 🤢

I’m asking a simple question.

But as it seems to have caused a few mini meltdowns, I’ll leave you all to it.

She said it's their second, so yes, I would be worried, as presumably she wouldn't have had another if he'd acted like this with the firstborn.
But it's really strange if his mum's just started being out of order too-I assume you would have challenged her before if she had been unreasonable first time round, OP? I'm all for grandparents helping out, but not for their presumably adult kids asking their views about going out!

Jesus.

He should have stayed home with his family and enjoyed the first evening having the new baby at home. He should be looking after you, not swanning off at this time. So sorry, OP, and for your MIL too.

Get him to come home? He’s not a child. He’s a father of two.

Don't waste your energy. Focus on you and your children. Do what you need to do. If he wants to be a dad he will be, if not, not.

What a prize prick. If this was my son id be ib the pub myself marching him home. Going out to wet the babies head I don't see an issue with, but once you are all settled home and youre doing okay and happy with it. Not your first fucking night home. I'd message him tell him the doors getting locked as you're going to sleep and he can go to his mums to stay the night. I'm so shocked anyone would find this acceptable on your first night home.

Appalling behaviour from DH and MIL. I can’t believe he left you to go drinking and I can’t believe MIL said he’s entitled to celebrate. He should be at home looking after you. I’m so sorry.

He chose to miss his first evening at home with his new baby? That's disgraceful.

You were shit stirring
He should not be going out boozing in the first place
He should be at home celebrating the baby by spending time with baby and doing his duties as a father
And supporting his partner.
Attitudes like yours continue the bar being so low that it's in hell