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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DP returned steaming on first night out after baby

235 replies

Elz23 · 24/04/2026 22:02

DP and I have a 3 week old DC. Tonight was the first chance he has had to see his friends to ‘wet the baby’s head’ as it has been so full on. He said he’d be a couple of hours at most, meeting them at our local pub at 4 once they’d finished work.

He turned up an hour ago, having not got back to my messages asking where he was. He said his phone died, but he is steaming drunk. He crashed in waking DC, who I’d spent ages getting to fall asleep. He’s got a stain on the back of his beige shorts (it looks like shit) and has spent most of the time since he got home locked in the bathroom complaining about his stomach. He’s told me he had 8 pints and shots, as people kept buying them for him.

He says he needed that blow out after the last few weeks and that he will happily let me do the same when I want to. I’ve told him I don’t feel ready for that. He says two of his friends went out earlier than him when they became dad’s. Am I wrong to find this excessive so early on?

OP posts:
Thechaseison71 · Today 16:48

Mistymaglets · Today 13:05

Very, very rarely?
Well today already there's two threads about DHs losing the run of themselves while the OP is at home with a new baby. Two.
And in the history of MN I suspect there will be many, many similar posts

How many threads can we count started by Dads complaining that they're at home with baby while new mother is out getting so drunk she shits in her pants ????

Everyone is free to decide what they will accept in a relationship and apparently quite a few women will accept binge drinking and public bowel movements.
That's great for all the people like you who think it's trivial behaviour. You are welcome to these absolute gems.

Well it's MUMSNET so unlikely to have that many dads complaining the mum is out on the lash

BMW6 · Today 16:57

Thechaseison71 · Today 16:48

Well it's MUMSNET so unlikely to have that many dads complaining the mum is out on the lash

I'll take a bet that there won't be many, if any at all, on Dadsnet......

Thechaseison71 · Today 17:08

BMW6 · Today 16:57

I'll take a bet that there won't be many, if any at all, on Dadsnet......

Is there such a page?

Peanutbutteryday · Today 17:10

Thechaseison71 · Today 16:45

Obviously there is but how is a husband that's out at work 9 hours a day giving Anyone support. ? It was only 5 hours the OPs husband was out anyway

So if you can't cope with looking after your own baby if husband goes out drinking one day for a few hours then how do you manage when he's out everyday at work

Edited

I mean he’s earning money for the family whilst working so I do deem that as support myself but fair enough if you don’t we probably have different types of husbands 😂

RhaenysRocks · Today 17:17

And they wonder why female dynamics are so poisonous. Far more disturbing than a new dad overdoing it as a one off..we have superior 'my standards are better than yours' , 'women who tolerate this are to blame for their car crash of a marriage' (which is apparently a certainty)..a gleeful prediction in fact. And now 'my husband is better than yours. Christ. Why can't we just accept that there is more than one valid opinion on this rather than tearing down anyone who disagrees?

Anywherebuthere · Today 17:22

Going out for a few hours isn't a problem. But coming back in that state. How could anyone be remotely attracted to that.

That part would be a deal breaker.

RhaenysRocks · Today 17:52

Anywherebuthere · Today 17:22

Going out for a few hours isn't a problem. But coming back in that state. How could anyone be remotely attracted to that.

That part would be a deal breaker.

Even if it was a massively out of character one off and hes contrite and helpful the next day? You'd instigate a divorce and life as a single parent with a three week old?

KmcK87 · Today 17:54

Thechaseison71 · Today 16:45

Obviously there is but how is a husband that's out at work 9 hours a day giving Anyone support. ? It was only 5 hours the OPs husband was out anyway

So if you can't cope with looking after your own baby if husband goes out drinking one day for a few hours then how do you manage when he's out everyday at work

Edited

Because he’s going to work to help pay the bills? What does going out and getting smashed do except render you pretty useless the next day? It’s not the same and I’m not sure how you think they’re comparable?

Thechaseison71 · Today 20:26

KmcK87 · Today 17:54

Because he’s going to work to help pay the bills? What does going out and getting smashed do except render you pretty useless the next day? It’s not the same and I’m not sure how you think they’re comparable?

There compable in the fact he's not with his wife giving " support"

Thechaseison71 · Today 20:28

RhaenysRocks · Today 17:52

Even if it was a massively out of character one off and hes contrite and helpful the next day? You'd instigate a divorce and life as a single parent with a three week old?

Well obviously having their baby grow up without it's father is preferable than a husband that gets smashed on 5 hours out " wetting" the baby's head

Of course the child's life will be so much better probably living with less money and no one to help out at anytime

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