DP returned steaming on first night out after baby

[Elz23]

DP and I have a 3 week old DC. Tonight was the first chance he has had to see his friends to ‘wet the baby’s head’ as it has been so full on. He said he’d be a couple of hours at most, meeting them at our local pub at 4 once they’d finished work.

He turned up an hour ago, having not got back to my messages asking where he was. He said his phone died, but he is steaming drunk. He crashed in waking DC, who I’d spent ages getting to fall asleep. He’s got a stain on the back of his beige shorts (it looks like shit) and has spent most of the time since he got home locked in the bathroom complaining about his stomach. He’s told me he had 8 pints and shots, as people kept buying them for him.

He says he needed that blow out after the last few weeks and that he will happily let me do the same when I want to. I’ve told him I don’t feel ready for that. He says two of his friends went out earlier than him when they became dad’s. Am I wrong to find this excessive so early on?

How awful for you and your daughter. Just because you had it bad doesn’t mean others can’t expect a higher bar.

Also babies should be in the same room as parents until at least 6 months old.

Why was it awful? I didn't feel it was.

Cool. Want a badge?

No just an explanation of why it was awful

I absolutely detest the expression “needing a blowout” in response to normal day to day life. I hate drinking culture in the UK though. My ex was out “wetting the babies head” 8 days after our child was born and it was the start of 2 years of partying every weekend because he felt like he deserved it. I was also told I could do the same as him but it never works out that way for mum’s funnily enough.

I would think pretty poorly of it tbh. 3 weeks after my youngest was born, all my husband was interested in was supporting me and spending time together as a family. As I said though, I do have strong feelings towards drinking culture.

They almost always manage to shit themselves too!

Am I wrong to find this excessive so early on?

I'd find this excessive full stop.

He says he needed that blow out after the last few weeks

What a sad twat.

Pathetic. He's a manchild excusing his actions. You deserve better. All women deserve better

Let it go, he paid the price when he shat himself. X

Nobody knows if he actually shit himself.

But if he did, in what way did he pay the price? He was clearly completely oblivious to the fact.

Erm, the issue with his shorts doesn’t sound good. Was drugtaking involved?

As a one-off and just drink, ok. If drugs or it happens again with shorts I could not have this.

My husband and his friends are all biiig drinkers, but not to the extent of being sick or soiling themselves.

I don’t know any man who ‘wet the baby’s head’ like this after having a child. My husband didn’t and no friends had Neanderthals for husbands either. Yuk.

And you have low standards. We are all different.

‘Poor guy’ 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Yes, I can imagine most people saying "Far from ideal, but you've got it out of system (in many ways) now. Baby was safe with Dad. Enjoy your hangover."

‘Sweet’
😂 the bar is so low for some women here.

It would be so interesting to pose the question as 'ladies, how many of you when you had a baby went out and got steaming drunk to celebrate?'.

Well said! The head wetting stuff is ridiculous. What exactly has he had to recover from?! And shitting himself?! I hope to god you’ve not had to clean that up in any way shape or form. Hope you are ok op and get some rest.

On a practical note as well this is a nightmare. My ex did this and was snoring his head off in our bed where I was feeding the non sleeping baby. I’d he hadn’t been there I could have co slept with the baby but co sleeping is a big no with a drunk adult in the bed. So I had to find somewhere else to try and sleep.

But women could do that if they chose

I agree. Give the man a break. If its a rare event !

Let it go. Everyone loves to celebrate a baby and he probably had the drinks lined up.
Just look forward to when you are ready for a good night out/spa day, or whatever you fancy doing for you,

Grim and as usual a lot of people with low standards are bending over backwards on this thread to excuse a man's poor behaviour and down play his partner's feelings.

Going out with friends and having fun is fine.

Drinking so much that you forget the time, make your partner worry about what is going on and end up shitting yourself is not.

Being cynical I would also wonder whether the night out included recreational drugs and if that is what caused his "accident".

Are people missing the fact that he got so drunk he shat himself??

No OP you are not being unreasonable.
I don’t understand how he isn’t mortified and vowing never to drink again!

But you are doing exactly the same 'sneering' thing to anyone who doesn't agree with you?