Aibu that having thick hair is not something for someone to be envious of!?

[thickhairproblems]

As the title says!
I have very thick hair, always have, it’s straight but has lots of kinks in so needs to be blow dried and straightened after each wash. I absolutely cannot leave to air dry as it’s a frizzy poofy mess. Even just blasting it with hair dyer it’s frizzy, lots of kinks and a few waves. Needs to be brushed as I dry it to somehow calm it down and it takes absolutely ages to do! It’s about bra strap length, I’ve tried it shorter but doesn’t sit right, needs some weight to hold it down so doesn’t poof out, layers don’t sit right. First bit of wind outside and it turns to a mess, gets very knotty.

Today Someone asked if my hair was all mine and that they would love to have hair like mine. This isn’t the first conversation I’ve had with people about wanting thick hair. Every hairdresser I go to mentions it.

Aibu that having thick hair isn’t something to be envious of
or
yanbu thick hair is a pita!

Also if anyone has any styling tips that would be great

As a perimenopausal woman with a frozen shoulder which makes even brushing her wiry frizzy toblerone-shaped hair almost impossible due to pain and restricted movement, who's had uncontrollable hair since puberty, never managed to master the straighteners OR the curly girl method, who can't exercise without needing to plan when hair wash day falls/holiday without a hair bobble and hat to hide the frizz etc etc I am wishing my hair thins somewhat at menopause...

YANBU OP (though your poll is odd). My mum and cousins have poker-straight thin hair (that some might describe as lank the day after washing) who envy my hair. I envy their glossy shine, effortless frizz-free locks and air dry to perfection in 10 mins hair.

I'd love my thick hair back. But health issues and perimenopause have wrecked it. I'm very limited what I can do with it these days. It feels really horrible to have hair so thin your scalp is visible.

Very fine thin hair also a bit of a pain.
Happy medium would be nice

I have thick curly hair. I love having thick hair, I think it's one of my best features. Mostly I'm lazy and just put it in a ponytail or bun, but it holds a style well and looked amazing on my wedding day!

I don't think it takes much work. It's dry so I only wash it weekly. It doesn't look good short but I don't want short hair anyway, and there are cuts to suit or not suit all hair types.

The only downside for me is that it's heavy and can give me headaches. It's a shame as I'd love it to be longer.

Mines thick, wavy on the under layers when wet but drys straight(hairdressers are always so shocked when they wash it and see all the waves.)
My main issue is its incredibly flat at the roots, no volume at all, probably because of the heaviness of all my hair, so it makes styling it basically impossible as it just looks slicked back but like i havent done a good job at slicking it back 🤣
Doesnt hold a curl or blow out
I never used to have an issue with knots, as in i could go days without brushing my hair and still be tangle free when I would finally get round to brushing it, but the past few years they are awful(I blame dyson, switching to this hairdryer is the only change i have made since the knots started)

Yanbu. It's a genuine pain in the arse, takes ages to dry and goes frizzy so easily. Does anyone else find their thick hair knots up again so soon after brushing, too? I hate it.

It's not curly either. But it does this annoying thing where it 'kinks out' in random places, so I have random flicky ends.

ive always thought the same as you until I’ve hit menopause! Now my usually lovely thick hair is just ‘normal’ and a bit limp!
plus my friends who were not blessed with thick hair are struggling with patchy exceedingly thin hair.
So embrace it I say! Thank goodness you won’t be one of those old ladies you look at and pity….

My very thick hair thinned a bit but you're right it's still a full head. Menopause is a bugger.

Yes I have the same problems OP. Almost exactly the same in fact.

The only way I've managed to tame it is having an inverted bob. I'm not a massive fan of the style at the back but it looks ok at the front.
I have to keep up with the style as well as once it starts growing out it starts flicking out and kinking.

I can't have it long as it just becomes unmanageably thick at that point and takes a good hour to wash and dry.

I can't curl it or do nice hairstyles with it because there's just too much of it. If I want it coloured I'm in the hairdressers for a good 3-4 hours.

It's shit.

Very fine thin hair here and I would swap in a heartbeat. My hair is very greasy and has to be washed every day or it looks flat and disgusting. Dry shampoo can maybe get me through a second day if I stick it up but it still doesn’t look great.
Even after a lot time styling it always looks a bit flat and limp and will definitely not hold a curl.
Perimenopause now making it thin more and when you don’t have much to start with, it’s very depressing!

Trust me thick hair ladies, you do not want to swap!

It’s hard work but it’s very beautiful.

So I think on balance thick hair is a plus.

I struggled a lot with my very thick wavy hair when I was younger. I had the same problems as you, OP, I was always losing my temper with it and cutting it short, which made it look worse. I found the trick was to embrace the waves, find the right styling products and a great hairdresser who cuts my hair in very blunt layers. I used to get it thinned as well, but since menopause this is no longer necessary. I have actually found that menopause has given me the hair I always wanted - it has thinned my hair to a more normal level of thickness and the texture has changed from course to soft so now I have lots of beachy waves. I love it and it has become my pride and joy. So embrace it, because I wish I had been nicer to my hair when I was younger - those short hair cuts were AWFUL!

Another thick haired person. I actually find drying it makes it frizzier. I tie it back, give it a blast with the dryer whilst it’s in a bun to take the moisture out then let it air dry for a bit. It makes it hang a bit better.

Very very thick and long hair. Recently got an air wrap at 31 and it’s been a life saver!

Agreed. I have thick curly hair and have been told by many people over the years they would “love my hair”. It’s nothing but a massive hassle. I want it chemically straightened but can’t justify the cost right now. As you say, any remote humidity or wind and it’s a poofy mess. I very very rarely like the way it looks. It tends to stay straightest when I haven’t washed it for a few days but then is greasy so… I can’t win!

YANBU! I have the same hair as you. Thick and so much of it! I could never ever let it dry naturally. On holidays it’s a nightmare. I also need to keep it long for weight to hold it down. Washing, blow dry and straightening takes about an hour and a half.

As I said upthread, a small amount of serum rubbed into washed hair will smooth the hair shaft so it doesn’t absorb moisture so easily as that’s what makes it “pooffy”. I have never bothered with a lot of product, I hate how it makes my hair feel and you don’t want to be washing thick curly hair too often.

YABU
When you see someone with thin hair that you can see their scalp through, ask yourself the same question.

Christ almighty, it's not the Misery Olympics! Or should someone with a terminal illness rock up next to say having thinning hair is nothing to be upset about?

This site sometimes, I swear...

YANBU. We all have issues with our hair.

I've got fine, straight hair, but a lot of it, thankfully. Fortunately, it tends to behave itself, but it does have its off days.😀

Mine was once both very thick - I could barely get my hand around a bunch of it for a ponytail - AND very fine, which was a PITA at the hairdressers. No matter how much I told them NOT to rub while washing it, they always did, so it would go in a million knots, which they would then try to tear out by the roots.

Just once the (male) head hairdresser took one look and told the girl not to rub it!
I always had to say I’d comb it out myself.

Alas my days of lovely thick hair are past.

OP I hear you, I really do. Mine is so hard to manage (like you I can't just air dry or quick dry, and it's been like this since childhood).

It forms such a large part of how I have to plan my life, that if I'm watching a film I genuinely struggle a bit to identify with female characters who have smooth, fine hair. Utterly ridiculous, right?

But....I've also experienced hair loss and it was just awful. It's mostly back now and I try and be grateful.

I have thick hair. I had surgery a few years ago which caused half of my hair to fall out and It was quite nice to have a normal amount of hair for a change.

However I wouldn't change it. My hair is thinning a bit as I'm in my 50s but it still looks thick and healthy.

I’d much rather have my hair! It’s thick and wavy. Not enough curl for my liking but about 15 years ago I found the best cut (a choppy just below chin length bob) which is truly wash and wear. I only need to wash it two or three times a week. I comb it once wet then let it dry (or hit it with a blast from the hair dryer) and it looks great. My sister has fine straight hair and has to wash it every day and style it.
No issues with thinning hair during/after pregnancy, though I’d say in my 60s now it is a bit thinner but still looks very full.
The downside is I started going grey at 17! So I home colour it every other month and suffer the roots.

If you have thick textured hair that you describe as having kinks and a few waves, you actually have curly hair that nobody has ever taught you how to style. If you can find a good hairstylist who can help you understand your hair better, you'll probably save a lot of time and energy fighting the natural texture and you can surrender to the natural beauty of your hair.