Aibu that having thick hair is not something for someone to be envious of!?

[thickhairproblems]

As the title says!
I have very thick hair, always have, it’s straight but has lots of kinks in so needs to be blow dried and straightened after each wash. I absolutely cannot leave to air dry as it’s a frizzy poofy mess. Even just blasting it with hair dyer it’s frizzy, lots of kinks and a few waves. Needs to be brushed as I dry it to somehow calm it down and it takes absolutely ages to do! It’s about bra strap length, I’ve tried it shorter but doesn’t sit right, needs some weight to hold it down so doesn’t poof out, layers don’t sit right. First bit of wind outside and it turns to a mess, gets very knotty.

Today Someone asked if my hair was all mine and that they would love to have hair like mine. This isn’t the first conversation I’ve had with people about wanting thick hair. Every hairdresser I go to mentions it.

Aibu that having thick hair isn’t something to be envious of
or
yanbu thick hair is a pita!

Also if anyone has any styling tips that would be great

Not understanding why so many in the thread think frizz is the preserve of thick hair. Mine is thin and frizzy :(

Why don’t you get a straightening treatment? Would make a huge difference, you can then just blast with hair dryer and it would look great?

I do this too. Game changer especially for work (work in the city) don’t need to worry about it at all during the week. Expensive though.

I have thin hair though unlike the OP and the advantage is that it takes a hairdresser minutes to blow dry and it does look ok for a few days.

My thick hair was gorgeous when I was young. I used to plait it at night to make it even thicker. It was and is waist length.
Now Im 64 and its quite thin and horrible. I really miss my glorious hair 😐

My general appearance is average at best and my figure is not great either but, at. 61, I still have a mane of very thick hair, which still has very little grey in it at the age of 61. It is truly my crowning glory and and and I enjoy being complimented on it, including by my hairdresser. I wash it once a week and it is in very good condition. The only downside is that it needs a trim every five weeks, mostly to take the weight out of it.

I’ve had alopecia since my teens. I’d certainly be jealous.

I have similar hair, that is frizzy, thick and curly AF. But loads of people just say “oh I’d kill for hair like yours” which is NUTS because they deffo haven’t ever had to deal with this hair.
ITS SO FLUFFY unless I’ve straightened it or gone through an entire curly girl routine. It takes hours to tame.
My only option is a tight bun or a ponytail.

I agree wholeheartedly. I had a breast cancer diagnosis last year and after mastectomy I’m on hormone treatment which reduces oestrogen. My hair was also very thick, and has thinned considerably due to the treatment. I’m grateful l had a thick head of hair to start with or my situation would probably be worse than it actually is, but it’s still soul destroying to see your hair coming out in clumps when you wash/brush it. Your hair is an important part of your identity, so l echo the sentiment. Be careful what you wish for.

I guess nothing that is at the extreme end of a spectrum is great. I can understand why people with very thin hair might be envious of your mane. I can also understand why people like you and me with a lion mane think it's a pain in the arse.

My hair is thick, wavy with kinks the size of a tsunami wave and so heavy that it looks like a whale is permanently draped around my head. It takes over 24h to air dry it but the alternative of using a hair dryer for about an hour is worse. I neither have the time nor the patience to style it. I have found no good and easy way to style it. The only thing that probably looks decent is tying it up (which I am infinitely bored of).

I recently got so bored of It that I cut it pretty short. Chin length. It was horrible for a few months (I needs the length and weight to pull it down) but seems to have slightly settled now.

One funny thing that works (if like me you don't like to style it using heat) a little bit is to put some sort of styling gel in your hair after washing it and then wearing a tight beanie for a couple of hours. That flattens it a bit.

Faux.

I’ve been really looking after my hair for the past couple of years, and as a result it’s got thicker but more difficult to manage. I have to section my hair whilst brushing it now as it’s too thick to brush straight through it.

My hair used to be thick and could bush out unflattering. Looked horrible short.
cancer treatment in my late 40s for lymphoma made me bald apart from a tiny forehead tuft. Grew back even curlier but not quite as thick.
now I am much older has started thinning too much. When I colour my hair and wash it too loads sheds. Be grateful of what you have and look after it. Think I should go grey but loth to grow it out naturally.

I do basically agree with this. I had very thick wavy frizzy hair and it was a pain in the arse all through my youth - when we didn't have straighteners or the other products we have now. Your hair sounds very similar to how mine was Menopause happened and now I have horrible thin hair - particularly on the crown. Layers don't help - they make it look worse. I hate being in photos where they get the top of my head with the horrible pink scalp showing through, I hate it!

However, the other day I came across an old photo of me - in my late 30s I think - with my thick hair - all pouffed out and frizzy and I remembered how stupid I used to feel with it all sticking out at the sides like Krusty the Clown. I don't want that hair back either, but apparently there is no middle way.

my hair has always been fine and, post menopause, it’s now also thinning. A blow dry looks great for about twenty minutes, and any moisture leaves it crisp with product unless I can dry with heat and a brush. My ponytail is pathetically, comedically thin, a bun is ridiculous, and any notion of leaving it a day without washing is out of the question because of my oily scalp. I could cry when I see how thin my hair is. I feel old and unattractive. So from my point of view, yes you are being very unreasonable.

That’s not to say I don’t understand your frustration, but I’d pick yours over mine any day.

Two things can be true at the same time! YANBU to be annoyed with the trouble your hair gives you but you are kinda BU to say there is nothing to be envious of because the grass is always greener on the other side. As a thin hair lady I'd say there is nothing to be envious either, but that's just because I've never come across the trouble that you have and you've never had mine.

Have you tried merwave or equivalent products? just go with it and have waves?

I used to have thick hair, now I have seen thicker.It was thick and shiny but menopause killed that.I ended up with thin hair and some bald patches, which I have managed to grow back.My message to you is just enjoy you thick puffy hair!

No, only certain parts insist on kinking the wrong way. The rest is straight.

I had to give up hair dye, washing every five days, air dry before mine recovered. Bit the bullet and embraced the natural

I, and my daughters, have really thick hair. My old hairdresser asked me to always say who I was when phoning to book an appointment, so they could allocate extra time.

Many years ago and friend commented that she'd love thick hair like mine. I said no you wouldn't. Yes I would. No you wouldn't Janis. Yes I would! Janis, you wouldn't - it doesn't just come out on your head! We had a good laugh at that but it's true! Excess body hair has been the bane of my life. Pros and cons to everything.

Thick hair and natural curls here, been told many times how people would love my hair.

Sodding take it then, you'd soon change your mind!!!!

OP, I totally feel you.

Our hair sounds very similar, amd OMG its so hard to do anything with...when it's long i get either a low ponytail or wear it down. It's too heavy to do anything else with. Short, i get one style that works.

And don't meantion rain or humidity.

I have very thick hair too.
Two things jumped out to me from your first post.
First , you probably have wavy hair so should treat it as such. Look up nourishing, curly hair techniques and products.
Second, you are highly likely to have damaged your hair with the ‘ blasting’ with a hot hairdryer and daily straightening .
I used to fight my thick hair every day, it was a big, frizzy, fluffy block around my head otherwise! I’ve now learnt to moisturise and tame it and it’s much more attractive and manageable. I only straighten occasionally but it’s easier now due to improved condition.
Look up some curly/wavy hair ladies on social media. It will change everything!

Ive got thick hair and tbh its not something Ive really thought about throughout my life. However since going through the menopause and reading about how some women's hair became thin it's something that I've become really grateful for. I keep it short and spiky, easy to maintain.

As someone that used to have thick hair, yabu. Thick hair of itself isn't difficult to manage.

However yanbu to think your hair specifically isn't enviable.