Was I right to complain and would you be worried?

[Wooorid]

Just had a delivery driver from Dominos unable
to find our house (village but not the easiest to find, though Amazon manages fine!). They called my phone and were clearly stressed,
I could see them going back and forth every few minutes while on the phone but because of how far we are from the main road I couldn’t go out (dc at home). He started raising his voice saying ‘im on ‘green’ lane!’ Almost angry over and over.

I felt really intimidated. He didn’t say anything to make me feel like that it was just the tone and then general way the conversation was. He must have then realised where it was and hung up, then absolutely raced down our drive, I thought he was going to hit the house. When I opened the door he pushed the pizza to me and didn’t say a word then drove off again reversing at high speed. I was on the phone to the dominos place literally at the time he arrived as they had called me to say their driver couldn’t find where we are. She could tell I was shocked when he turned up and was probing to ask if I was ok, I said I was quite shocked and wasn’t really sure what had just happened and that their are kids often playing and his speed in particular really scared me.

She said she would feed it back to him (no pun intended). I then said I didn’t want her to do that and didn’t want a fuss made as I was worried he would come back and do something awful to us. I have anxiety. Anyway she said she had a duty to feed it back to him and she apologised, she was very nice.

I feel really shaken up. For context I am often alone at home with small small children as DH often late at work and we are down a dark ish lane by the village. I am probably overthinking but I feel terrible for even admitting what he had done as he was obviously having a shit night and on next to no pay and no I am also worried I’ve unintentionally riled him up. I ordered food in as I was stressed with work and now this has just made me more stressed!

It’s normal to feel anxious when someone acts erratically and aggressively while delivering something to your home, and you are right to complain about that. I’d feel vulnerable after that too. He’s at work, there’s no excuse to act like that.

I think people need to stop being so hard on you.

It's scary to have an angry person you don't know come into your personal space and behave aggressively towards you
Especially when it's a man, you're a woman on your own, and you have children.

I once had a woman really shout at me because she was buying something off me from Facebook and she couldn't find my block of flats. I had put on the message that if she rings me when she's here, I will let her into the gated carpark because she'll never get parked on the street.

She rang me back, after several very snappy phone calls and screamed down the phone "IVE FINALLY FOUND YOUR FUCKING FLAT AFTER DRIVING AROUND FOR FUCKING AGES BUT WHERE THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO PARK OUT HERE??!!!"

I was really scared tbh. I wanted to put the phone down and ignore her but times were hard and I needed her money. I said I was walking to the gates to let her in and I waved her over, while opening the gate with my fob. She sped over and started throwing her hands up in the air because the gates wasn't opening fast enough, sped in, wound down the window, snatched the item, shoved £20 iny hand and spat "this SO wasn't worth it!!" And sped off again.

Angry strangers can be very scary OP. You don't know who they are or what they are capable of
Wasn't the guy that murdered a girl in London a couple of years back a dominos delivery driver? (Don't worry - that one is in prison) And when they're at your own door it's worse.

I think you should totally complain. Noone has a right to make you feel that way.

Oh come on, the guy was stressed not angry!

There's a massive difference between the two.

Why are you still worried he will want ‘revenge’? It’s over with, time to let it go.

Some drivers are just useless. They frequently can’t find our house. We are number 5 in a small cul de sac, it’s the 5th house on the left. It has two signs on it and they still get agitated and get it wrong. It’s not you it’s him and his incompetence.

Clearly not.

The OP still hasn't explained why she didn't use What3Words. Why not be empathetic and make someone's life easier? Particularly, a delivery driver who is under enormous pressure, on minimum wage or below.
I always feel a sense of responsibility to make someone's life easier. What comes around goes around and all that.

Why does she need to explain that? We can all assume she hadn’t thought of it just fine. I hadn’t thought of it before it was suggested here, it’s a good idea. Hopefully she’s listened and will use it next time.

You admit you have a hard to find house. I agree its lucky it was something unimporttant as a pizza delivery and not one of the emergency services. Not surprised the driver was annoyed.

We used to live in a very hard to find house. It’s on you to provide very clear instructions at the time of order.

Having anxiety is irrelevant.

If some aggro prick started arking up at me I'd be pretty upset too.

The amount of apologising for bullying men on this thread is unbelievable.

No OP, you're not being unreasonable to complain.

Fuck that guy and his shitty moods, he needs some professional intervention to manage his propensity to fly off the handle.

Bullying men? Someone who has to deliver in a timely manner or he gets sacked - he couldn’t find the place and it does sound hard to find. If he then runs late he gets a mouthful from the next customer. I would be stressed too.

And respectfully, your post sounds very angry and aggressive, ironically

How pathetic

Good, glad you grasped it... because I'd be angry.

OP- please get in touch with your mental health support team. If you don't have one, please contact your GP for an appointment.

This level an angst and anxiety isn't normal and might be being felt by your children also.

Are you always this aggressive? Because I think you genuinely need help. You say he should have intervention whilst ranting that he’s an ‘aggro prick’ (whereas he’s more likely a stressed delivery driver with targets). Save your rage for genuine harassment.

And OP, if you are prone to anxiety and spiralling (I am!) and you get stressed about being on your own with the children at night, I agree with PP that you could use help. You presumably don’t want the children to pick up on it

Not always, just with niggling twats.

What does that even mean? How was the driver ‘niggling’?

You are clearly very anxious and I am sorry about that.
Your reactions are ott

Op are you getting help for your anxiety? Beta blockers can help, I would speak to your gp. You don’t need to just put up with the symptoms of anxiety, there is help available.

So if someone ‘niggles’ you, you go full on unhinged overreaction? Wow. 🤣🤣🤣

@BlueSlate in a subsequent post OP wrote that he seemed absolutely furious when he arrived. She described his driving as ‘racing’ up her driveway and that he reversed at high speed - safe reversing is slow and cautious, not at high speed.

I stand by everything I wrote earlier.

OP may be overreacting, I’m not claiming to know one way or another. But I am not here picking apart what she is saying to prove that she is in the wrong. I am taking her post at face value - he seemed furious, he was shouting, he didn’t say a word to her when he arrived, he was racing up the driveway, reversing at speed. I am believing all of those statements she made because I don’t have any reason not to.

The OP initially describes him as "almost angry". It's only in later post he suddenly becomes furious. By this evening he will be 7ft tall, muscular and steaming with rage.