Was I right to complain and would you be worried?

[Wooorid]

Just had a delivery driver from Dominos unable
to find our house (village but not the easiest to find, though Amazon manages fine!). They called my phone and were clearly stressed,
I could see them going back and forth every few minutes while on the phone but because of how far we are from the main road I couldn’t go out (dc at home). He started raising his voice saying ‘im on ‘green’ lane!’ Almost angry over and over.

I felt really intimidated. He didn’t say anything to make me feel like that it was just the tone and then general way the conversation was. He must have then realised where it was and hung up, then absolutely raced down our drive, I thought he was going to hit the house. When I opened the door he pushed the pizza to me and didn’t say a word then drove off again reversing at high speed. I was on the phone to the dominos place literally at the time he arrived as they had called me to say their driver couldn’t find where we are. She could tell I was shocked when he turned up and was probing to ask if I was ok, I said I was quite shocked and wasn’t really sure what had just happened and that their are kids often playing and his speed in particular really scared me.

She said she would feed it back to him (no pun intended). I then said I didn’t want her to do that and didn’t want a fuss made as I was worried he would come back and do something awful to us. I have anxiety. Anyway she said she had a duty to feed it back to him and she apologised, she was very nice.

I feel really shaken up. For context I am often alone at home with small small children as DH often late at work and we are down a dark ish lane by the village. I am probably overthinking but I feel terrible for even admitting what he had done as he was obviously having a shit night and on next to no pay and no I am also worried I’ve unintentionally riled him up. I ordered food in as I was stressed with work and now this has just made me more stressed!

Why is everyone so sure that OP is overreacting, and that the driver was ‘doing absolutely nothing wrong’? We weren’t there but OP was and she says he was furious. Have you never seen a furious person before? It is scary and it is not the right-minded way to go about a pizza delivery. The OP says that he sped down the lane so fast that it was scary and dangerous- can you not imagine someone doing that? Not just driving fast, but boy-racer dangerous loud speed. That is scary.

Maybe OP is overreacting but if we how can everyone be so sure that the poor driver was just doing his job and that it’s not a big deal?

I obviously don’t know OP’s house but, again, it is not difficult to imagine from her description that she lives in the countryside. She has her house and a view of the road in the distance. She can see him from a distance driving up and down the road. With two children in the house she is right to trust her instincts and stay as close to them as she feels is right.

Whatthreewords or maybe put a sign up etc etc is helpful advice but you don’t need to imply that the OP is entirely at fault for another persons entirely unacceptable behaviour because she has never has this problem before and doesn’t have a sign down the end of her lane.

This.

Not to be aggressive and not to speed

Exactly.

He was unnecessarily aggressive and she was right to complain.

Some people on here need to expect better and do better.

You are clearly an anxious person so you probably know you were catastrophising when you were thinking he would come back and do something to you, but I feel a bit bad for the poor bloke.

It sounds like he was getting frustrated at not being able to find your address when he has other deliveries to make in a short time frame. He shouldn’t have reacted in a way that made you scared but he’s only human trying to do a job in a timely manner.

You’ve made him sound like a creep to his employer by telling them that you’re frightened he will do something to you, which suggests to them that he was acting way beyond just being a bit annoyed. I hope he doesn’t get seriously reprimanded for it if his employer thinks he’s deliberately threatening or intimidating lone female customers in their homes.

He was frustrated because he was under pressure to deliver to you. You know your house is hard to find so he had a reason for this. But he won't be ruminating about you or angry to get a complaint / bad review. He knows what happened. And it's probably something that does happen from time to time, maybe frequently. He's not going to come back for 'revenge', he'll probably not even be thinking about it once his shift is over.

It sounds like you need some help with your anxiety though.

He also doesn't know that you were a lone adult - you are just the person who made the order and answered the door.

I was a delivery driver for papa johns and yes the job is very stressful, especially when it’s a popular branch. The store I worked at had so many orders they couldn’t keep up with and sometimes wouldn’t even start preparing to cook the food until 45 mins - hour after the orders come in. I would be given 5/6 deliveries to take out at once and I’d be told to deliver closest to furthest, regardless of who ordered first. The majority of the time customers would be abusive because on their app it would say “Out for delivery” 45 mins prior to me turning up when in fact the food was only just cooked 10 mins prior. Sometimes customers would ask you to wait while they unpacked all the food on the doorstep to check the temperature or ask you to wait while they phoned the store, refusing to acknowledge they are further holding me up or that all I do is take the bags when given and deliver. I had no input in the food making process or the way the business is run. I didn’t have their food sat in my car for an hour like the app said. It’s a tactic that food places check the food off as out for delivery just to stop customers phoning in constantly. He was probably frustrated because he’s now going to be even more late for the next deliveries and receive a ton of abuse. I am a woman by the way and would get really pissed of sometimes if I couldn’t find a house. It’s really helpful if you put clear directions on where it says “delivery instructions” when you order, this shows up on the receipt that we keep for mileage. It would state in big bold letters on the receipt “Gate code 5590” instead of pulling up and having to mess around calling asking for the codes to get onto the land and then they don’t answer for 2/3 attempts or “The brown house at the very bottom past the camper van” it makes the job so much less stressful all round.

Sorry to be clear I am worried he will want revenge as he’s had his manager speak to him when he’s got back! Not because he couldn’t find the house.

Yes I directed him clearly but he was almost shouting at me while I was explaining so I don’t think he was taking it on board.

I would have gone out if I could but I can’t abandon my children and walk down a lane.

It wasn’t dark when he arrived and there are kids on that lane often playing. He drove so fast I really did think he was going to hit the house and then he reversed so quickly he nearly hit my car. This part I know I’m not overthinking even if I’m overthinking the rest!

@Onelifeonly I don’t think he wants revenge because he couldn’t find the house. Because his manager will have spoken to him because of me!

@WoooridI had something similar with an Amazon delivery driver, I emailed a complaint over, and to be fair to them - I had a phone call instantly and they wanted more info and were very apologetic. I did ignore it though, as I realised - well he knows where I live? I’d rather not!

so I get it OP, I do!

My address is difficult to find, so I have a standard set of directions that I add to every order.

If my house was at the end of a long driveway, I would install a solar powered sign with the house number at the street, I.e. where delivery people need to turn onto the drive.

Why is everyone so sure that OP is overreacting, and that the driver was ‘doing absolutely nothing wrong’? We weren’t there but OP was and she says he was furious. Have you never seen a furious person before? It is scary and it is not the right-minded way to go about a pizza delivery. The OP says that he sped down the lane so fast that it was scary and dangerous- can you not imagine someone doing that? Not just driving fast, but boy-racer dangerous loud speed. That is scary.

She didn't say he was 'furious'. She said he sounded 'almost angry'.

It felt scary and dangerous because she'd already spiralled.

She didn't say 'boy-racer dangerous loud speed' she said he reversed away from the house at high speed (after the interaction was over).

She said she thought he was going to hit the house. Did she? Was that a realistic fear? Really..? How often do people actually drive into houses?

The fact the OP is worrying about possible repercussions shows that her emotions have escalated around this issue. She might he justified in feeling a little anxious at the time but this level of worrying afterwards is excessive.

He drove so fast I really did think he was going to hit the house and then he reversed so quickly he nearly hit my car. This part I know I’m not overthinking even if I’m overthinking the rest!

But those things didn't happen.

I saw a car reverse into a parking space the other day and from the angle, I though, "Ooh he's going to scrape that car!" Because I wouldn't have reversed at that angle. But nothing happened because the driver could clearly see what they were doing. That's not the same as 'nearly scraping the car'.

He didn't hit the house and he didn't hit your car.

We have really tall trees at the end of the garden and every time there's a strong storm, I think, "What if the trees fall and hit the house?" That isn't the same as every time there's a strong storm, the trees nearly falling and hitting my house.

It's about perspective.

This - Dominoes state they will get orders to you in under 30mins. I think drivers are penalised if they miss this deadline. Going forward, if your house is hard to reach/find, add ‘what three words’ in the booking notes or give directions.

He was a guy on minimum wage in a time when their income is being eroded by the costs of fuel (they are not recompensed for that) ordering a fricking pizza. Let it go and give better instructions next time.

I’m not prone to anxiety and over thinking and I find aggressive driving really disturbing. He probably should have pulled over and got some clear directions from you and certainly shouldn’t have pulled up in such an aggressive manner (racing down your drive). This isn’t you and it won’t be the first time he’s got lost and been angry and as others have said, people get annoyed with delivery drivers all the time so I really wouldn’t worry about him coming back.

OP - please use the What 3 Words app if your place is hard to find. What if it’s an ambulance that can’t find your house in the future?

Amazon have a very specific system for finding properties. It's pins based on previous successful deliveries. If another driver has delivered the package and there have been no complaints about the parcel not turning up they continue to use that location. It's nothing to do with the drivers being able to find your obscure property. Someone who worked as a delivery driver for Amazon explained it to me when I commented that Amazon are the only delivery company that can always find oud house. Not even Royal Mail can find us at times.

The chances of the complaint even being passed on are very small. Most managers will agree to 'pass on your comments' or say 'we'll give more training' then shrug their shoulders and get on with their job. They don't want to run the risk of their employee slamming down their keys mid shift and saying 'if it's like that, I'm off!' because it leaves them in a tricky place until they can recruit someone to fill the slot.

And next time you can see someone driving past who can't find your house, you keep saying, 'you just went past my drive, go slowly and I'll talk you in.' For all the driver knows there's an entire rugby team standing in the kitchen wondering why the pizza delivery is taking so long...

He wasn't professional, stressed probably, but it's his job to handle situations like that in a professional manner. So if he shouted at you on the phone then yes I think it's fair to complain if it felt intimidating.

However, when you give feedback like that to any company you need to think about why you're doing it and that the company would be remiss to not act on it. So you were being unreasonable to ring and complain and expect it not to get back to the driver.

I do think you are spiralling although I also get why.

I think maybe you habe let your anxiety get the better of you. We also live in a hard to find rural location and often have spats with delivery drivers, they get stressed, I get stressed, one or other can be rude if it gets a bit much. I’ve complained at times.

ive neve once though they will come back, break into our home and attack us.

@Wooorid It really would help you to maybe get some counselling in not catastrophizing.

Him driving at speed down your drive ≠ he is going to crash into your house

Him quickly thrusting your pizza at you ≠ you not being really sure what had just happened

Pizza woman saying to him when gets back "That nutty woman clearly had anxiety and you getting worked up on the phone got her really upset. Try not to get so nowty next time" ≠ Him deciding to plot vengance

Him getting angry on the phone because he was lost ≠ him trying to deliberately intimidate you.

Very rare occasion of someone taking revenge ≠ it will happen to you in your quiet little village

I know you've said you have anxiety, but to this level perhaps you need additional counselling or support. Your response is disproportional. Most people would just shut the door, roll their eyes and check the pizza was the correct one.

I note you said you were also stressed at work and that's why you ordered pizza.
And you live down a dark lane. And you're often home with the kids on your own. It's clear you're not coping. Could husband be at home more whilst you get yourself sorted?

What are you doing about the anxiety you have? Your reaction is completely out of proportion to a normal event - the driver couldn’t find your house, he was stressed, he has targets to hit and a job to keep. He shouldn’t have raised his voice, if he did, and he shouldn’t have rushed, if he did. It’s on you to manage these teeny life events. You either plan in advance to mitigate them, or you react in an appropriate way when things go wrong. If you are a parent, you need to be able to teach and show your children how to cope with life events. I would not complain and nor would I have reacted the way you did.

You said you thought he'd come back and do something awful to you so you certainly weren't suggesting he was a nice person.

Get help for you anxiety for your kids sake and for anyone else's you may come across and misjudge.

I don’t understand how you’d have to walk down a lane to flag him down going past, yet your house is so close to the road you thought he’d drive into your house?