Was I right to complain and would you be worried?

[Wooorid]

Just had a delivery driver from Dominos unable
to find our house (village but not the easiest to find, though Amazon manages fine!). They called my phone and were clearly stressed,
I could see them going back and forth every few minutes while on the phone but because of how far we are from the main road I couldn’t go out (dc at home). He started raising his voice saying ‘im on ‘green’ lane!’ Almost angry over and over.

I felt really intimidated. He didn’t say anything to make me feel like that it was just the tone and then general way the conversation was. He must have then realised where it was and hung up, then absolutely raced down our drive, I thought he was going to hit the house. When I opened the door he pushed the pizza to me and didn’t say a word then drove off again reversing at high speed. I was on the phone to the dominos place literally at the time he arrived as they had called me to say their driver couldn’t find where we are. She could tell I was shocked when he turned up and was probing to ask if I was ok, I said I was quite shocked and wasn’t really sure what had just happened and that their are kids often playing and his speed in particular really scared me.

She said she would feed it back to him (no pun intended). I then said I didn’t want her to do that and didn’t want a fuss made as I was worried he would come back and do something awful to us. I have anxiety. Anyway she said she had a duty to feed it back to him and she apologised, she was very nice.

I feel really shaken up. For context I am often alone at home with small small children as DH often late at work and we are down a dark ish lane by the village. I am probably overthinking but I feel terrible for even admitting what he had done as he was obviously having a shit night and on next to no pay and no I am also worried I’ve unintentionally riled him up. I ordered food in as I was stressed with work and now this has just made me more stressed!

But if he was that close you could have walked outside the house. You didn't need to walk down the whole lane or whatever but you could have spoken on the phone and said I am coming outside now. Look for the lady wearing the blue jumper waving at you.
Your kids were asleep and surely nipping out for a few mins would not have been an issue here (and no different for example than going into the garden or if like me you have a dryer in your garage, going down to sort washing).

So you'd be happy if he lost his job over it?

Him speeding on your driveway wasn't good but he was clearly stressed by then and I would've cut him some slack and dropped the complaint. Your inference that he would come back and do something nasty to you or your family or your house was despicable – if you said that to his manager, imagine how he might've felt if she'd relayed it back to him.

@Passingthrough123 don’t recall saying I’d be happy if he lost his job.

You’ve said plenty that imply it though, that he needs bare basic manners to do this job, that his behaviour was unacceptable, you’ve complained to his manager and thought he’d turn violent, and you said you’d loose your job if you behaved like that.

He was clearly stressed by you being unclear and because he would have to deliver everything and get back within a strict timeframe.

You were both stressed but you assume he’s a psycho who’s going to stalk you because he was frustrated. Neither of you handled it well but if your anxiety is so bad that you can’t be at home with the children at night then you need to address this

In the meantime - while you’re sorting out your anxiety - stock your freezer with some pizzas

You said you were more sure that his behaviour was unacceptable, which suggests you don’t regret complaining. My point is that your complaint may well have got him sacked.

I think the bizarrely low expectations are that someone “would come back and do something awful to us” because of sub-optimal feedback to his manager. Most of us have a bit more faith in humanity.

Even someone like me with little faith in humanity wouldn’t assume someone would come back to get me! And to imply that to his manager is vile

This. ^

Yikes! The comments on here are absolutely ridiculous
He definitely did not behave like a professional delivery driver. If he can't handle the job, handle stress without upsetting others and not being able to find somebody's house which is very common in that role then he shouldn't be doing that job. He certainly shouldn't have been raising his voice to you or making you feel like f s* because he can't find your house. That's his problem. Aggressively speeding towards your house and then shoving the pizza at you. I would have asked for a refund- if he doesn't know the area he should takes the time to know the area in which he's working in, The fact he behaved aggressively obviously made you feel worried. Not everybody has a hard disposition. I once had a delivery driver constantly message me and come to my house asking me for a date , luckily my partner was in when he came back around. He obviously thought I was single somehow but anyway, not on

Your house is hard to find, he got frustrated as he is on a tight schedule & despite being able to see him driving back & forth you gave him shit directions (they must have been shit as they clearly didn't help him despite what you may think)
You've got anxious and dropped him in the shit, it is what it is.
Your reaction to the whole thing is quite frankly ridiculous and you definitely need help for this level of anxiety.
It's unlikely he's given you any headspace other than hoping he doesn't have to deliver to you again.

If you could see him driving back and forth and were on the phone to him, why on earth didn’t you tell him when to stop and turn etc?

Could you tie a balloon or put something easy to see at the end of your drive.
If you ever need emergency services put all your house lights on normal street addresses are difficult enough to find.

Wow, lots of unkind comments on here.

OP, your original question was AIBU to complain and would you be worried.

1. You are 100% right to complain. His behaviour was shit, unprofessional and rude. You did nothing wrong and didn’t deserve to be treated like this.

2. No, I wouldn’t be worried. It’s easy to overthink, especially if you have anxiety.

Eh? What are you expecting us to say? You’re being really OTT. You could have stood outside and waved (I did that when we lived in a tricky place). That would’ve helped him!

Am always on my own with my children and have been since they were little. You’re making a big fuss over not very much.

@SunnyRR thanks, this is what I’ve concluded too. I am genuinely surprised at the fact people seem to think that attitude is ok when you’ve paid for a service. Maybe my expectations are too high!

People asking the same questions without reading my responses:

1. i couldn’t leave my home as I had two young children asleep.
2. i could see him from a distance, that doesn’t mean it was walkable from two toddlers.
3. i don’t think my directions were shit but even if they were there was no need to raise his voice, talk over me, hang up and then drive dangerously up to our home.

I agree I was overly worried at the time about him coming back but I actually think I should have said something to him directly when he arrived. As I said up thread, I would literally be fired there and then for that sort of interaction with a customer/client

FGS, no, it’s that your expectations of yourself are too low. You expect others to have high standards while expecting little of yourself. You really need to be more mature, less over-emotional, demanding and self-centred. And thus be better for yourself, people around you and your children.

@LastHotel I don’t think it’s my responsibility to make sure the angry man calms down and does his job properly, no.

You twist it and blame him for everything

@LiviaDrusillaAugusta Ordering and paying for a pizza is a crime now? 😅

What a bizarre response! Wtf?

Don’t be ridiculous. Both of you were stressed, you could have helped him find the house but he got stressed because he is a minimum wage worker and was probably under tight time constraints.

But the fact you thought he was going to come back and get you is way over the top. I’m sure you are lovely and calm under stress but telling his boss that you thought he was coming to get you? Seriously!

Like a pp said, you do need to deal with things.

@LiviaDrusillaAugusta I didn’t say that to his boss! I said he’d driven dangerously along our road and shouted down the phone