AIBU to feel hurt our friendship group went away without us?

[starships]

Aibu to be hurt that the rest of our friendship group have gone away for 2 nights?

so friendship group of 3 couples, always all been there for each other, always invited all couples whenever we have arranged anything even if it wasn’t their cup of tea.

today we’ve been inundated by pictures from 2 of the couples who have gone away for an (expensive) city break to somewhere we love doing stuff that we love. Aibu to feel hurt that we were never asked? I’m genuinely shocked by this.. no issues with friendship at all but this has been planned for some time and no one told us..

just feel hurt that no one asked if we would like to come? a just a week ago they cancelled on us after having something booked for a number of months they all pulled out with various excuses.. seen them since with no issues so we’re a bit perplexed!

thanks all- just wondering if I’m being unreasonable to feel hurt or not?

I thought her post gave a good perspective. What did you object to?

The friendship is done now. Its a weird one though!!

That all sounds awful. Was it one person in particular who responded to your question in that cold way? Just wondering whether there might be a particular ringleader for the childish shenanighans.

When she said the irony is one of them really doesn’t get on with another, just puts up with them for their other half…

It sounds like they are trying to edge you out of the group by snubbing you. It will be interesting to see if they initiate anything with you again if you don't.

Oh yes thanks, I see it now, I missed that update.

This is odd. I’d suggest that someone doesn’t want you there. Are you sure your husband hasn’t done something you don’t know about?

Who posted the pics? That’s probably the person who has beef with you

Worst advice ever.

Definitely sure about this- we are with each other pretty much all the time and he is a wonderful man that cares deeply about family and values our marriage- it would be pretty much impossible without me knowing if I’m totally honest due to how we share accounts on phones etc

It’s a swinging weekend so be tgsnkful
you were left out!

@starships

That does, in fact, scream annoyance 🤣

Do they have pampas grass in the front garden?

I’d have to blunt and ask how come you weren’t included this time, especially as they’d know it was something you’d enjoy.

Find out which one of the four suggested it and planned it. It’ll be this one, no doubt, that wants to leave you guys out - then you find out what their problem is with you or DH or both of you.

Widen your circle of friends. This lot really don’t seem very nice!

I would just ask them very plainly why they didn’t invite you and say you have felt hurt as a result of this.

very odd and yes, hurtful.

unless they’re all shagging each other, in which case maybe preferable to be left out.

Why not? Have some self-respect. You don't deserve to be treated like this.

Do you have DC? If so, it’s probably an issue between the kids that’s driven a wedge in the group and theirs get on better.

@starships I would be out of the friendship group after this. Not dramatically but I would take ages to reply to messages and be very closed with my answers and see if they continue to make any effort

I would also be very hurt. This wasn’t an accidental pint at a pub, it was a kept quiet, planned and coordinated trip away. That’s bad enough but the pointed and direct inundating you with pics of the trip is just nasty.

to be honest, if there was no drama before hand, I wouldn’t walk away, I would run.

I would be very hurt by this given the history of your friendship. I guess how you navigate things going forward depends on how much these people mean to you and can you put this behind you.

I'm not sure I could be we all handle things in our own way

All most odd. If they wanted to call time on the friendship surely they would just phase you out. So go away and keep it quiet. Instead they are being upfront and sending you photos.

You are clearly the second tier couple, not all equal as you thought. Match people’s energy and treat them accordingly. Don’t let them know you are hurt.

Is it possible that they are swinging?

It's beyond strange that they are sending you photos of their getaway, knowing they didn't invite you along. That is bizzare behaviour, and just seems cruel and calculated to cause hurt.

I would just ignore their holiday photos.

I don't think you could ever feel emotionally safe around them.

Yes ,I agree, I'd find it hard to come back from that tbh.