Solo night away - dh not happy

[Twosugarsplzz]

Hello

I have an 11month baby boy. My mum has looked after him, one on one, a handful of times and had him overnight once (just a few weeks ago). He slept through (unusual!), ate all his dinner (again unusual!) And even let my mum brush his teeth. I was shocked but pleased. Anyway, two of my close friends are on annual leave and have asked if I fancied lunch at theirs in a few days time. I agreed. I checked if my mum could look after baby (as dh working) and she said yes. I would have taken baby but their flat is very small and they have a dog who i haven't met yet. My baby boy wants to crawl everywhere and I dont know this dog. My friends live near my mums house (i live an hour away from family and friends).
As mentioned, my mum said she would look after baby and then offered to take him overnight that same day too! I said no, I was only seeing friends for lunch. But then, after a few really bad sleepless nights, I thought, I could book a hotel and stay there while baby stays at my mums that night. She gets to spend time with grandson, she offered overnight, and I could catch up on sleep! I thought about asking dh to join but its too short notice for him to get time off work and then we'd have to think about what to do with our dog etc. I would have stayed at my mums but she lives in a flat and doesnt have much room. I would be sleeping on the couch. Or my mums room with my mum on the couch (i cant do that!).
So I was telling dh my idea of booking the hotel, room service, long bath, early night etc and he is really not happy. Told me its lazy and why am I desperate to get away from baby. I told him I am not and he told me I would be hitting the roof if other way around. I said damn right, cause you dont even do wake ups so yeah. He's now pissed at me.
We started talking again and he said he was taken back by my suggestion and he thinks its pretty selfish I would disappear to a hotel. He said I wanted a baby, as did he, so I dont get to just ditch him and go to a hotel whenever I like.
He is blowing this out of proportion but now I feel like shit. What would u do???

My sleep is crap now but I had the best sleeps late pregnancy. Pregnancy pillow, spa music, pillow spray.. ahhhhhh
Ive tried using pillow now as I LOVED it. I hate it now, so uncomfortable 😂😂😂

I used to dream of a night in a Premier Inn alone. I would have even accepted a Travelodge.

I never did and martyred myself instead. I became worn out, bitter and frustrated. I wish i'd prioritised myself more.

Do it. Get a bag of crisps and eat them in bed too.

Well he is an arse

Is he jealous or something?

I now know dh being a twat with comments
Most of my friends dont have kids so it did make me think, is it strange if baby goes to mums and I go to a hotel?? You lovely lot have shown me it isnt 😊

Go to the hotel, enjoy the break from the baby and your DH!

@Twosugarsplzz absolutely do this while your DC is too young to know that mummy needs a break!

My two (17, 14) would be really offended now if I went away without them.

Go for it.

🤣 I loved my pregnancy pillow but I had such bad heartburn that even water triggered it, I had to sleep upright for months, and my second especially, liked to headbutt my bladder constantly so I was up and down like a bloody yo-yo during the night!

Good for you! FYI, a lot of hotels are more expensive mid-week as they attract a lot of business guests. Hopefully won’t be too expensive. Check things like Groupon or Wowcher for deals too maybe?

Oh stop, she’s allowed a night away from them both. 🫠 with his attitude and temper tantrum over her having a bit of space, she would be starting one hell of a toxic cycle if she backed down now and gave in to his demands. OP wanting to socialise and be her own person for one night out of 11 months plus 9 months in utero, is not asking too much.

Ooh some very good prices!!! Im looking online now. Im going to do it. Thanks all!!!

YA definitely NBU
Book the hotel
But also get your H to start doing wake-ups. Why is it all on you? Even if you’re on mat-leave he can do the weekends. Good for him to spend time with his child and understand what’s involved.
Lazy - my arse.

I'd book the hotel. But I wouldn't hit the roof if my dp wanted to have a night away either, why would you?

Tell him to go and fuck himself. Honestly men are so entitled. Its one night

He can stay away if he pleases! But he never leaves the house....... I wish he would sometimes. I love him but sometimes a bit of space is good

Yes I’m thinking the same
get a nice takeaway for you and your husband
I’d be annoyed too if my partner said he was going to a hotel on his own for a break!

That's not what you said in the op though.

Huh??

You'd be annoyed if your partner spent some time by himself resting and recuperating? Wtf... is he not allowed out without you or something?

What would I do?
id get a divorce.
and to all the ‘you can’t divorce based on one moment’ chatters….yes, you can.
if this man liked or loved his wife, he would be happy for her, this sounds like a wonderful treat. But he’s not, he doesn’t want her to be happy.
that isn’t a relationship worth having

Perhaps he should spend his time looking after his child rather than judging you.

Get angry. Ask him why he does no wake ups? Why does he think it is okay to opt out of child care? Why does he think it is okay for you to be so tired?

Book the hotel and tell him to go fuck him self.

he told me I would be hitting the roof if other way around. I said damn right cause you don't even do wake ups so yeah.

I mean if he was seeing a friend and wanted to stay over to save time, see friend more.. okay, great. Go do you! But I wouldn't be happy and would hit the roof if it was for the same reason as me.. to get a good sleep as he sleeps very well. He never really has time with ds on his own so I wouldn't be happy if his family babysit while he stayed in hotel as he doesnt look after son really or do wake ups so why would he need the break

Again if reasons were ti have a drink, see friends, anything, I wouldnt care, if reason was to rest from baby I would be annoyed as he rests pretty well!

I would be annoyed if the joint parent to my child thought it was okay to opt out of childcare whilst accusing me of dumping off my child?!

He does nothing then guilt trips the OP when she is so tired she wants a night in a hotel to catch up on sleep.

This is not a loving husband being rejected. It is a controlling husband using the child as a weapon. Keep her tired and guilt ridden and keep her close. Utter crap.

Of course you can - and should - have a night away. But so can your husband, so I'm not sure why you say you would "hit the roof".
You are two adults - as long as your child is cared for, either of you can have a holiday, time away etc. You're not joined at the hip, and time apart is generally very healthy and helpful.