Solo night away - dh not happy

[Twosugarsplzz]

Hello

I have an 11month baby boy. My mum has looked after him, one on one, a handful of times and had him overnight once (just a few weeks ago). He slept through (unusual!), ate all his dinner (again unusual!) And even let my mum brush his teeth. I was shocked but pleased. Anyway, two of my close friends are on annual leave and have asked if I fancied lunch at theirs in a few days time. I agreed. I checked if my mum could look after baby (as dh working) and she said yes. I would have taken baby but their flat is very small and they have a dog who i haven't met yet. My baby boy wants to crawl everywhere and I dont know this dog. My friends live near my mums house (i live an hour away from family and friends).
As mentioned, my mum said she would look after baby and then offered to take him overnight that same day too! I said no, I was only seeing friends for lunch. But then, after a few really bad sleepless nights, I thought, I could book a hotel and stay there while baby stays at my mums that night. She gets to spend time with grandson, she offered overnight, and I could catch up on sleep! I thought about asking dh to join but its too short notice for him to get time off work and then we'd have to think about what to do with our dog etc. I would have stayed at my mums but she lives in a flat and doesnt have much room. I would be sleeping on the couch. Or my mums room with my mum on the couch (i cant do that!).
So I was telling dh my idea of booking the hotel, room service, long bath, early night etc and he is really not happy. Told me its lazy and why am I desperate to get away from baby. I told him I am not and he told me I would be hitting the roof if other way around. I said damn right, cause you dont even do wake ups so yeah. He's now pissed at me.
We started talking again and he said he was taken back by my suggestion and he thinks its pretty selfish I would disappear to a hotel. He said I wanted a baby, as did he, so I dont get to just ditch him and go to a hotel whenever I like.
He is blowing this out of proportion but now I feel like shit. What would u do???

I went back to work at 11 months including a night away with work not long after. I have friends who were in hospital giving birth for 3 days when their child was just turned 1. I promise our now 7 year olds were not scarred for life.

So 11 month olds can never go to nursery or be baby sat? Don’t be utterly ridiculous.

It is not factual, it is anecdotal.

OP has already said her mum has had him overnight a few weeks ago and has cared for him before.

OP is also going to be near by. She is not dropping her child off with an absolute stranger and making a run for it.

Just say you find it uncomfortable for yourself.

Of course they weren’t!

I mean with @Wishingplenty analogy, you couldn’t go to the shower without them feeling deserted. I’d argue a baby left regularly is confident that mum is coming back. Rather than never being left then suddenly at 3 or 4 and worrying that they won’t come back,

I sincerely hope you never had a long hair appointment whilst yours were that age and arranged for someone else to have them? Or a dentist appointment or medical appointment!

Deserted they’d be!

It’s not factual. It’s just your opinion.
There is nothing wrong with a mother leaving her child with a trusted carer.

It’s not “factual” that an 11mo baby is too young, it’s just your opinion. HTH.

What age are we allowed leave our kids? I must not have got the "factual" information leaflet you wrote about the rules of motherhood

@BoogieTownTop

dont have a baby unless you’re prepared to not have a shower until your child has acquired language and can understand what you’re doing. Be happy and grateful to stink of B.O

They aren't being deserted. They're with a loving care giver they know.

He's right. Don't have a child if you're going to palm it off on someone else at every opportunity.

Except she isn’t is she? It’s one night.

What about him? He had a child and he can’t be arsed to look after it. Leaves it all to his wife.

This is such bollocks.

Yep, two nights in 11 months, woman barely sees her kid clearly, bet she can't pick him out of a crowd or remember his name after so much time apart from him 🙄🙄

Presumably you think parents should home school until 18, never use any form of childcare or holiday club, never allow sleepovers at friends houses. I'm sure THAT how you raise healthy adults 😂

Every opportunity? 2 days in 334 days... is that every opportunity?

I've just realised that I'm 33... and no longer live with my parents? They just palmed me off at the ripe age of 20 and I should probably never forgive them...

Is there a reason your mum is looking after that baby rather than him? Definitely book your hotel but baby should be with your DH. Surely he should want to bond?

Define every opportunity?

He is working, but never the less OP should still go.

Definitely go and enjoy yourself op. Often blokes try and make us feel guilty - mine did last year and DS was 19! I so wish I’d put my foot down earlier and prioritised myself occasionally.

Because he is working and the OPs mother offered... this whole thing only came about because the OPs mother kindly offered to have the baby overnight which is lovely.

He’s working 🤷‍♀️

Maybe because the grandmother enjoys looking after the baby? And because the baby’s father is working?

Did you have fun @Twosugarsplzz ? Hope so!

Awww amazing
I went early evening.
I had a hot bubble bath with a large glass of wine. The tv was a smart tv so could project my phone to it and watched the affair on itvx. Been watching it for ages. Was good watching it uninterrupted. Had an early night and the best sleep ever and a buffet breakfast. I feel like a new woman!!!
Baby slept all night for mum again ... the toerag😂😂 so everyone got a good sleep!!