Solo night away - dh not happy

[Twosugarsplzz]

Hello

I have an 11month baby boy. My mum has looked after him, one on one, a handful of times and had him overnight once (just a few weeks ago). He slept through (unusual!), ate all his dinner (again unusual!) And even let my mum brush his teeth. I was shocked but pleased. Anyway, two of my close friends are on annual leave and have asked if I fancied lunch at theirs in a few days time. I agreed. I checked if my mum could look after baby (as dh working) and she said yes. I would have taken baby but their flat is very small and they have a dog who i haven't met yet. My baby boy wants to crawl everywhere and I dont know this dog. My friends live near my mums house (i live an hour away from family and friends).
As mentioned, my mum said she would look after baby and then offered to take him overnight that same day too! I said no, I was only seeing friends for lunch. But then, after a few really bad sleepless nights, I thought, I could book a hotel and stay there while baby stays at my mums that night. She gets to spend time with grandson, she offered overnight, and I could catch up on sleep! I thought about asking dh to join but its too short notice for him to get time off work and then we'd have to think about what to do with our dog etc. I would have stayed at my mums but she lives in a flat and doesnt have much room. I would be sleeping on the couch. Or my mums room with my mum on the couch (i cant do that!).
So I was telling dh my idea of booking the hotel, room service, long bath, early night etc and he is really not happy. Told me its lazy and why am I desperate to get away from baby. I told him I am not and he told me I would be hitting the roof if other way around. I said damn right, cause you dont even do wake ups so yeah. He's now pissed at me.
We started talking again and he said he was taken back by my suggestion and he thinks its pretty selfish I would disappear to a hotel. He said I wanted a baby, as did he, so I dont get to just ditch him and go to a hotel whenever I like.
He is blowing this out of proportion but now I feel like shit. What would u do???

Sounds like bloody bliss! As a completely solo parent I am insanely jealous. Enjoy!!

I think one of us has misread that!

I thought she was saying she told HIM to go & do something else (& she deals with the poo nappy) & you think she goes & does something else leaving him to fi ggd poo nappy.

good money says I'm right 🤣🤣

Ahh I'm always getting the wrong if the stick.😂 I hope I'm right. If I'm wrong then he definitely needs to get told.

I wouldn’t - he sounds like a twat. Why should she have two hours drive to spend the night with him?!

OP - make him share the night wake ups. See how he fancies a night off then. What a dick.

Your husband is an abomination and attempting to coercively control you but luckily you have ignored him, I hope he’s not going to punish you for this -keep your eyes open.

I hope you have a lovely time and I hope this 5050 isn’t funded but your savings and not his while you’re on mat leave.

please make him do the early wake ups at weekends at least now and ask him why he’s desperate to be away from his own baby if he objects. Twunt.

I think you should make your hotel stay happen a few times a year btw

No, that's absolutely not where I was going with my question. Actually, what I was trying to establish was what kind of man he is, and you've proven that he didn't step up to provide for his baby and mother of his child even when she wasn't working. No woman should have to use her savings whilst she is unable to earn after having someone's child. No decent man would not provide.

That, along with him thinking that anything he does it "help", rather than stepping up to actually parent etc. just makes me wonder what the point of him is?

He sounds a pretty poor husband and father.

Id be skipping out the door. I wanted children but right now a night in a hotel sounds bliss.

Well no, she's already travelled on day 1, and has to spend an hour travelling back on day 2 anyway. So it's only two hours extra travel. Who knows, maybe she could get her husband to do the second day's collection.

I don't even see what this has to do with your DH at all. It's your mum, your friend and youre arranging the whole thing. He has nothing yo do with this decision. Unless he wants to have the baby while you go, in which case thats also his right. But it sounds like be just wants you to not go, not that he wants the baby at home with him. What a prick.

As a matter of interest, do you think he would have reacted differently if you had put this to him on the basis that it would let you have some uninterrupted time together including time for sex? If so, it would show whether he genuinely thinks you're being lazy.

I think he was imagining a night of unbridled passion and instead he is going to have to manage with a microwave ready meal and Naked Attraction. No wonder he is grumpy.

Go for the hotel OP and enjoy it. Use up all the smellies and enjoy the full English the next morning.

What do you mean? I don’t understand this, but worth saying women, mums, do not owe their husband sex if someone else is looking after their baby. Mums are allowed time on their own.

Jesus he sounds absolutely pathetic.

Nervous for a weekend of parenting his own child. Lord give me strength.

Oh no, he was going to be a huge chunk more but the return was really good once house sold. It went way above housing report value. So I thought it was right to still pay when I had this additional money. If my house sold at expected rate, then dh was going to foot most bills x

Who wants to willingly travel 2 hours extra. Plus, thats on a good day. Depending on traffic time could easily go up. It usually does. Plus, dh wouldnt be able to collect until after work and then thats not really fair on baby as that'll disrupt dinner and bedtime schedule.

Do it!

No, he would still have work 😂 he has since apologised. He said it felt personal like i wanted away from him. I told him he needs to do more nights, happy to do more due to his work but he has to do something. Even if its the initial bedtime routine. He said he thought I enjoyed it. I asked if he thought I was stupid!! He asked again if he is still invited. I said yes but only if you dont have work as I am not leaving hotel at silly o'clock to pick baby up and then rush home. Id rather stay, have lie in, have breakfast etc.

I’d make it two nights.

Which is exactly what I was saying. If his reaction would have been different if OP had put this to him on the basis that they would have an uninterrupted shag, it would demonstrate that he doesn't genuinely believe that she is being lazy.

This. What a miserable twat. And he gets a night off too anyway. Everyone should be happy!

Glad you've got a nice mum at least.

Go and enjoy yourself.

Exactly... so still 2 hours travelling each day. For what? To go home and sit with a prick who doesnt value her? She's already said he can't get off work.

She's an hour away from home and assume will be having drinks with lunch.

If he isnt doing night wakings OP, he's a tit!

Diabolical behaviour from your husband- he does no wake ups yet said “you wanted this baby” when offered a break?

sorry you’re discovering you’ve married such a cunt. What are you going to do?

You have a dog and a big baby and a little baby.

And the big baby is mean and selfish.

When I whined, my dad told me to dry up.

Tell that big baby to dry up and enjoy your restful stay at the hotel.

In fact, shove a dummy in that big baby’s mouth.

Send them a postcard while you’re there. haha