To have let my dc have a wrap for lunch?

[Foodfumbles]

We nipped to the shop after swimming and they asked if they could have a wrap for lunch (this is a rare treat for them).

I let them have a whole wrap each (450cals if relevant) and since arriving at my mum’s she has lectured me on letting them eat an adult portion and saying I obviously want them to end up like me (overweight) letting them eat that.
To them she’s said how big their lunch is and even she would be full with a wrap and they should be sharing.

I have had endless food issues throughout my life thanks to how I was raised around food so I struggle to know what’s normal and what is her warped thinking. This is the same woman who told me my child was overweight and was getting fat (she wasn’t at all, she was on the 55th centile and very average!)

Aibu to let them have a whole wrap every now and then?

Not just me then? I’ve never heard of this.

One wrap between the two of them is nowhere near enough food for them especially after going swimming if a whole wrap each was too much for them then they wouldn’t have eaten it all. She needs to stop micromanaging your parenting.

OP I don't think you've answered; why do you think of wraps as a rare treat for lunch? They are just a different form of unleavened bread. Rolls, bread, pitta pockets, wraps, flatbreads, these are all perfectly normal lunch items, not treats?

Controlling much.
Tell her not to bother offering her ‘advice’ next time. You’re the parent, not her.

Your mum needs to learn to mind her own business, she had her chance to parent her children, these are your children. She imparted her food, weight issues on you, do not give her the chance to affect your children. I would be angry and upset if my mother said that with the history you have. A wrap each for lunch isn't a big deal. Sounds fine to me. She has turned something that was a treat into a stressful situation. I read your thread assuming you were referring to a McDonalds wrap and your children were toddlers.

I went looking lol

https://www.parents.com/what-is-an-almond-mom-and-how-to-not-be-one-6822156

She did - she said the treat was the shop-bought lunch, rather than making it at home.
I have similar age children and they’d consider a shop-bought cheese sandwich a treat compared to a cheese sandwich made at home 🙄

I can sort of see why she suggested sharing because those packs come with the wrap cut into two smaller pieces and tbf for a 4 year old and 7 year old I might have bought the one pack and split it between them - but that because mine would have also had fruit, yoghurt, salad with it, and may well have had a small biscuit or treat with it too like some crisps if it was the weekend.
If all they were getting was the wrap and nothing else I'd have given them a whole pack each.

She has answered - because they are shop bought rather than made at home

Ah gotcha OK see what you mean. Tbf probably slightly more of a treat because shop bought wraps usually are well filled with extra dressings etc.

Wow, you should see how much my kids eat for lunch! Stop listening to your mum, she sounds a bit toxic.

Almond mum
strikes again !! 🤬

At 4 half a wrap is plenty at 7 a whole wrap which includes salad plus a piece of fruit and water would be a fairly balanced lunch, obviously the shop made ones are higher in salt than is ideal but it’s fine as an occasional treat. Mine regularly had wraps in their packed lunches, no different to other bread products.

She needs to butt out. If she can’t or won’t she is best avoided. Having said that , it is quite a lot for a 4 yo in one go.

OP I wonder if it was more about money and your mum felt it was a bit profligate to buy the kids each their own pack? A lot of older people remember a time when buying food out what a huge treat and costly so kids did used to be made to share portions, I remember as a kid if my mum and dad bought packet sandwiches as a real treat on a day out they'd sometimes give us one each from a pack of two sandwiches because it reduced the cost and they were looking to save a bit of money.

OP, it is time to stand up to your mother and tell her not to voice her unique opinions around you or your DC.

I have huge food issues due to being forced to eat food I didn't like, by my primary school teacher and my dad. You have issues because of your mum. Don't let her or you pass those issues onto your DC.

Have you actually read the OP?

Depending on their age, size, and activity level, toddlers need about 1,000–1,400 calories
so even if your children are still toddler age they just went swimming, and a warp is about 1/3 of their calories for the day ie one meal. I can think of a million more unhealthy meals a child might ask for.

Yanbu and you need to protect your children from this toxic influence in their lives to keep them healthy. From now on do not be with your mother for mealtimes or talk about food in her presence. A healthy child will stop eating when they have had enough if the food in front of them is well balanced with plenty of protein and veg. They may overeat if the food available to them is carb- and sugar-heavy as those foods don't tend to trigger the "satisfaction" feeling till you've eaten far too much. A wrap is usually a good healthy choice as there's less carb-to-filling than a sandwich. It doesn't hurt to encourage children to take a 5 minute pause half way through any meal to give their tummy a chance to send an "I'm full" signal, but if they aren't full it is ok to eat and it's unhealthy for competitive undereaters like your mum to try to induce food guilt.

Tell your mother to stop talking to your children, or in their hearing, about food.

I do agree that a full wrap is too much for a 4 year old and probably a bigger than my DC at 7 would have managed.

Assuming they are not having snacks or pudding.

should add I had petite children who are like sparrows, especially the eldest so they probably would have shared plus add a pack of crisps between them to ensure the elder ate enough calories, they shared a meal deal until about 6&8 typically as the elder was the smaller eater. As an adult she orders a kids meal or just a starter plus a side often, her sister eats for England! (Dd2 is still in a normal bmi range as runs, goes to the gym and does a job on her feet a lot currently)

It's a patent who pushes their eating disorder onto their kids but creating fear around food and having "good " foods, " bad " foods.
It comes from Yolanda Hadid on "the real housewife's of Beverly hills" advising one of her daughters, who was complaining about being hungry "to have an almond" and in a later scene becoming visibly anxious at her teenage daughter eating cake

If they were hungry enough to eat them then it wasn’t too much food

Your kids, your decision 🤷‍♀️
when you said wrap, I was expecting the wrap to be one you’d made at home with a bit of lettuce and ham slapped in it 😀. The ones you’ve put up are more filling, but it depends on your children’s appetites. Some 4 yr olds would manage all of it, some half. Tbh I think it’s irrelevant and your mum needs to mind her own business!