To have let my dc have a wrap for lunch?

[Foodfumbles]

We nipped to the shop after swimming and they asked if they could have a wrap for lunch (this is a rare treat for them).

I let them have a whole wrap each (450cals if relevant) and since arriving at my mum’s she has lectured me on letting them eat an adult portion and saying I obviously want them to end up like me (overweight) letting them eat that.
To them she’s said how big their lunch is and even she would be full with a wrap and they should be sharing.

I have had endless food issues throughout my life thanks to how I was raised around food so I struggle to know what’s normal and what is her warped thinking. This is the same woman who told me my child was overweight and was getting fat (she wasn’t at all, she was on the 55th centile and very average!)

Aibu to let them have a whole wrap every now and then?

I'd be keeping them away fom her til she stopped using such damaging language around them. And we know it's damaging from the fact you're asking the question 'is it OK?'.

What did you have for lunch @Foodfumbles ?

I agree.

At the very least I would not be anywhere near her if it involves food and to shut down any conversations about food immediately.

My kids are wraps as standard, but I doubt they could have ever polished off a whole one at those ages, even after swimming/spirting class, training or game.

However, at around 12/13 years of age, one of mine would eat an entire chicken after their sport (1.5hr pre-train, then 2hr game, very full on physical activity from start to stop). Was obviously co-including with a growth spurt as the next season they went back to eating normally.

Calories are one part of the picture. They also need a balance of fruit/veg/carbs/proteins/dairy etc. 400 calories of chocolate is not the same as 400 calories of a wrap. They will also be hungry if they have been swimming. If the children are active, at a healthy weight, and eating a generally balanced diet you are doing great. A wrap is a perfectly normal lunch assuming it was chicken/cheese and some salad and not deep-fried chocolate.

Please, please shut this sort of talk down. You are spiralling @Foodfumbles , posting photos of wrap cartons and tormenting yourself about a perfectly healthy and normal lunch is troubling. I can sense from your words, the picture and even your username how much this is affecting your life.

I know it's not what you are asking about, but I am going to echo some of the other posters. Your mother has damaged you and is continuing to rob you of your peace of mind. I'm guessing in ways other than just food and diet. Is there any way that you can limit your contact and visits, so that she cannot continue to chip away at you an d your children's peace? This will only get worse and she WILL do to your children what she has done to you. But there's hope and you can stop this, or limit its influence. She has no power over you. You are an adult now. I know it's not easy to overcome a lifetime of this. But she is an unpleasant bully and making you feel wretched for doing a perfectly normal, every day thing.

You might want to look at this website - https://outofthefog.website/ - for people with challenging family members. Some of it might seem familiar to you.

Best wishes to you. You're a good mum. x

I literally think well done to you for recognising the issues your mums brought and also not giving your children the same issues. They’ll eat as much as they want to eat of everything and that’s it.

Imagine how much she would have lost her shit if they’d had a meal deal….

anyway this whole thing is insanity. A shop bought wrap isn’t a treat and you shouldn’t have to justify your perfectly normal food choices

Because her mother broke her.

@Foodfumbles well done on questioning this nonsense from your mother.

You do you, Mum. You are doing a great job with your kids.
A treat like that will not harm them. Let them enjoy.
It’s your mother who has the problems.

What do you mean by a “whole chicken”?? @HoppingPavlova

Have you ever actually said to her "Mum, the reason I am overweight is because of your twisted view of eating that gave me serious food issues. If you think I am going to pass that damage on to my kids you are wrong. If you comment on our diet again we will leave, immediately".

It’s clear that your food issues were definitely passed down from your mum.

There’s nothing wrong with what your children ate and I would encourage you to set firm boundaries with your mum about mentioning food and portions etc around your children and I’d encourage you to try and get some therapy yourself around the issue.

My dc is 5, i don’t restrict how much she eats of a normal meal (i do with chocolate and sweets) but with a regular lunch she’ll just eat till she’s full. Most kids are like this with regular food. If i got her a wrap and she wanted both halves of it then that’s clearly what her body needs at that time and I’d be fine with that. She’d most likely only eat half though then say she’s full. If your kids have a healthy relationship with food then they won’t carry on eating when they’re full unless it’s sweets/chocolate/ice cream type food. If they do then you may need to keep an eye on it and make sure portion sizes are appropriate but in general if they’re hungry a whole wrap sometimes sounds pretty normal. Your mum clearly has issues with food. Don’t let her transfer those onto your kids. You’re doing great by not continuing this pattern with your own kids, I know how hard it must be not to if you’ve grown up with her being like that with you

No problem at all with the wraps love, your mum needs to STFU. Her obsession with your eating habits every day of your entire life has given you issues with food, understandably, and now she's trying to inculcate your kids. I'd be falling out with her about it by now, especially if you'd only taken time out of your own busy day to nip round and help her in the first place. She's rude, it was completely unnecessary for her to have said anything at all to anybody about the wraps except to kindly ask your DC if they were enjoying their meal💐

I have a 'friend' who is bizarrely, conspicuously ovwr-invested in my weight/ size/ shape. She never fails to mention it ever, and she gets right on my tits with it. Stand up to your mum if you can.

A whole chicken is a whole chicken ????? No idea what you are asking? It’s a chook that has had head and legs cut off and has had innards removed. It has had feathers plucked. It’s then packaged for sale. Surely you have seen or purchased a chicken either raw where you have cooked/roasted it yourself, or you have purchased a pre-cooked bbq chook?

Your mum needs to mind her own jogging business with regards to her attitudes to food, and sort out her own problems before lecturing you.

What could it possibly mean other than an entire chicken?? You know, the kind you buy at the supermarket, either pre-cooked or for cooking at home.

How many was this entire chicken supposed to feed?!

Yes but usually they are for 4-6 people!!

No, it suggests you haven't bothered yourself to read the OP's posts.

What a weird question. Have you ever eaten a chicken before? Are you a lifelong vegetarian?

I wonder whether you would like this thread, OP.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5513092-constant-competitive-undereating-is-giving-me-the-rage?page=1

I am sure that your children can be allowed a wrap after swimming with no ill effects.

Of course I have

An entire chicken usually feeds 4/6 people!

What is wrong with you? An entire chicken would usually be quartered to feed 4 adults (2 x breast quarters and 2 x leg quarters), or would usually feed 2 adults and up to 4 children as children would eat half a breast quarter each.

Have you literally never seen or had a whole chook to cook/eat?