To have let my dc have a wrap for lunch?

[Foodfumbles]

We nipped to the shop after swimming and they asked if they could have a wrap for lunch (this is a rare treat for them).

I let them have a whole wrap each (450cals if relevant) and since arriving at my mum’s she has lectured me on letting them eat an adult portion and saying I obviously want them to end up like me (overweight) letting them eat that.
To them she’s said how big their lunch is and even she would be full with a wrap and they should be sharing.

I have had endless food issues throughout my life thanks to how I was raised around food so I struggle to know what’s normal and what is her warped thinking. This is the same woman who told me my child was overweight and was getting fat (she wasn’t at all, she was on the 55th centile and very average!)

Aibu to let them have a whole wrap every now and then?

You know, while I wouldn’t be thrilled, eating a whole chicken is probably better than consuming a massive pile of crisps and chocolate.

Tell me you dont have a sports mad teenage boy without telling me.

Ok? Why are you so horrified? It’s perfectly normal for children and teenagers to eat huge amounts of food some days and barely any on others.

Yeah, I would imagine that's why the user commented on her DC eating one by himself...

Sometimes people are hungry. Have you never eaten an entire box of biscuits or a whole block of cheese? It's unusual enough to be worthy of comment but it's not a literal impossibility.

I haven’t no but when it comes to Greek yoghurt and granola…. The amount I put away can be obscene!

I was just intrigued by the idea of a 12 year old eating an entire chicken for 4-6 people In one sitting!

I’m not horrified

I’m intrigued and impressed. An entire chicken in one sitting at 12 years old. And presumably with accompaniments!

Your mum is ridiculous and is far more likely to cause issues for them with the way she’s being. For all my mum’s faults, she refused to talk about weight/diets/body image and I have zero issues with food - I eat what I want but I’m healthy with it, lots of salads & fruit but I enjoy chocolate and Prosecco too and I would never mention anything like this to my daughter.

Your mum did this to you growing up by the sounds of it and good for you that you’re now breaking the cycle for your DC. I would be inclined to say to your mum “please don’t mention anything about portion size or food to my DC, I want them to have a healthy relationship with food”.

Ridiculous. A 7 year old needs up to 2000 calories a day. 225 for lunch would be piddly.

I'd be more concerned about salt etc If they were eating shop wraps daily.

Oh I do. 15 so even bigger than a 12 year old.

can someone not be at least intrigued by the idea of a 12 year old eating an entire children with presumably other food as well in one sitting?!

It appears not!

It’s a wrap not an entire chocolate cake! Probably better for digestion than some stodgy white bread.

The very fact you are exposing yourself and your young children to this abusive woman and asking this question on mumsnet would indicate you need to get yourself in to therapy @Foodfumbles . Sharpish. And in the meantime… fgs stop seeing the woman

Your mum is being ridiculous. You need to set boundaries with her that she doesn’t comment on your parenting choices.

Did they eat it all?

Yes: It’s fine 🤷🏻‍♀️
No: It was a bit much for them, but it doesn’t matter because they were satisfied and they didn’t eat it all 🤷🏻‍♀️

Tell her to mind her own business.

BTW those wraps are lovely 😆

Well firstly I agree with others, your mum is way out of line.

Secondly, I'm always STARVING after swimming - so good on you for getting some substantial food into your kids after swimming. A full wrap does seem quite a lot for a 4 year old, BUT I would only say it was too much if you encouraged them to finish it "to avoid waste", otherwise it's fine.

Personally I wouldn't make a big issue of it with your mum, just say something mild like "I don't like to comment on what people are eating, it's kinda rude, don't you think?" and leave it at that.

How is a wrap a treat?
what is normal food then?

Calorie wise, one of those wraps would probably be near a full days calorie intake for your 4 year old.

The OP said it was 450 calories, so of course it's not, don't be ridiculous!

Why on Earth would you even look at calories content for your children food???

OP I grew up like this. I ended up having a gastric sleeve because my messed up mum made me so weird about food. She once asked me why I was giving my 1 yr old dd roast as "eating carbs will have her looking like you"

were no contact now and I'm desperate to avoid passing my issues on. You fed th a perfectly fine portion. Please look after yourself

I think you should probably stop taking dietary and nutritional guidance from someone who clearly has her own issues with food.

She’s already passed those onto you; you definitely don’t want her doing the same to your DC, do you? I think now might be the time to lay down some serious and non negotiable boundaries with her. Mainly, that if she so much as raises an eyebrow over your children's diets then she will not see them again until she’s learnt to keep her warped ideas about food to herself.

OP, your mum was being a bit of a cow - especially saying that you want them to end up like you - that's just a horrible thing to say to your own child.

Ideally you would be able to say to her, look mum, you screwed me up about food, you're not going to do it to my kids. And then she'd never say anything ever again.

That's probably not going to happen, so I would probably just go down the grey rock/avoid eating in her presence route.

You know she's said all sorts of unhealthy things to you. So trust yourself that if she says anything about your kids and food, that you know that's bullshit too.

Thinking of you. It's hard.

You don't have a wrap problem you have a mother problem!

As many have said, get her told! She is not to remark on their (or your) weight/food or you won't take them to see her or visit (do jobs) yourself.

she's done enough damage already & you're trying to over come that, you don't need her shit in your ear & your children don't need to be exposed to her bollocks about food/weight!

about the wraps, all kids are different, as long as they understand they can leave food if they've had enough, then it's all good. Most 7 years olds would eat it all, most 4 year olds would eat half some days & the whole one & still looking for other things other days!

Ignore your mother. I don't measure how much my children eat, as long as in general their diet is balanced and not full of processed junk then their appetites will self regulate. I should add that if you are indeed overweight it is highly likely down to whatever relationship with food that your mother fostered in you growing up. I am slightly overweight and it's because as a child I was made to clear my plate always was given lots of praise for being able to eat large portions. As a result I always struggled to regulate my appetite, always eating till uncomfortably full. This wasn't such an issue when I was younger, very active and with a more youthful metabolism but it is an issue now in midlife and I am working hard to now notice when full.

The environment with your mother is toxic

nothing to do with calories but at those ages I’d have give them one to share and given them raw veg and fruit on the side too.

id not even think about the nutritional value as a one off tbh

I have no idea what the problem is here.

A wrap is just unleavened bread. What on earth is wrong with a flatbread?

a relative once commented on how much rice I gave my DD fir a random lunch. My child was a normal weight. I didn’t say anything but I thought that it was none of her business what I fed my perfectly healthy child. It would be one thing if she was overweight and I gave her chips and nuggets daily but she wasn’t and I didn’t.