To tell/not tell family after cousin hit BF with scooter? Both don’t want me to

[Zanygreenan]

I’m 21, my mum and dad are in Cancun this week for their 25th anniversary so I’m home alone this week. I invited my boyfriend, 23, round for a stopover tonight for a bit of company and my little cousin, 9, who lives on our estate one street away, popped in whilst playing out on his scooter with a friend.

We were sitting in the garden and my cousin was sat in a seat and got up for a drink and my BF sat in his seat whilst he was gone. Cousin asked him to move and BF refused and telling cousin and his friend to play somewhere else (with a mean tone). Cousin was angry that he refused to move and then hit BF in the face with his scooter. BF fell back out of the chair and then cousin hit him once more with the scooter and stamped on his wrist. I then managed to pull cousin off him and sent him in the house. Then I rinsed off the blood from BF’s face and then he sat down in the conservatory.

He has a massive headache and can’t move his wrist. BF doesn’t want anyone to know about the interaction and doesn’t want to go to hospital but he may have broken his wrist so I suggested it would be best to pop into A&E to check? Cousin has asked me not to say anything to his mum (my aunt) or my mum because he doesn’t want to get into trouble considering that he has already had a fight at school last year. Cousin is a nice boy overall but he doesn’t react well to confrontation and gets aggressive quickly and BF’s attitude towards him this afternoon topped him over the edge.

My aunt has just text me asking to walk cousin back to theirs as it’s starting to get dark out. I don’t know what to do as cousin is begging me not to say anything and BF also doesn’t want me to say anything either but if I don’t say anything it’ll look bad on me when eventually when his and my parents find out. I just feel like I’m stuck in the middle of an awkward situation.

What should I do?

🤣

why are you so triggered. Are you the BF? Must be.

Rubbish no 9 year should tell an adult to move

It’s ironic that you talk about other people’s comprehension.

When you take a young adult merely telling a kid to play somewhere else and sitting down in chair and make them sound like some controlling abuser.

Melodramatic much?

Have you considered the possibility that the BF may not have been around children BiL so simply has no experience of interacting with them ?

You are massively underplaying the cousins behaviour here, I have never heard of such aggression from a child so young and I know plenty of SEND/dysregulated children as I work in that field.
BF was an idiot and mean but didn’t deserve that.
Your aunt needs to know, otherwise you are all complicit in his next bout of anger which may end in serious repercussions.

Be quite hard given I’m female. And 48 not 23.

But you crack on with your wild assumptions.

You know what they say about assumption being the mother of all fuck ups though…..

I'm not a "boy mum" and I agree with @browneyes77.

At 23 most males are really not fully cooked. Many don't mature until their 30s/40s and the rest never do.

You did the right thing telling your auntie. Hope you had words with your BF as that’s not on how he spoke to them! Regardless of whether he likes kids or not doesn’t mean it’s ok to speak to them like that.

Also this is a very aggressive reaction to words so hope your auntie speaks to your cousin too. As he needs to learn that he can’t do that to people, what if that has been a child of a similar age, he could have done some really damage!!

Did he get his wrist looked at?

As much as anything, your aunt needs to know because this needs sorting before her son ends up in prison. This isn't "anger issues" or a melt down, this is serious violent assault with a weapon. If he does this in a few years with a teenage or adult body he could really hurt someone and end up in very serious trouble. You don't want him in prison for murder aged 17. Your aunt needs to get on top of what on earth is going on, it's not normal!
I don't think you need an ambulance, people call them too often and they're slower than just getting yourself there, he doesnt need a paramedic, but he should go get checked out for sure. He can make that decision for himself though, you're not his mum.

The clues are right there in your posts 🙄

Yep. Sounds like projection to me 😂

I must’ve touched a nerve 🤣

I read an article before about I think what were juvenile detention centres in America and for those who were suspected psychopaths they had early interventions for them. They found they were very motivated by rewards and privileges so if they can get the rewards and privileges by doing good things they may well go down that path instead of choosing to get the rewards by doing bad things. There are many psychopaths who don't do anything to harm others.

Cousin was angry that he refused to move and then hit BF in the face with his scooter. BF fell back out of the chair and then cousin hit him once more with the scooter and stamped on his wrist.

I don't care how rude your BF was, this is a shocking and utterly outrageous level of violence for a 9 year old!

It was over a CHAIR and WORDS!!

You need to tell Aunt so she can get him some help.

If he does that to a child he could kill them!

Theses are in no way acceptable levels of violence in a child or man of ANY age.

OP 9 and smashing an adult twice with a scooter isn’t ‘nice’. Unchecked anger issues at 9 makes you wonder 1) why has he got anger issues at 9? Has he got wider family/home problems or developmental/SEN? 2) If not addressed now he will be a violent adult with far more strength than a 9 year old boy.

Your BF not hang a child person is no excuse to speak this way to 9 year olds - what a loser. He’s an adult. I would dump him because imagine what he would be like if yoj
got pregnant? Yikes.

In trouble for what??

Thanks. That's somewhat encouraging.

Honestly so bizarre 😂

1. you need to get him to be checked over, take the lead here, yes he will groan.
2. yes you know you need to tell your aunt, this is quite an altercation for a 9yr old and needs to be addressed as will get worse for him if not dealt with.

So much victim blaming.
Frankly if I were the BF and my GF was minimising the amount of violence required to break a wrist and be hit in the face with a scooter (twice), I would already be rethinking the relationship.

You need to tell his mum. If he were to assault another child like this he could cause more serious damage and you keeping it to yourself that he has a history isn't the best idea. You'll probably find your boyfriend is embarrassed to seek medical help because he then has to tell them a kid did those injuries to him and his ego is probably telling him not to shame himself into admitting that a 9year old battered him. Your cousin needs help controlling his explosive behaviour and whilst your boyfriend may have spoken in a bit of a mean tone it doesn't justify the kid bashing someone TWICE with a heavy metal scooter then taking advantage of him being knocked on the floor and proceeding to do further damage by stamping on his wrist

Your cousin needs help before his behaviour escalates

And you need to recognise when a thread is nearly 24 hours old.

He’s an adult and can make his own decisions

Greetings original commenter 💚
I can empathise & comprehend why you're feeling in bewilderment & I've faith you'll make the right decision ~
God bless you
In relation to your bf not going for an x-ray, it seems like he's trying to save face & doesn't wish to admit that a 9 year old Child caused this
If you could maybe try to make him see that he just needs to find out if he needs to be in plaster etc...
Put his mind at ease that it's just to see to his injury... Some years ago I had a bike accident resulting in me breaking a bone in hand. If I'd not had an x-ray I'd never have known I needed to be in plaster
Really hope your bf sees the light & if he's still being stubborn, maybe tell him it's really unfair on you, his girlfriend, to watch him suffering, left without treatment
Wishing You&Yours all the utmost very best

When I 1st read this I thought it was an accident. This wasn't an accident this child has anger issues.