To tell/not tell family after cousin hit BF with scooter? Both don’t want me to

[Zanygreenan]

I’m 21, my mum and dad are in Cancun this week for their 25th anniversary so I’m home alone this week. I invited my boyfriend, 23, round for a stopover tonight for a bit of company and my little cousin, 9, who lives on our estate one street away, popped in whilst playing out on his scooter with a friend.

We were sitting in the garden and my cousin was sat in a seat and got up for a drink and my BF sat in his seat whilst he was gone. Cousin asked him to move and BF refused and telling cousin and his friend to play somewhere else (with a mean tone). Cousin was angry that he refused to move and then hit BF in the face with his scooter. BF fell back out of the chair and then cousin hit him once more with the scooter and stamped on his wrist. I then managed to pull cousin off him and sent him in the house. Then I rinsed off the blood from BF’s face and then he sat down in the conservatory.

He has a massive headache and can’t move his wrist. BF doesn’t want anyone to know about the interaction and doesn’t want to go to hospital but he may have broken his wrist so I suggested it would be best to pop into A&E to check? Cousin has asked me not to say anything to his mum (my aunt) or my mum because he doesn’t want to get into trouble considering that he has already had a fight at school last year. Cousin is a nice boy overall but he doesn’t react well to confrontation and gets aggressive quickly and BF’s attitude towards him this afternoon topped him over the edge.

My aunt has just text me asking to walk cousin back to theirs as it’s starting to get dark out. I don’t know what to do as cousin is begging me not to say anything and BF also doesn’t want me to say anything either but if I don’t say anything it’ll look bad on me when eventually when his and my parents find out. I just feel like I’m stuck in the middle of an awkward situation.

What should I do?

He could have killed your boyfriend so your cousin needs some sort of therapy.

You need to tell his parents before he does actually kill someone.

You definitely tell the childs parents.

No good can come of keeping such secrets from them.

Your BF.. well I would think refusing to get treatment because it means admitting a child battered you is a massive red flag, as is being vile to a child. So he can do as he pleases with his injuries but I would ditch him, he's not going to improve!

You say something to his aunt because this child needs serious help, surely not to cover your own back?!

Throwing scooters at people isn't on really.

From OP's account the cousin didn't throw the scooter - he was still attached to it when it made contact with the BF.

I hope you've never had to give evidence!

Definitely say something to your cousins mother, tell her that her child is vicious and that she is lucky your BF didn’t punch the little brat in the face in retaliation.
If my child behaved like this I would want to know.

@Isittimeformynapyet Yes you’re right, he hit him directly. Also he’s 9 so below the age of criminal responsibility so nothing can happen to him right?

Your cousin is absolutely not a nice boy overall.

He hit someone twice with a scooter and then stamped on their wrist?? He sounds absolutely awful. And he’ll end up in trouble with the police while you all bleat on that really he’s lovely and isn’t everyone else just so mean.

Your boyfriend also sounds unpleasant, although a violent 9 yr old and their friend coming round isn’t my idea of a nice afternoon.

I don't care what your BF said or did to your cousin even if he told him to Fuck Off a 9 year should not react like that . You don't have to tell your parents but you do have tell your aunt . As this is a pattern he needs to know he can not do this without consequences. To inflict that much damage on an adult in someone else's home over a chair or remark is pretty serious . He is only 9 what will he be like as a teenager.

You absolutely must tell the parents. And I'd be seriously considering telling the police. If he makes a similar attack on someone his own age it could easily be fatal.

And if your BF has been hit in the face with a scooter and has a massive headache, he probably has concussion - so 'he's an adult and can make his own decisions' won't apply. He isn't thinking straight. He needs to go to A&E, now. Insist.

🙄

Are you on a wind up? You're focusing on the wrong things here.

This

You tell your aunt about cousin’s action.
Send BF to A&E.

Your BF was unnecessarily blunt with 2 9yo boys but if he’s not use to young kids and came round to see you probably just expressed it badly.

but however bad his tone that is absolutely NO excuse for repeated physical assault from your cousin. You MUST say something. What happens if his wife uses a tone he doesn’t like in the future?

as for your BF refusing medical help. He’s likely embarrassed about being so severely assaulted by a child - especially if he knows his initial tone wasn’t as nice as it could have been.

I’ve reported this thread. It’s a load of rubbish.

BF is an adult. He gets to decide on A&E.

Your cousin is a child and his parents need to know what he has done. Tell them calmly and factually. There was a small element of provocation - taking his seat and speaking in an unpleasant tone - but his response was violent and his parents need to know. What your BF did was no worse than what your cousin is likely to get at school - and he cannot go around responding like this.

You should have taken him home straightaway.

Crazy.

of course the friend and what he tells his mother is your responsibility. It happened in your home. Infront of a child.

you tell both parents.
you send your boyfriend to hospital and have a good think about the company you keep

Can't believe a 9 year old is behaving like that , it is very worrying .

You absolutely must tell your aunt! Sounds like BF really needs to go to A&E but he's an adult so you can't make him. Does BF live with his parents still? Maybe send him home to them if he won't go to A&E?

Nothing justifies what your cousin did, even if your BF was being mean, but your BF sounds like a bit of an idiot tbh.

Where you there?? Do you know how he spoke to the child?
And I did also say that the parents needed to be informed of the kids completely unacceptable behaviour.

I’ve just called my aunt and let her know of the situation and now she’s just heading over here.

The trouble comes when he decides in six months (whenever his birthday is) to twat a ten year old around the head with a lump of steel with pointy bits, stamp on their arms/hands/skull and not stop until somebody drags him off them - and they have (like your BF could well do) a skull fracture, facial fractures, a broken wrist or a bleed on the brain.

He needs urgent intervention. Which he won't get if you keep this a secret.

This child needs help. You absolutely must tell. Also your bf sounds like a dick

You think this kid is "overall a nice kid"? I don't know which of the three of you in this story needs help the most.

OP's BF was childish but her cousin's response was terrible and very concerning. Such violent behaviour isn't normal and he has inflicted some pretty serious injuries on OP's boyfriend.