To tell/not tell family after cousin hit BF with scooter? Both don’t want me to

[Zanygreenan]

I’m 21, my mum and dad are in Cancun this week for their 25th anniversary so I’m home alone this week. I invited my boyfriend, 23, round for a stopover tonight for a bit of company and my little cousin, 9, who lives on our estate one street away, popped in whilst playing out on his scooter with a friend.

We were sitting in the garden and my cousin was sat in a seat and got up for a drink and my BF sat in his seat whilst he was gone. Cousin asked him to move and BF refused and telling cousin and his friend to play somewhere else (with a mean tone). Cousin was angry that he refused to move and then hit BF in the face with his scooter. BF fell back out of the chair and then cousin hit him once more with the scooter and stamped on his wrist. I then managed to pull cousin off him and sent him in the house. Then I rinsed off the blood from BF’s face and then he sat down in the conservatory.

He has a massive headache and can’t move his wrist. BF doesn’t want anyone to know about the interaction and doesn’t want to go to hospital but he may have broken his wrist so I suggested it would be best to pop into A&E to check? Cousin has asked me not to say anything to his mum (my aunt) or my mum because he doesn’t want to get into trouble considering that he has already had a fight at school last year. Cousin is a nice boy overall but he doesn’t react well to confrontation and gets aggressive quickly and BF’s attitude towards him this afternoon topped him over the edge.

My aunt has just text me asking to walk cousin back to theirs as it’s starting to get dark out. I don’t know what to do as cousin is begging me not to say anything and BF also doesn’t want me to say anything either but if I don’t say anything it’ll look bad on me when eventually when his and my parents find out. I just feel like I’m stuck in the middle of an awkward situation.

What should I do?

Makes perfect sense to me. The time to call an ambulance was immediately after the incident as there were other injuries causing possible concussion. An ambulance was more appropriate at that point. OP dropping in afterwards and finding BF’s wrist swollen is a reason to go to A&E themselves, not to call an ambulance to to them there.

The OP was minimising the whole post to enable and excuse her shitty nephew. The bloke had one, potentially 2 head injuries.

I think her boyfriend is a twat, man child who should not behave like this. She needed to rinse blood from his face as he was not able to do it himself? What a child. It went too far, I agree, but he was asking for it. Parents should know yes and if it's that bad then he should go to the hospital. Maybe he will stop provoking next time and he learned a lesson!

This kid is someone's future partner and potential dad, that is worrying in itself.

If he's not in prison by then at least

Please don’t waste an ambulance, please make your own way to minor injuries.

Wtf is wrong with you? No one is ever asking for an assault!

Will this boys future wife be asking for it when he beats the shit out of her for telling him off too?

You do know people with head injuries often are not able to make good decisions? It sounded like he was hit hard enough in the head to cause a wound and bleeding, and likely he was dazed and dizzy.

if you’ve ever caught your ankle on a kids scooter- it’s fucking painful!

all you victim blamers- have you never walked into a room, saw an empty chair and sat down. Only for someone to walk in and say hey I was sat there…. Quite often if it’s a child the adult will say tough, you were off playing.

Surely the reasonable behaviour if you leave, and come back to someone in a seat you previously occupied, is just to find another seat. Not attack them with a scooter and stamp on their wrist!!

the boyfriend didn’t fight back or touch the child attacking him.

I cannot believe what I’m reading.

When can that level of violence be justified by anyone. Even more so a child?

I despair 😞

Seems to me the bf was pissed off 2 kids invaded his alone time with his girlfriend and wanted them to fuck off. It was 8 in the evening, why were they hanging out with an adult female cousin? I’d be pissed if someone invited me over and then proceeded to allow random kids to come over too. That’s the end of any adult/private conversations, meals or TV (or yes any other activities couples like to engage in but I’m not suggesting that was his main driver)

He didn’t handle it well and not being a ‘kid person’ is not an excuse for rudeness (and also a bit of a red flag). But you really can’t tell a lot about his character from this 1 instance.

Well done for telling cousin’s DM.

Now you need to get BF to A&E, he sounds like he might have concussion and therefore may not be able to make decisions about his wellbeing. Head injuries like that can be very serious (at very worst permanent damage / death) he needs medical attention.

then I’d dump BF for bring a shit and I’d tell cousin’s DM you don’t want him at your house unless she is present / don’t want to be responsible for him, he sounds like a liability.

Assuming this is all true (as PPs have suggested otherwise).

1. It doesn't matter what tone your BF used, a nine-year old brutally assaulted him
2. That same child has already attacked another child at school
3. This shouldn't be minimised; this behaviour is extremely dangerous. A peer or younger child could have been killed if he'd attacked them with a scooter.
4. Your boyfriend needs medical attention. He has had a head injury. He could have bleeding on the brain. He could have a broken wrist.
5. Your nephew needs help. This is not in any way normal behaviour.

Garbage. The bf controlled himself well. This child is only going to get worse.

Any updates OP?
how is your BF?
How is the other child who had to witness the assault?
What consequences have their been for the perpetrator of the asssult?

Pretty shocked that you’re asking what to do here tbh! This wasn’t just a rammed his foot with a scooter scenario this was a full blown serious assault!
im guessing your bf feels somehow embarrassed as it was a 9 yr old? But still needs medical attention. As for your cousin he absolutely needs serious help here, that’s not a normal response at all!
im wondering who’s going to be the actual adult in this situation ?!

Bf is a grown adult if he chooses not to go to A&E that's his lookout but you have to tell your Aunt about her DC violent behaviour. Next time he might assault a small child. He needs anger management training.

How would you feel if you said nothing and a pensioner or someone else said something your cousin didn't like and he knocked them over and they ended up dead, and your cousin locked away? Speak up now, his mom deserves to know what she's dealing with, he needs help, maybe anger management I'm not sure.

9 years old and behaving that violently of course his parents need to know hes a serious risk to other children if hes managed to do that much damage to an adult !!! He needs to learn actions have consequences and covering for him won't end well in the long run .

He is NOT nice boy at all hes violent and dangerous stop minimising his behaviour you are doing him no favours at all .

Such awful victim blaming on this thread by some posters. No, the BF wasn't asking for it. Taking someone's chair when they get up and speaking to them 'mean' (whatever that means here) are not goading or bullying or any of the other excuses being made. Some people don't like children much. Especially feral and violent ones. It's not a crime or an excuse to be seriously assaulted.

What happens when it's another child at school, maybe a smaller one and the injury kills them. Or a teacher who tells him off for being a little shit.
Or what happens when he picks on the wrong person, maybe an elderly person in a shop who comments on his bad manners. Is he going to batter them to death and you'll still be saying it's because the nasty man was mean to him.

There is absolutely no excuse for this kind of violence. In any setting, by any person. It's so shocking that some people would try to say there is. He wasn't under threat by the BF, this isn't self defence, it is straight up assault. It's very worrying behaviour in a child this age and it need dealing with. Otherwise the consequences for the future are just dire.

If he is acting this way at 9years of age this is a taste of things to come. His behaviour is totally unacceptable, showing he doesn't care who you are, my way, or l will sort it out with violence. You need to tell your aunt, this behaviour needs to be out in the open, and dealt with....this is the start of what's to come

You do know we can see your original post saying the boyfriend totally deserved it!

If he is acting this way at 9years of age this is a taste of things to come. His behaviour is totally unacceptable, showing he doesn't care who you are, my way, or l will sort it out with violence. You need to tell your aunt, this behaviour needs to be out in the open, and dealt with....this is the start of what's to come. This is assault & this 9yr old is a year off being held criminal responsible. This behaviour isn't anything his mother can sort out, he needs professional health, otherwise we will ne hearing about him in years to come, & it won't be anything nice.

He wasn't asking for it. Would you say the same if it was a 70 year old man who took the seat and then told the kids to play somewhere else?

He could easily have been concussed and in shock, it's normal for people to help people after they've been injured.

If the OP posted that her boyfriends cousin did this to her and that the boyfriend thought she deserved it and didn't even help her with her injuries everyone would be saying that wasn't normal and to run a mile.

I agree