To be incredibly jealous of friends home?

[NeverMindMee]

One of my friends has recently bought a new home and is doing it up and I can’t help but feel so incredibly jealous.

We have a lovely home but I feel it’s so boring. We bought a new build a few years ago and it’s a lovely house. I am very happy with it. We have not millennial grey washed it but it we have been very sensible with our choices. Carpets that don’t show dirt, solid furniture in sensible colours for children that will last. Sensible storage options etc.

We get lots of compliments on our home and it is lovely but I feel like it has absolutely no personality, you would never walk into it and think “oh that home belongs to so and so”.

My friends house on the other hand has so much personality. She has spent ages going to thrift shops and up cycling one of a kind items, hand selecting everything. You would absolutely walk into that house and know it belongs to her and her DP. It reflects their personality so beautifully.

I can’t help but compare. Her house isn’t what I would have myself so I’m not jealous of her things but I am jealous because I’m sat here in my boring home. If I wanted to bring anything crazy in I’m sure DH would say no way.

Do you dress safe as well or do you wear anything colourful or stylish?

It sounds like you lack confidence in your choices, OP. If you buy something and it doesn't work - give it away! Car boot it! If you paint and it turns out to be the wrong choice, paint over it!

Make yourself a Pinterest board or similar of things you like and introduce a few small changes at first. Unless you are knocking down walls, everything is reversible, everything can be put back the way it was if you hate what you do. But take your courage in both hands and make some changes - it's not forever and you can have some fun experimenting.

I don't think you need to spend a fortune or do anything whacky to personalise your house. You just need to work out what you like. That's not as easy as it sounds (I have this trouble as I dont have much imagination for visualising things, I have to see it first to know I like it iyswim.)

Try having a look at Rightmove photos to get some inspiration about what feels like "you" and would work in your rooms. Keep your eyes open when you're out and about. My dining room was inspired by a local cocktail bar which has long since been closed but I loved the paint colour and type of light fittings and that set me off researching where to find similar things that gave the same vibe. Sometimes it works to have one "statement" piece in each room to transform the whole look of an otherwise neutral room. In my living room I've got a big freestanding Tiffany lamp and in my bedroom I've got a huge mirror with an ornate frame (I'm not saying get those things but start having a think about what focal pieces feel like you.)

You might be surprised how much you enjoy it. Go bit by bit and don't rush or you could end up deluged with stuff that feels too much or clashes. we used to have a neighbour who had tiffany lamps, William Morris prints and Chinese wind charms everywhere, several of each in every room. Individually I liked the stuff but altogether it made my senses dizzy!

This, and I don't care if it's pedantic. Envy and jealousy are not synonymous and they are different emotions.

Meanwhile I’m sat in my rented property that costs me £1550 a month and I can’t decorate or alter it whatsoever.
you have nothing to be jealous about.

You can decorate for far less than this. You need to know what you want though. You probably have quite a blank canvas to start with and you can, and maybe should, let some of your home evolve.
Think about what colours and combinations appeal to you, check what would work for the light direction in each room.
What feel of a house works for you? Mid century, Victorian, blingy, stately home?
Go and wander round something like John Lewis, not just at decor but at how colours are used together in fashion too. If you see something that appeals try to analyse what it is you like, shape, colour, texture. Take photos where appropriate.
Create some mood boards, either on something like Pinterest or actual on a board.
Get lots of samples especially if free.
For me things which always add to feeling like a welcoming home are plenty of plants, cushions where appropriate and the ability to vary the lighting.
TK Maxx is excellent for cushions and plant pots. Don’t forget the resources you have, move round pictures and things to see if they sing more in another space.
Enjoy the process.

Have you got a special area to you like a reading corner or something? Start with finding a really cool wallpaper you like in a small area like that or a downstairs loo and get some house plants in, I always think they make an area look lovely! Then maybe slowly extend from there with the odd print/painting/photos of yourselves but in cool frames etc.

I know what you mean, our house does have a bit of colour and personality but my husbands school friend is AMAZING at interior decor and cool antique pieces. I always come away from her house inspired to do more 😅

Maybe start with colour? It can be absolutely transformative.

This isn’t my house, and I think the chandelier is hideous and the painting isn’t to my taste, but the strong colours are similar to what we have in the living room. With bare floorboards and kilims and one wall of bookshelves. Open fire. It’s quite scruffy in many ways, but it works as a room, and is pleasant to be in.

Have you looked at Instagram? There are lots of posters that inject amazing colour and personal style into their homes. Just because wall-to-wall pink or funky shaped vases aren't your style, doesn't mean that you won't see one element that piques your interest, or an approach that may work in your home.

Hi!! I get what you mean , chat gpt is great for this - take a photo of your room and ask it for decor ideas in a style you like, browse a few instagram pages for ideas of thing you can do cheaply. I’m the queen of doing this myself/ for cheap so you’d be surprised how little you need to spend to spruce up an area. Alternatively feel free to send me some photos and il give you cheap suggestions of things you can do, shelves, photo frames, photo wall, accent colour or paint feature on a wall makes all the difference without changing anything big. Repainting furniture or even picture frames you have also super cheap. Mirrors , rugs etc all spruce up an area!

I once moved to an old but pretty featureless house. My DBro (who has excellent if minimalist taste) said " Never mind Sis, you'll soon turn it into a twee Victorian hellhole" (and I did, although I disagee with the twee and hellhole aspects TBF, prefer "Arts and Crafts influenced" 😂)

Good advice above about Pinterest etc. Start small, couple of cushions in colours/fabrics you love. Places evolve, you don't need an interior designer and although you're not certain what your taste is now, you'll find out.

So change yours then

Honestly, posts like this were made for bingo cards!

My house is a mish mash (ahem, eclectic) and I envy people who have a vision, even if it’s not my taste.

Can you add elements to your house that will give it a bit of personality without being in your face?

When my kids (uni) have properly left home and I downsize (as a single), I dream of a pretty, pinks and pastels, bungalow/cottage, sigh.

I know the point you are trying to make but friend I am talking about has just moved from a rental she wasn’t allowed to decorate or even put a screw in the wall of and her house was amazing even then.

She used stick on wallpaper, stick on shelving, command strips, light switch covers. She put some kind of magnetic sheeting in the kitchen. She changed all the handles on her doors and just switched them back at the end of her tenancy. There’s lots of renter friendly hacks. Some I would never end think of!

I am just not creative.

As someone who had to leave a (beautiful) house because of a serious issue I would say it is the non-material things which matter.

That is gorgeous but DH would be a hard pass on that kind of colour coverage and it’s his house too.

This is a crude example but just to show you how you can add different accent colours to change the vibe of a room. Don’t forget you can return items if you change your mind! There is no risk in buying a cushion or lamp to see how it looks in your space!

Jealousy is a very negative emotion. Jealous people are not in my experience happy and contented people.

You don’t need to paint the walls, just start off with a cushion or ornament.

You could tell your friend what you've said here, that you love her house and all her good ideas, you want to make changes and has she got any tips for yours, eg layout? People thrive on being asked for such advice, on the whole.

If you care enough then change it, if you don’t then stop fretting

I'm jealous of my cousin's homes. Yeah they have several. All gorgeously decorated, quirky but tasteful, comfortable, welcoming, tidy, calm. Not a speck of dust anywhere.

I really do wish I could just have a tiny fraction of that. But my house is just falling apart and whenever we try and fix one thing another worse thing breaks. It's kind of demoralising. And being disabled we are not really able to do much DIY.

You sound somewhat irrational really. You chose your new build box home, you chose your decor, you chose your furniture. You've got what you wanted? Your friend has chosen to do things differently, how they want. And it sounds like they've put a huge amount of blood, sweat, and probably tears, into getting there. Renovating a house, up cycling furniture etc all takes a huge amount of time. Maybe you're not bold enough or stylish enough to pull off what they've done, and that's what you're jealous of?

She has spent ages going to thrift shops and up cycling one of a kind items, hand selecting everything.
Do you want to spend this time and energy on your house?

You use the word boring, but maybe yours is just low key so you can use your time, energy and money on other things?

I find this a bit bizarre.

You like the style of this person's home yet are jealous rather than thinking "how can I bring style to my home".

Is it really style you're jealous of? Or do you feel there's a reflection of personality here? Because jealousy is a really strange emotion to have.

If you want to have unique pieces which you pick up for a bargain, you need to put in the hours in reclaim places, facebook marketplace etc. Even TK Maxx is worth a look once you get past the life sized pink flamingos. Stop whinging about it and do something!

Or, if you don't want to put in the hours, you need to pay for someone who will.

Those are two practical options for you. If you need inspiration, try Pinterest. If you don't know how to create an overall aesthetic, then pay someone. What point is it wallowing in misery because of your beige surroundings? Do something!