To be incredibly jealous of friends home?

[NeverMindMee]

One of my friends has recently bought a new home and is doing it up and I can’t help but feel so incredibly jealous.

We have a lovely home but I feel it’s so boring. We bought a new build a few years ago and it’s a lovely house. I am very happy with it. We have not millennial grey washed it but it we have been very sensible with our choices. Carpets that don’t show dirt, solid furniture in sensible colours for children that will last. Sensible storage options etc.

We get lots of compliments on our home and it is lovely but I feel like it has absolutely no personality, you would never walk into it and think “oh that home belongs to so and so”.

My friends house on the other hand has so much personality. She has spent ages going to thrift shops and up cycling one of a kind items, hand selecting everything. You would absolutely walk into that house and know it belongs to her and her DP. It reflects their personality so beautifully.

I can’t help but compare. Her house isn’t what I would have myself so I’m not jealous of her things but I am jealous because I’m sat here in my boring home. If I wanted to bring anything crazy in I’m sure DH would say no way.

I would like to think so too! I just fear I would continue to pick out boring pieces. Or I’d pick something slightly funky and it would stick out like a sore thumb amongst all of my other sensible choices.

Whenever I feel envious , which I do occasionally, I think about how bloody lucky I am to have a home , paid for now , in reasonable condition for it's age . I don't have expensive things , in fact I get a lot of items from charity shops because I'm on a pension . Your home sounds lovely to me , comfortable and well furnished . Count your blessings .

No, plus they produce a very generic ‘interior designer’ look. Lean into your own tastes.

I don’t think that’s how the op comes across. Rather she feels she has perhaps compromised too much and has decor that is practical rather than reflecting her own personality. She has been very complimentary about her friend’s home.

If your home is working well now leave it as it is !
When the kids get older maybe change it around !
When my 2 were small I had a practical boring house when things wouldn't matter if a bottle of juice was dropped ect ect easy to clean good storage solutions !
Then when they got older I let my creative side come alive and my house was vintage grandma vibes imagine patterned carpets open fires lots of old vintage knik knaks I'd collected !
Then the peri Menopause started and boom I wanted it all gone and now it's all back to calm and neutral and no clutter whatsoever so in different stages u will decorate to suit !!!
My house looks like 3 completely people have lived in it over the years ! If u was to look at old pictures !!

My house is crazy colourful and maximalism eclectic. Most people say they love it, but I’m sure some people are like wtf when they walk in 😂

Set yourself up a Pinterest, see what sort of looks take your fancy. I’m not much good at thinking of original ‘looks’ but am quite good at copying a vibe once I see something I like. I then put down the things that I would like in the house on my notes on phone and then have a quick look in charity shops, antique/junk shops or boot fairs for things on the list. It stops it being overwhelming. Safe to say this didn’t happen so much while kids were very young but once they got a bit older and I had more spare cash. Very few people can afford to decorate a whole house in one go, and even if you do- it all dates/ages at the same time. You have a lifetime to do it.

I think you need to develop and work out your own sense of style and then update you home. It doesn’t need to stay boring and practical!

Some people do have fabulous taste and I also think confidence. I think you should try and emulate that confidence rather than just be jealous. You can do something about your home.

I would start by buying some magazines and following some interiors accounts for inspiration and then just work though your house a room at a time.

Or you can get a colour consultant in to advise you as a start. I don’t think they are particularly expensive especially if they are from a paint company.

But things like storage don’t have to be boring even if you have young children. We have an old antique trunk (bought very cheaply) for toy storage for example.

If you like antiques - find out if there are any local fairs. Start off by being the odd piece and build from there.

My friends house on the other hand has so much personality. She has spent ages going to thrift shops and up cycling one of a kind items, hand selecting everything. You would absolutely walk into that house and know it belongs to her and her DP. It reflects their personality so beautifully.

Some people have a flair for this sort of thing. I don't. I just have to live with it. I feel the same as you about DB and partner's house, even their clutter manages to look eclectic and stylish.

Oh and ignore your DH! You are allowed what you want in your home.

I think it’s quite natural to feel envy when we meet someone who is living their own version of self expression in any form , be in in their dress sense , their career , their interior design or anything else.

So is that you don’t trust your own taste?

Jealousy is not a 'completely natural emotion'. Feeling envious perhaps, but jealousy?

Being jealous of somebody is inherently spiteful.

We bought a new build a few years ago and it’s a lovely house. I am very happy with it

So focus on that then instead of being miserable with your lot and wishing you had stuff that others have.
Talk about taking the joy out of the nice things you already have! Joyless way to live.
Nobody's forcing you to have a "boring" home.
Go on Pinterest or whatever and find some new ideas.
(Not green, you've already shown it's not a good look on you 🙂)

Why don’t you ask her to help you? I’m a creative person and I really enjoy helping others out.

As PP have said use copilot or chatGpT (just as a start before I get shut down). Put some photos of your living room with dimensions or a floor plan. Tell it what colours you like, or style that you’re interested in and ask it for suggestions of how to arrange / style the room. You can ask it for lots of different ideas, do maximalist, scandi etc. and see which appeals.
You could then look at Vinted/eBay as PP have suggested to see if you can find some bargains. Have fun!
edited for unfortunate typo!

I’m just… boring. I’m thinking of how I reflect my own personality onto the house and I don’t even know how to begin to do that or what pieces would reflect me.

Add some artwork, prints by artists you like or do some original diy designs. Layer your lighting and add cushions that elevate. Use some wallpaper, if you are able to, especially in the smallest room. Make a mood board with some samples. Just some suggestions that might inspire.

Lets start with living room, have a look round some shops with home stuff such as Homesense/Tk maxx, Dunelm, Next, B&m etc.

Look for one item that inspires you and is a bit out of your comfort zone such as a cushion, ornament, lamp, rug or artwork etc. Something with a bold or bright colour. Bring it back to your home and live with it for a while. The next time you go out or are browsing online, have that one item in mind and find other items to complement. Don’t think everything has to be the same colour as that will look too matchy. For example if you had a navy blue vase, you could choose a mustard or hot pink cushion. Once you have built up a few items you can then be brave and pick one of more of the colours to paint or wallpaper one wall.

Move

I think you are envious, rather than jealous. Envious means you want what she has, and want similar, but jealous means you want to have it and her not to.

Go to somewhere like Dunelm and pick up a few colourful cushions, an unusual lamp, an ornament (non breakable!) or two. You don't need to spend much but you can jazz up a room cheaply, and maybe that will do for now.

Why dont you buy some original pieces if art ghat you love in bold colours. You still gave your sensible background volume but will put some personality in your home.

Hugs. It's so hard when you feel like that and I know being in the depths is parenting doesn't help.

I definitely second asking your friend to help, I bet she has some ideas of what you might like and what might work for you.

I think it just takes a lot of time to get a house like that. You need to dedicate your weekends to mooching around city's and looking in the unusual shops for inspiration, it's not easily found on the Internet or in magazines. Start picking up fun little bits and adding them to your home.

Get yourself on Pintrest and see what takes your fancy and use that as a bit of inspiration to change things in your home - but also consider that your home is suited to your needs and already perfectly nice.