To be incredibly jealous of friends home?

[NeverMindMee]

One of my friends has recently bought a new home and is doing it up and I can’t help but feel so incredibly jealous.

We have a lovely home but I feel it’s so boring. We bought a new build a few years ago and it’s a lovely house. I am very happy with it. We have not millennial grey washed it but it we have been very sensible with our choices. Carpets that don’t show dirt, solid furniture in sensible colours for children that will last. Sensible storage options etc.

We get lots of compliments on our home and it is lovely but I feel like it has absolutely no personality, you would never walk into it and think “oh that home belongs to so and so”.

My friends house on the other hand has so much personality. She has spent ages going to thrift shops and up cycling one of a kind items, hand selecting everything. You would absolutely walk into that house and know it belongs to her and her DP. It reflects their personality so beautifully.

I can’t help but compare. Her house isn’t what I would have myself so I’m not jealous of her things but I am jealous because I’m sat here in my boring home. If I wanted to bring anything crazy in I’m sure DH would say no way.

Sorry if I missed it, but is your friend's house a new build too?

It isn't possible to create same vibe in a 20 year old house vs a 100 year house.

You can recreate the look to a degree, but the era of the house is central to how successful the overall interior decoration is.

There are also plenty of interiors magazines for all budgets . They can even show you the suppliers. I understand OP . I have one friend in particular whose style of house I love , upcycling , etc . But then I saw how much time , effort and even money she spent as she uses expensive paints , etc . I have neither the incentive to put in the effort or the time .

Turn your jealousy into action.

You certainly don’t need an interior designer. And you certainly don’t need to set aside £2.5K.

Take photos of your rooms and upload them to ChatGPT/Google Gemini and add a prompt, such as: “Please can you generate an image of this room with accessories and X colours to bring it to life”.

Or try the “DIY on a budget” Facebook group.

If you do nothing, you’re going to become more sad and wound up about your house. So do something about it.

I’ve just taken my living room from a boring doctor’s waiting room to something with dusky pink colour-drenching and crazy wallpaper! I did it by first thinking about what it is that always catches my eye, then by consulting creative friends with different styles and then just going for it. But I find you can lift a room with simple things too, like a beautiful lampshade or some new shelving.
I’m definitely on the road to being braver!

Could you try adding a vase of bright multicolor flowers to start with? See if that inspires you?

And you sound painfully sanctimonious @TempNameForObviousReasons

Your home sounds like my kinda place, all new, & modern, with good furniture that’ll last. I’d hate to move into a tatty old place full of other people’s rubbish.

Some of the replies on here have been pretty horrible 😕

You're not boring. It's not helpful to you to frame it like that. You just haven't found what you want, what would suit your home, reflect your interests and your lifestyle.

Putting something together as your friend has takes time, devotion, and knowledge of what style she wants to achieve. That's a talent a lot of people don't have, so you are not alone.

You're wasting a valuable resource by not asking your friend for her input on to what she thinks would look good in your home.

Op Jealousy is a natural emotion for some people. I can honestly say I don't have a jealous bone in my body neither do I get envious. I've read somewhere it's a trait in the genes you either have or haven't aquired.I really don't care what others do or what they have & I'm happy for others successes in life. I imagine it must be awful to suffer from jealousy although it's even worse to be the victim of it.

I’m not suggesting you do, though. That’s my taste, not yours. It was just an example of what colour can do. What colours are your walls now, for instance?

I have come to the conclusion I’m pretty boring.

I dress comfortable and practical and not stylish. I didn’t even think of how the house looked when putting carpets and paint down. We thought about practicality and how long it would last. I can’t even change it due to this as DH would go mad as we won’t have gotten our wear out of it.

I don’t even have hobbies… there’s literally nothing at all I can reflect into the house about me. I can’t even have a cosy reading corner because I don’t read or knit or do anything linw that. I’m just a mum 😂 Maybe my house does reflect me after all, very boring!!!

It's why people employ interior designers, some people have an eye, if you've got young kids though be thankful you've got practical stuff, I have a mucky old labrador who lives on the settee, and a small terraced house that shows up muck, so wooden floors and washable throws it is. I love him though so other people's houses are exactly that, theirs, decorated and suited to them. When your kids are older you can maybe employ an interior designer and be a bit more risqué with your surroundings, for now be grateful.

I got a few tips from my very stylish ( sadly I’m not) mum back in the day that may help.

She said that people often feel happiest in rooms with some of the colour that they like in clothes.

She thought that you need to have one point of interest or drama in every room. If you have a period home, that may be the fireplace and hearth or a large painting or something of that nature. If it’s a modern home, then you need to create that feature in a piece of furniture, an amazing light fitting or art or something.

Black often adds a touch of interest or drama. So maybe a black cabinet or black edged coffee table or black accessories in an otherwise blander neutral or white room.

If you’re starting from scratch, start with one or two things you love and take it from there.

I’ve found Dunelm and H& M have great things, leaving aside expensive stores.

This is something much bigger than just your house, OP. Who were you before you were a mum?

Linen blend. Very neutral.

Our sofa is brown. We have a mismatching coloured reclining armchair but DH wanted it for comfort. All of our furniture is wood, oak coloured.

And Homesense/ TK Maxx!

Fabulous for new cushions, throws, small rugs, lamps that change the look quickly.

@NeverMindMee I know exactly what you mean. Our house is nice; clean, tidy etc but I think you’ve either got an eye for a certain way of making a home look or you haven’t. I haven’t x

I'm a maximalist. It's a very time consuming hobby! I can spend hours browsing online. I go to different places for inspiration. I paint things and sew things. I think it is something you either love doing or don't.

My house isn't "finished" as I am still adding and changing things. It's a long running joke with DS that it will never actually be finished! But its not an overnight thing. It takes time and effort. But I enjoy it so its fine.

If you want to do something with your home you need to put the time in to find things that inspire you. It's hard though when you have a potentially resistant partner. For that reason I'd struggle to live with anyone again!

Based on your reply here, your home will reflect this.

It is who you are OP. Don't agonise over it.

You are practical and functional. You have your own style.

Wonders can be achieved by adding texture, even without colour - although I do wonder what adding a few coral or turquoise cushions to your room and maybe a vase or art picking up your accent colour would do to your room.

Google ‘adding texture and depth to neutral room’ and see what you like. What about some textured woolly or fur cream cushions ( see H&M etc) or rattan/ wicker type accessories? A rug? Cheap quick updates.

You are NOT boring. You just have a different sense of taste to others. You don't have to go big or go home - why not just buy yourself one colourful cushion? Find one that speaks to you - you might love delicate patterns like small florals or big, dramatic jungle prints. Just one thing, a small one. Live with it for a while and if you like the way it looks in your home, then maybe get something else in the same style - a rug, a print. Sometimes just a few small tweaks are enough to give 'depth' to a room, and I suspect as your children grow up you will find your own sense of style.

Ask her for some advice, to make your home look good. It's okay to feel jealous sometimes.

Show us the armchair so we can maybe suggest what will go with it, it’s a good starting point

I m an interior architect. Being sensible doesnt equate boring. You need to stop having a fix mindset and see what sparks you.

i always tell my client to start with fashion and ask yourself those questions. When you look at the oscars, what were the dresses you were drawn to?

• colour wise
• fabric wise
• style

how do you dress going to work? Going out? Invited to a wedding? I bet there is sensible to work, whats the other 2

then if money was no object what brand(s) would you buy your clothes from?

the answers to those questions give you: colours, style, texture, patterns, cut.

now find things that spark the same emotion when you look at them.

• antic markets
• car boot sale
• hm home
• zara home
• next
• etsy
• …

so many places that dont break the bank.

if you d like to learn to upcycle ask your friend. Even if you dint have the same style, she can teach you the skills to do it and what to look for.

the key is to CURATE to your taste and take your time. Buy one or 2 things at the time and only if you love it.

you can do that with your husband or alone.

i really recommend you try and find yourself again outside of mum! what did you do or enjoy or fancy when you were younger? if you've got a good partner, you should be able to find at least one evening a week or one session on a weekend to do something for yourself.