To be incredibly jealous of friends home?

[NeverMindMee]

One of my friends has recently bought a new home and is doing it up and I can’t help but feel so incredibly jealous.

We have a lovely home but I feel it’s so boring. We bought a new build a few years ago and it’s a lovely house. I am very happy with it. We have not millennial grey washed it but it we have been very sensible with our choices. Carpets that don’t show dirt, solid furniture in sensible colours for children that will last. Sensible storage options etc.

We get lots of compliments on our home and it is lovely but I feel like it has absolutely no personality, you would never walk into it and think “oh that home belongs to so and so”.

My friends house on the other hand has so much personality. She has spent ages going to thrift shops and up cycling one of a kind items, hand selecting everything. You would absolutely walk into that house and know it belongs to her and her DP. It reflects their personality so beautifully.

I can’t help but compare. Her house isn’t what I would have myself so I’m not jealous of her things but I am jealous because I’m sat here in my boring home. If I wanted to bring anything crazy in I’m sure DH would say no way.

Why don't you invite her over to help you design something that is you? Be honest with her and explain that you are really impressed with her decor and tell her you have realised that your home doesn't have a personality and it makes you sad. I don't know how close you are but maybe see if she would care to join you in looking in thrift stores etc and it would be great opportunity to catch up and maybe have a girls lunch too.
Most people would feel really flattered to be asked

use chat gpt - i do this a lot and it gives me tons of ideas to re create my rooms!
and its free!

You live in your home, make it YOURS. Long as you are not planning to sell soon, make it your own

Definitely see this!! And totally normal feeling. But it could just be the novelty I suppose? I find houses like this amazing to see, but would I want to live in one? Absolutely not. I like a peaceful and less loud environment

Well firstly making sensible choices is… well sensible! Good for you!

Secondly why don’t you ask your friend for some help? Ask to go thrifting with her. Or invite her around for tea and pick her brains! Ask her where she shops and what inspires her.

At the end of the day everyone’s different aren’t they? For most people if you have a comfortable home then that’s brill. For others they’re incredible arty and love doing their homes up. There’s no right and wrong!

It’s just that it’s not either/or, I suppose. There’s nothing more ‘sensible’ about neutral paint compared to a strong colour —child-related scuffs less evident, for instance. Ditto lamps rather than ceiling lights. Or floorboards and rugs — much easier to take a rug to the cleaners if a child pukes on it.

Have you thought about using artwork prints on the walls. Not too expensive and they can really give personality without having to commit too much money.

Don’t take the sensible option, pick what you love. I am like your friend and a new build would absolutely not do for me as I love character but I think you can still get some individuality in with the right colour choices and pieces of furniture etc.

That said, not everyone has an eye for these things, it may be wise to get some professional advice or start looking at houses similar to yours that have managed to achieve what you’re looking for.

Is your friend’s house an older property?

And what if you make it 'yours' then need/want to sell further down the line? @carly2803 are you suggesting that you depersonalise every previous decorating choice ahead of selling?!? That seems crazy, imo.

If you've added quality wallpapers and paints (we've got some lovely wallpapers that retail between £150-200 per roll and our paint is Edward Bulmer, Little Greene, Farrow & Ball), surely there's no way you'd want to rip all that out to replace with bland magnolia or greige, in case anything more niche puts a buyer off? I know I wouldn't (and except my one example up thread, never have as it was a complete waste of effort/expense)!

Make it your own and have the confidence of your convictions to keep it that way 😁

Sounds more like you are jealous of her ability rather than what she has. Could you take some kind of creativity lessons? To explore how to find your style and how to put things together that work well. For some people this comes naturally for others it’s something that can be learned.

Mine is the same - it tells our story of the countries we've lived in and the experiences we've had there. It also reflects our different cultures and personalities. Bespoke artwork, unique pieces created just for us, etc.

Attempting to ‘reflect’ our personality sounds artificial. To me it’s more about knowing and tuning into what we love or need — and owning that. If you love and need order and simplicity — that’s just what is authentic to you. Perhaps just notice more how you feel about what you want to see around you and live with. Trust yourself — we’re all different. I have friends with a multitude of tastes and perspectives and the most joyful people to be around are those that are unapologetically themselves, in different areas of their lives.

I feel my way in shaping my environment — taking inspiration from the period of our home, how we live, what we’re drawn to individually and as a family and we enjoy making a feature of our loves and interests. Some people are delighted by our home and others can’t cope with a space that isn’t curated to the finest detail. I don’t care — it’s our space to live in how it suits us.

I’m the same as the above poster who loves going to peoples interior designed colourful houses and often wish I could have that kind of time money and inspiration to do mine.

Then I get home to my simple plain (but does have colour) home and I’m glad it’s what I have as I feel calm.

Jealousy is always unreasonable.

There is a saying, "If you don't like where you are, move. You are not a tree."

If unsure how to go about it, or who to ask etc, there are so many resources that can assist.

One of the biggest barriers to change is ourselves. Our fear of the unknown, our insecurities, not having the right life experience, education etc.

This is where jealousy comes in. Because people have overcome our fears or obstacles and gotten the end result we desire.

That being said, Pinterest is useful for interior design.

Also, if you like colours but don't know how to put them together, I have found that if you type something like, red, purple orange interior design ideas into your search bar, you will get tons of photos and articles for inspiration.

Instead of feeling down, use your friend's house as inspiration!

Actually - having a plain, simple home could be a great canvas for a bold, colourful feature that could really pop.

Like a brightly painted wall, or a fabulous pendant light or two, or some stunning wall textiles. Less is more and some well-placed high-quality well designed features go a very long way.

Write a list of ideas down of things you all like, your favourite colour combos, artists, designers etc and what gives your family personality and use AI (take a photo and ask AI to design in XYZ) to visualise in situ- have some fun planning with your family.