AIBU to expect my husband to buy lubricant for sex?

[Orangeducks]

For years me and my husband have used lubricant in sex because otherwise I bleed/ it chafes and isn't that comfortable. The bottle ran out about a month ago and I asked him to buy more (I know I could buy it but im a teacher and terrified a student/parent will spot me buying it). Its always been him that buys it. He just keeps forgetting and the last couple of times we've had sex without it but I bleed and its become like a joke that he hasn't bought it. We were about to have sex earlier and I got annoyed that he hadn't bought any yet. I explained that I play my part in our sex life by going to the pharmacy every 3 months and getting my blood pressure checked etc to get the pill and put artificial hormones in my body every day (he refuses to get the snip though were definitely done with kids) as well as all the other stuff that women accept comes with sex (I get thrush fairly frequently) and that I felt it wasn't much to ask that he picked up a bottle of lube. I am almost always with the children (they attend my school) as well so any time I'm shopping, they're with me. He works away 3 days a week so has a lot more time alone and I am very rarely out of the house with out my kids and don't fancy going to the lube aisle with them! He's just stormed out and said I could buy it and now is sulking.
AIBU to make it his responsibility to buy it?

I'm sure his mum knows all about this issue or wouldn't realise what it was.

☝️

Yes I know there's a wider issue here - but honestly just buy it on line through Boots if you don't want to use Amazon

Him not having the snip seems selfish - if you are done having kids then that would be a great thing for him to do. But you need to discuss it calmly and perhaps enlist the help of another friend's husband who has had it to have a chat with him...

He seems a bit embarassed and selfish but if he's generally OK then there is possibly wider things going on - can the 2 of you get out somewhere and chat calmly about it - with you listening too!

This

ffs you are being ridiculous. you can literally buy lube from supermarkets these days or about a million different online retailers who use discreet packaging.

😂

Order it from Boots or Superdrug online if Amazon is a problem. And stop enduring sex that leaves you sore and bleeding.

Edited to add: in terms of wanting your husband to take responsibility that’s totally reasonable, but don’t let him off that responsibility by having sex without the lube he’s failed to purchase.

Unless hers come to your home she won’t see what you buy

it’s 2 separate accounts sharing prime

You are a prude not just buying from a shop

equally your dh is a twat to not buy

and you both are mad to have sex if hurts without - why do that ?

I am not easily embarrassed, but if you are it is quite easy to order things like condoms and lube online and get them delivered. It would take a couple of minutes on Amazon and you could get a discount for bulk?

YA both BU. He's BU to be having sex with you when it's uncomfortable or painful for you (assuming he knows that) and YABU to be a grown woman who is too embarrassed to buy lube and apparently can't imagine any other means of purchasing it beyond walking into a shop or using a shared Amazon Prime account. You can buy it online from a zillion other places including Boots, Superdrug and supermarkets.

Do you actually want to have sex with him?

Dear Me folks, IT'S NOT ABOUT THE LUBE!!! It's about a lack of effort and respect from her DH. OP, it would absolutely be a hill I chose to die on. In fact, I'd now refuse any intimacy until he's bought some. He sounds thoughtless at best. It's not just your responsibility to make your sex life happen.

But why? You’re acting as if it’s somehow shameful that you have sex with your husband. A lubricant is hardly in the same league as something like a sex toy - more of a medical requirement. Anyway, if you don’t want to use Amazon buy it from an online pharmacy. And no way should you be agreeing to uncomfortable sex - making you bleed! - without it.

Buy it through Superdrug online then. Or Boots. Or Love Honey. I don’t really get what the problem is there, there are multiple options that don’t involve you standing next to a student buying in face to face

Straight from Google:

You can hide Amazon orders by using the "Archive Order" feature, though this must be done via a desktop browser. Archiving removes items from your default order history view, but they are still visible in a separate "Archived Orders" section. Note that this is not a perfect security feature, as archived items can still be found.

How to Archive (Hide) Orders

1. Log in to Amazon on a desktop browser
2. (or set your mobile browser to "Desktop Site").
3. Go to Returns & Orders.
4. Locate the item and click "Archive order".
5. Confirm by clicking "Archive order"again.

Important Things to Know
Limitation: You can archive up to 500 orders.
Accessing Hidden Orders: You can view them by going to Account & Lists > Archived Orders.
Best Alternative: For complete privacy in shared households, it is recommended to set up an Amazon Household, which allows two adults to have separate, private accounts while sharing Prime benefits.

But of course you should be having any sex that you don’t want or that causes you pain. So you’re NBU about that.

He should absolutely take responsibility and I am actually quite disturbed that he is happy to have sex with you when he knows it causes pain

I have an Amazon Prime account that I share with my DH, I don't get to see what he has ordered, and presumably he doesn't get to what I have ordered! I was under the impression that only two adults in a residence could share their Prime accounts, and they do need to have the same address?

1. You could amazon it
2. Why are you forcing yourself to have sex if it hurts and you bleed? That can’t be enjoyable for you.
3. Why is a man who is meant to love you laughing at hurting you during sex?

How do people not look at the posts that are easily solvable and not think ‘maybe there’s more to it than lube?

You’re the one who needs the lube…go and buy it fgs. I don’t understand all this angst over buying it and you’re making excuses why you can’t do it. And why are you having sex without it when you know it’s painful and makes you bleed. Honestly, you’re a grown up and acting helpless. And he shouldn’t be having sex with you when he knows you don’t enjoy it without lube.

You don’t need to use Amazon to buy things online.

You can also do click and collect at the supermarket.
Just do an online shop and add it to your regular shopping.

Sorry OP but you sound ridiculous.

You could go to a shop if you really wanted to. There must be a shop that isn't on your doorstep that you could pop into or order online. You can set up a new Amazon account or order from a different retailer online.

You are entitled to say no to sex if it's going to be painful but listing all these excuses why you can't buy the lube makes you sound pathetic.

I think its really interesting how this is being taken. Lots strongly focusing on the practical issue of buying lube.
Others focusing on it as a bigger issue. For me, its the bigger issue. But probably my husband sees it very much as lots of posters on here do, as simply buying the product. He sees no reason for me to find it embarrassing so doesn't understand why I haven't. And I can now see it from that perspective.

I can also still see it from my original perspective of it being just the one thing he needs to do in our sexual relationship whereas I have much more on my plate to enable our sex life to run smoothly.

I should have been clearer that the bleeding is no more than you might find after an unexpected period as its just sensitive cervix cells and it doesn't hurt as much as chafe. So I do still have sex without lube and deal with those issues as a minor inconvenience but am much happier when we use lube. Thank you to everyone whoe shared concern for me

OP I think you should ignore those who are telling you to buy online or not be embarrassed to buy in the supermarket.
It’s not about the lube, is it?
No sex until he performs this one simple act. He could even order it online! Or go to the supermarket and buy it! Everyone says it’s easy, so he should be able to manage it.
Then perhaps you could stop putting all those nasty hormones in your own body

Agree with this. Vaginal oestrogen will help.